About me

[jamesadams2772111]

My name is James I’m 46 years old and I liv3 in Scotland. I have had mental health issues most of my life but on now have they been brought to the surface and I can’t control ghem and put them to the back of my mind like I have done for a long time. My mother and father physically and emotionally abused me from a young age I was abused by my brother from 8 till I was 12 and then my ex wife also abused me along with her son.

[Stilltrying_]

Hello James, what a horrible lot of things for you to have to go through at such a young age. It sounds like you have been trying to cope all this time by not addressing the issues but they have reared their ugly head in a big way for you right now. Is it possible for you to see the doctor and get some kind of psychiatric help or counselling made available to you to help you cope? There is another forum on here called Heal my PTSD. You may find some posts on there which are relevant to your siuation too. Well done for surviving this long and i hope you manage to get some healing.

Gemma xx

[jamesadams2772111]

I have seen the doctor and they gave me citaliprim, diazepam and propanol. It has been a rough time of the last few months but it’s just getting worse so much so I’m at the stage I can’t cope with it anymore the nightmares and flashbacks are horrificb

[lin62-65ze]

Dear James, what you have been through is horrific, no one should ever experience something like that. Do you have a counseller? I truly think you should see your GP tomorrow if possible and get help. No human being should do that to another but unfortunately we read about these things all the time. There are organisation's that can help I used to work in Child Protection so I understand what you went through this has now all accumulated and is affecting you as you cannot forget it. Please seek professional help ASAP and once you have done that you will be on the road to recovery. Do not lose hope, we are all rooting for you xxx

[jamesadams2772111 in reply to lin62-65ze]

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and taking the time to write a reply. I have been to my GP and she was very dismissive about all of it, I also had a CPN who lisened to me and her take on it is I'm experiencing exactly what I should after what's happened to me. I also spoke with a psychiatrist and he felt the same as the CPN that what I was expecting is perfectly natural for what I have went through. In the space of a few months where I was going about day to day getting up going to work just your everyday things and now I have lost my house and have no where to go, I have had a threat made on my life and a knife pushed against my neck, and I've also 90% lost my career. I'm 46 and have nothing and no one to help and the system that's supposed to help isn't interested

[20Voices in reply to jamesadams2772111]

James, I am so sorry this has happened to you and that you have lost so much.

I was left almost homeless and I have a mountain of debts still to.pay off and I am jobless right now.

I feel your pain as everyday is a struggle and although people are saying you are expressing your thoughts and doing the right thing it does get really frustrating when you just want to feel better and get on with life.

Have you revisited any of techniques that worked for you in the past?

For me the drugs were great as a starting point but I needed more so I pushed my GP who arranged other therapies for me, but my issues were minor compared to your experience.

I am happy to share what I have tried if that.is of use to you. Send me a private message if you would like to know more. Also I have posted some information previously that may or may not be if use to you. You can find those posts on my profile.

I am 49 and feel at a loss as I don't know when I will get a job, been trying for months and no luck. I am trying to come off my medication too but had to keep taking the propanol, although I have been off the venlafaxine for 1 month now. I am desperately trying try I stay off those, but it is tough as I am freaking out about money and whether I will loose my house because people are after me for my debts. So I feel.you pain about the uncertainty that you have about your security right now.

Take care and I hope you are able to find the help you need.

If you want to talk please drop me a message.

20Voices xx

[jamesadams2772111 in reply to 20Voices]

I would really app your help the more help I get means I get better quicker. Everything I used to do wasn't a problem and I managed OK but not now I can't cope with anything, I don't know where to start and any help I've asked for I don't get, my gp is really dismissive and just wants me to go to work

[20Voices in reply to jamesadams2772111]

I will send you a private message.

[lin62-65ze]

James this is awful, have you reported this to the Police. You CANNOT allow this to wreck your future. I am disgusted with your treatment and suggest you get a different GP. The government says they are giving more support which is rubbish. Tell them your suicidal if necessary as you sound really low. I am hear to listen and help. You come FIRST xxxx

[jamesadams2772111 in reply to lin62-65ze]

I am low and I have taken an overdose a few times but I can’t even do that right because I’m still here. All the anxiety and specially the panic attacks have made me incontient the GP said well u will need to get on with that then there’s plenty placers you can buy pads

[lin62-65ze in reply to jamesadams2772111]

James you need to get help URGENTLY. Your situation is more than awful. I cannot believe you have been pushed aside like you have, someone in your situation should be getting urgent treatment. You are still young you have to remember that there are others who have suffered like yourself. You cannot overcome all of this alone. Please go back to the GP and tell them what you have told me. We all care James and want you well again xx

[Hidden]

James

Your past is very much the same as mine, although my married life has been ok

You need to look for ways to move on from your negative past. First you need to trust yourself and needs, forget the past and move on. Not like me it took us until retirement.

I personally was doing myself no good and I became a whipping boy and I thought that was normal. You have needs and wish to fulfill them, only one can do that so you need to respect yourself. Your Parents a that much older as other family members, their life is further down the road of life you are beginning your pathway.

I would advise you discuss your past problems and how these have affected your life.

Treatment may help you gain encouragement. Medications may not be needed you just need to move on from a difficult start in life. CBT may help you move on

BOB

[Hidden]

Sorry

I did not pick up that you had gone through the mincer and had CBT.

At this stage you need to trust yourself and never look back. With your PTSD/Depression.

mental health and medications can only listen and when push comes to shove it is you who will need to take control and consider your new way forward.

BOB

[Jamesadams277211 in reply to Hidden]

How do I take control, how do I move forward?

[Hidden in reply to Jamesadams277211]

In my case James I walked away from all remaining family members when I reached 60 years old. I was lucky that we were in the midst of moving and restoring a holiday home, we moved in and rented out our original property while we purchased the next door bungalow. We then sold our old home and no-one other than our Solicitor knew where we had moved to. We should have disappeared earlier. I and my Wife did not have the confidence sad to say. Although now it is like been reborn and we have started again as a pensioner. We left no contact address, our post was intercepted and redirected, some went through a solicitor.

BOB