Feeling vulnerable

Hi everyone, my life for the last month has been fairly tough. I got Pleurisy which took a while to clear. I am still seeing GP, and then this week I got bad tummy pain and have discovered I have Ulcer. Now I am all the Meds. For it.

Today I feel a bit better but all week I felt so alone and so down and worried that I would die here alone in my apartment. Now I know we all die alone in some ways, but I kept thinking about my future when I get older. I am 64 now and always felt energetic, I felt young for my age. This week that all changed and I kept thinking " what will it be like when I am 74 or 84. It sounds stupid but it really got me down. I don't have a family nearby and I have a few friends.

Maybe I am Depressed now as we'll as my Medswerechanged 3 wks ago , as my old ones which really helped the Depression put my blood pressure up.

I am sorry that this is such a boring all over the place post, I am not really sure what I am trying to say. It's hard to admit that old age scares me, and I can't seem to get back to my normal interests of painting and photography.

Hope everyone on here has a good weekend and thanks for everyone for posting stuff


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11 Replies

  • Hiya, sorry to read your post but when you get told you have an ulcer on top of everything else you are bound t feel a bit down, but it might only be diet and medication,my Husband had a massive ulcer 6 years ago but no operation just medication he goes back only yearly now for check ups.Take Care xxxxx

  • Thank you that cheers me up. X

  • I'm waiting to see a gastroenterologist to see if I have an ulcer. I've had problems which started at Easter but have not reponded to meds prescribed by the doctor. We'll have to compare symptoms!

    My problem is not so much with getting old, but with worrying that if I get ill, I won't be a priority as I get older. I know that's silly, as I'm only in my thirties, it's just something I worry about.

  • I'm sorry folks, I just had a senior moment and confused who was writing what! Better wait until tomorrow...

  • Hi Hannah, loneliness and isolation alongside poor health is bound to leave you feeling vulnerable and scared.Hopefully when new meds kick in you will begin to feel more positive, hope so, I live with family but still,at times, worry about what the future holds health wise I think depression does that to people. I find getting out everyday even if only for a short walk helps to lift my spirits, make the most of the lovely weather,

    take care

  • Thanks for that , Getting out every day is vital. Have lovely weekend. X

  • Hi Hannah, How are you feeling now? I hope you're feeling a bit better.. And I hope you've been able to go out and enjoy the sun, it would've done your health a lot of good for starters, not to mention your mental health!

    Listen to mrs hasn't been out for days and is still in her jammies ;)

    Luv n hug, Holly Xx

  • Hi Holly. Yea it was nice day here not that sunny. My friend came around and typical man said " you seem in fine humour to me " . Inwardly I was thinking if he only knew. He went home and I seem stuck in this downer. Going now to change my bedclothes which might be nice tonight. Change the cats litter tray . Tomorrow maybe I will feel better.,

    How are you love and what did ye get up to today. Talk soon and big hug to you .


  • Oh I know, I hate it when people say 'You look well today!' An inwardly you think, aye, if only you could see the state my head was in inside, it wouldn't look so well!!

    Well done you for having a bit of motivation, I've been trying to have a shower all day but I'm still in my pyjama's.. And I was gonna change my bedsheets too, can't beat clean bedding, but now that I haven't had my shower I've got a good excuse not to do that either!

    I've had a pretty shit few days too be honest, I know I make a joke out of things and I seem ok, but the last few days have been pretty bad.. I've hardly left the house or spoke to anyone, just going thru a wee bad patch..

    But like you said, tomorrow's another day, and hopefully a better one..

    I'm glad I've met you Hannah, it really does help having someone to talk to, and eventhough I hardly know you, it feels like I know you better than I know people I've known for years if you know what I mean?

    Love n hugs,Holly X

  • Ah Holly I wish I was over there and I would sit you down and make you something to eat, we would have a right laugh, it's funny how we get on, you could know someone all your life and not feel close to them. I think when you go through pain you can empathise and understand anyone else's pain. It doesn't matter what the cause of that pain is. Not that you are anyone, your Holly. The last time I saw my younger sister was for birthday meal in April , she's married with 3 kids , has a lovely home and great job. She said phone and come out for supper but of course I didn't, so it's my fault too. I am always waiting till I feel better to do things if yay know what I mean. Sorry for rambling on, Holly you look after yourself and start again tomorrow. I will talk to you tomorrow, big hug and a cat hug too.

    I am still laughing about " Dave" so funny.

    Hannah x

  • Lol I know it keeps makin me chuckle too :) I know,that would be good wouldn't it,where do you stay? Probably miles away from me.. It would be so much easier and so much more fun to spend time with someone that's like you,instead of having to 'put on a face' when you're in company that doesn't understand!

    You never know,maybe its meant to be and we'll meet sooner than we think!

    In the meantime,keep your chin up hen,I even love cats too!

    Big hug back,and lotsa luv, Holly Xxx

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