Absolutely the worlds worst C25k-er

[TeaAye]

Having a really bad day and although I did w4r3 on Saturday morning, I thought I could try w5r1 this afternoon.

But everything has gone wrong.

i had a huge argument with my son this morning, then forget to download the podcast but thought I do just redo the w4 run anyway as exercise is meant to help your mood. My trainers were still soaking wet from yesterdays run through the fields so i had second thoughts but went for it anyway as I needed to try running on the road given the field is just a big area of mud!

But i really struggled with the run, felt totally stupid as running (well old man jogging) in public i have discovered makes me feel very self conscience, and I got home and just cried my eyes out.

I know part of it is because I very stupidly joined a dating date and have now realised how middle aged, podgy and unattractive I look as I had to take a photo of me on my phone to uplaod and having seen the results i wouldn't date me....i should add I have been a single parent for well over a decade and not had anything remotely resembling a relationship for over 7 years and can't recall the last time I dated; so try the internet dating is not exactly something I am looking forward to but I was seeming to do so well with this programme that I had some of my confidence back and felt like taking life b the horns....I just lost it all and more ;0(

Thus, I have decided.I am a cr*p C25k-er, look like the back end of a bus, am technologically incompetent, and a really bad mum to boot.

I have read here psychology is part of this programme but I really don't think I am up to slow jogging for more than 5 mins. How does anyone get over just wanting to hide under the duvet and never go out of the house in trainers again? Does a really bad day really affect you that much?

[Hidden]

Oh dear TeaAye! You really are feeling down!

How can you possibly be a crap C25k-er when despite how you were feeling after arguing with your son, despite forgetting the podcast, having wet shoes, and feeling like you were struggling, you still went out and completed the run!

Many of us feel so self conscious running in public, especially when we start out.But it really is true that everyone else is so busy with their own lives/problems/thoughts etc, that they rarely even notice us.

I think you're really brave joining a dating site. it takes a lot of courage to put yourself back out there, especially after so long. But again, you did it. Instead of sitting there feeling sorry for yourself, you did something about it and took those first steps - and those are the hardest ones to take!

I don't think ANYONE looks good on a photo taken on a phone. Even so, I'm sure it's not as bad as you fear. We never see ourselves as others see us.

As for the argument with your son and feeling like such a crap mum - I've been there so many times with both of mine I've lost count. I've come to the conclusion as I've got older and they've got older that it's something we have to go through as parents and if we can just hang in there, we'll come out the other side wondering what all the fuss was about!

Technology is great when it works! I don't have a problem with technology as such, but my sense of direction is so hopeless I get lost even in familiar places! I often feel I'm going senile already as my memory is so poor I forget places and routes so easily! We all have our little foibles!

I started this programme at age 48, never having run before in my life and barely able to run for 1 minute without feeling like I was about to have a coronary! I've had some really bad days when I've thought I would never complete the run, never mind the programme. Sometimes that was how I was feeling physically, and more often, it was to do with how I was feeling mentally. I've just finished the programme this weekend and the feeling is fantastic!

I'm sorry to write such a long speech, but I wanted to let you know that you're not on your own and you will get there. Todays a bad day, but it's just a few hours out of your life and it will get better!

[TeaAye Graduate]

Sabainbr, thanks so much for this. I am 47 and have never run before. In fact I wasn't able to as my youngest was so big that he managed to shift some of my internal organs which have recently been replaced through a majority op at the end of January. For me just being able to run 1 minute is something novel as it just was too uncomfortable to do anything prior to the operation (waited 18 years to have it done...shocking really).

I really was expecting the jog to help my mood but it made it worse, and I do wonder if not leaving a whole day may have made things worse. I can be a bit of a Homer; if at first you don't succeed, give up, so keeping up my motivation is going to be tricky. I am away with work for a few days and also get lost easily so will probably wait until I get back to eve attempt w5. I must try at least as I need to get fit although if I am struggling with w4, then maybe. Should stay doing that one for a little longer.

[gdeann Graduate]

Hugs to you!!! I started this at 49.5 years old and never completed any form of exercise program in my life, let alone run! The first few runs, I was physically ill afterwards as well as not completing some one minutes. I promise if you stick with the program, you will start to build self confidence as well as endurance. You won't ever regret finishing this fantastic plan! As far as photos, I alway look at my pic and wonder if I actually look that bad. I am not photogenic at all. I bet you are your own worse critic, and you look so much better then you think. I mentioned not running some of my 1 minutes? I ran my very first 10K today, slow, but I did it. You will get there, just believe in yourself. Gayle

[alcopop Graduate]

Getting through 4 weeks of running is a massive achievement and you should feel proud.

I started this as I was unfit and overweight at age 48.

Not many people like their own photo, but when you run it does not matter, that is YOU time where you can focus on the running and listen to Laura and little else.

It is amazing how much you can achieve by doing this, if you start feeling good from the increased levels of fitness you will find that you will start feeling better about yourself.

We are all from different backgrounds and we are all different shapes and sizes - we are however all in this together (no matter how far apart) and this community has helped me and it will for you.

You have had a bit of a bad time, so try to focus on one good thing at a time and build on it.

You have got to week four

Brought up a child

and managed to write a blog on the internet - so you can do technology

Not bad for someone having a bad day - guess what? - tomorrow is a brand new day

I sincerely hope that you do not give up on the program - we are here to support you.

[loulou51 Graduate]

Hang in there. Maybe have another go at w4 r3 when you get back home and then move on to w5. You've done so well to get this far and you are obviously really pleased that you have got this far so stick with it and you will get to the end. I think all parents have moments of feeling failures it would be helpful if children came with an instruction manual!

[Bobnewbie]

Close the day. Tomorrow is a new day. You have done so well to get as far as you have - don't give up - read and re read all these comments - all wishing you well and encouraging you. But for now draw a line under the day.

[LondonKel Graduate]

TeaAye - I wish I could give you a great big hug. Please don't be so hard on yourself - You have achieved so much.

I have so much admiration for single parents - you are doing the hardest (but most rewarding) job in the world on your own - give yourself a pat on the back. Don't worry about the arguments - every parent goes through that. I argued really badly with my mum when I was 17 - 18 but now we are the best of friends.

I echo what everyone else has said re the photo - I am the most unphotogenic person and hate seeing photos of myself but people normally think they're ok so I guess what we see is not what everyone else sees.

Good on you for trying the world of internet dating. You are lovely and I'm sure you'll meet someone who will appreciate that.

Keep on with the running - it will give you time to yourself and think of the satisfaction when you complete a run.

Most of all,stop beating yourself up and be nice to yourself

Kel x x

[Anniemurph Graduate]

First of all, I hope you're feeling better today. The parent/child dynamic is impossible to get right all the time, and I reckon we're doing okay if we can navigate through that relationship with only a few bad days here and there.

Well done for taking up c25k. I am 5 stone overweight and I still get out there in my lycra leggings I'm doing this for me, not any passers-by, and I wonder how much notice people take of others anyway. The other thing is that I can run 5k and I bet most of them can't!

Take the programme slowly, repeat weeks as necessary and you will get there. It took me 50 runs not 27 to graduate, I'll never be fast or want to run for any more than 5k, and you know what? It doesn't matter, 'cos I'm doing this for me.

Good luck with the internet dating - it might be fun! Good luck with the running - get out there when you are rested, well-hydrated and not emotionally drained, and you will nail that next run. All the best,

Annie

[TeaAye Graduate]

Thank you all so much for all these comments. I really appreciate the support.

I am going to wait until I get back from being away until I tackle the next run and put the bad run to one side. Rushing the programme is not really helpful I guess and it was nice to hear that other people didn't do it in the 27 runs...think I too may be closer to 50 runs.

I will report back on the week 5 attempts

[helenf28]

Just want to give you a big cyber hug - sounds like you've had a horrid day. {{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}