Week 3 completed - would love more support from friends & family though!

I was very tempted to put off today's run and run 2 which I did on Thu. My Granny is quite unwell at the minute and at 90yrs old she is wondering why she is still here so it is very sad to see her suffer. Today I was feeling very tired come the end of work & also really sore! I had done a set of balance exercises yesterday afternoon from Aprils issue of Health & Fitness Magazine and as the day went on had an ache in my back that got worse and worse. By the time I got home from work the other half very kindly had a hot water bottle ready to help sooth the pain but when I woke up this morning it felt 10 times worse. I never feel great when I finish work after midnight and start at 10am again, but started trying to psyche myself up for completing week 3.

As I was finishing work I mentioned to my sister who I work with that I was suppose to run and she told me not to bother. Got home to my other half who was going to make dinner so I said I was supposed to go for a run while he was doing that and he said I should leave it to another night. I had convinced myself before talking to both of them that I wasn't going to run tonight (I hadn't told them), but after some contemplation I thought where is the encouragement!!!! If they aren't going to push me I really need to do this myself.

Off I set on in the rain and my first run in real darkness since my injury which made me feel very nervous about falling again, but I was fine! The main trouble I had was my trousers wouldn't stay up lol It did me the world of good, as soon as I got in I noticed straight away the tightness in my back was gone and it hasn't hurt since :D

It got me thinking about my diet also, all my family and close friends know I have been dieting since October but combined I must hear at least twice a day 'you have to give yourself a treat every now and then' - if I gave in to that every time I'm sure I would have gained weight on my diet :)

I could go on but don't want to rant any more than I have already!

On to week 4 next!!! At least I probably wouldn't be saying now that if I wasn't discouraged in the first place...

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  • Good for you! So happy you went out and did your own thing - I think sometimes people want to discourage as it makes them feel better for not doing it themselves!

    I spend my days off work with my daughters - they start weight watchers the week before me (at the end of Sept); they both gave up; I carried on; I started c25k in October with the eldest daughter, she stopped after week 2... they are now both regretting stopping dieting/running as I have slowly got fitter and have lost 1st 8lbs... I hope one day they will join me again!

    Use your determination to run as a positive for you, feel good about your achievements and relish the good feelings that will come! :-)

  • I think you have treated yourself by running, getting fit and healthy. Your mindset is different to those around you. I think maybe they want to comfort you and offering rest and food is their way of doing it. Don't be disheartened

    Quiet determination on your part will make the difference in the long run :) x

  • It did feel like a treat yesterday :)

  • Hi there, you know I share your misgivings about folk who seem to go out of their way to discourage you ... But I think Poppy may be right: some folk need a way of dismissing their own shortfalls and failings about not doing something active and positive for themselves! Please stick with this scheme - it's truly amazing because it appears to bring out the best and most amazing abilities of you and your body! I'm still fairly new to this ... Working my way through week 4 with an interrupted schedule because of family and work commitments. You may find week four is a bit of a steep learning curve... The runs go on longer than one track of music and I found that a bit gruelling the first time. But, after a few attempts I've managed a full W4 schedule and plan to do it again and again until it feels comfy. Don't worry too much about unhelpful folk close by, concentrate on you and your goal! There will be a time very soon when they will all see a changed and fitter you ... Then they might be a little more curious about how this came about and might even start some flattering, encouraging commemts in your direction! ;) All the best, you are surrounded by well-wishers on this forum! Linda :)

  • Sounds tough on all sorts of levels but what the others say is right. My advice is to listen to your own subconscious - that's clearly where your motivation is coming from. It's YOU that WANTS to be a better person. You've taken the brave choice to start improving your life. I reckon that if, having done that you give in to please others, you'll feel really bad.

    Tish1970 could well be onto something - your family obviously care about you and probably were just saying that if you felt sore, a night off might be sensible. I guess I might have given the same advice - there's always tomorrow. But, like reducing weight, running needs to be done regularly else you go back to square one. I you explain this, they'll understand a bit better & be in a better position to support you in ways you find helpful.

    Sounds like you are committed to helping youself - that to me is the key. Lifestyle changes don't happen overnight & it can take a while for them to become the new normal. Keep true to yourself & try to help your nearest see that you want them to help you reach your goals.

    Good luck, and let us know how you progress!

  • People telling me not to bother would make me more determined!! Good on you for getting out there. It's hard enough battling my own negativity and talking myself into a run sometimes without having others tell me to give it a miss. Keep going. :-)

  • Good for you for sticking at it, I too thought I would get more support from home, but as soon as its wet or cold I get " why don't you leave it for tonight" but do I listen, no. I just get on with it, it's something like you I want to achieve for myself. So you go girl, you'll get all the support you need from like mimded people on here. Good Luck and keep it up your doing great.

  • My immediate family (hubby and daughter) were brilliant when I first started the programme. I knew it was going to be hard so I told them that on the 3 nights I went to the gym they would need to take care of cooking etc. For about the first 5 weeks they were amazing and so supportive. Then one night I got home to find that hubby had fallen asleep on the sofa and daughter was out so I did what us mums do and got on with cooking dinner. Since then they haven't really bothered.

    My mum-in-law was very Ill for a number of months and as we lived the nearest it meant that I had to do a lot of running round at weekends (hubby works shifts so couldn't do as much) so I missed out on some trips to the gym which has set my post-graduation progress back, especially since we lost her in February.

    Where my family supportive, well not really - they just kept pointing out how often I wasn't going to the gym, but didn't offer to do anything to help. I spoke to hubby about it last week and he thought he was being encouraging and didn't realise how his comments had sounded to me.

    I guess where I'm getting to with all this rambling is that our friends and families may not always realise what we need and so their clumsy attempts often turn out to be completely the wrong thing and unless we tell them what we need they will keep getting it wrong and we will keep thinking they don't really care!!!!

    I've told hubby that I need his support again and I need him to take care of stuff at home sometimes and you know what - he didn't bat an eyelid, he just said yes, tell me when you need me to do stuff :-)

  • That's great to hear, I guess we have to think it's hard for others to adapt to our routines and changes too. I know my friends and family do care it's more the support as you say that I would like more off. I don't think they discourage me for their own gratification, but they maybe don't have the end goal/vision I have so it's hard for them to see.

    Also if each person only discourages me once a week, but about 15 other people all do it too it happens at least twice a day!!! I'll start with the worse offenders and work my way down :)

  • So pleased that you did your own thing and did what you felt was right, which reading some of the other comments to your blog was reiterated too!

    What you need to understand is that in all relationships one of the parties has slightly more control than the other. If that control is then balanced the other way then it affects the person that was originally in control. So maybe your friends offering advice on having a treat, having a rest from running is their way of 'righting' the balance of control.

    You have changed your life and people around you see this and could feel threatened by all of this.

    Communication is the key to all of this, take time to explain the change in life style to your husband, friends and family but re-assure them that you have not changed as a person but that you want to achieve slightly different goals.

    Good luck!

    p.s. treat yourself to new running trousers - they'll make you feel even more fabulous about yourself and make your friends even more jealous. Lol.

  • I can't wait to get new leggings, but my gas and electric bills always have a habit of appearing at the same time so I will have to wait to next month. I'll be on week 7/8 by then hopefully :D

  • All I can sat is I echo everything everybody has said.

    There is one strange thing, at the start everyone seems to be against you

    but like the "Ugly swan" you suddenly become the one everyone wants to be.

    Keep at it, from someone who has been there.

  • The great thing about this online community is it's somewhere to get support outside your family - use it, it really works!

  • Wow...you got sabotage on two fronts (family and friends)! Reading your blog has been inspiring to me. I can only echo all the other comments on giving you encouragement to continue. Running will be better for all the stress that's currently in your life--DON'T give it up. Patiently keep explaining to family and friends, that this is YOUR THING, it's what YOU want to do...keep saying it quietly, firmly and often--they will get with the program eventually. This community supports you...I support you, you go, Girl!

  • You know your friends and family best so you're probably right in what you say, however, I doubt it's a conscious discouragement. Have you told them how you feel?

    Tell them you want them to lace up your runners and kick you out the door, not throw you your slippers and hand you a slice of cake. They may just need telling.

    Ultimately though, no matter how encouraging others are, in the heel of the hunt, it always comes down to you and you clearly have what it takes to keep getting out there.

  • I'm sure I have told them but I could always be more blunt :)

  • Aye. Smash them over the head with a mallet. Then tell them again.

    You might find it best to wait until they're out of hospital though.

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