Hold The Goddamn Phone

[PaulS83]

I. Am. A. Runner.

Yesterday morning, Michael Johnson told me personally and I almost shed a tear. I'm not going to let it change me though. I'm still Paul from the block.

Week 6 was forged deep inside the Devil's anus and plucked forth into existence by a diabolic vet, reaching elbow deep. Without even a cursory washdown, it was slapped violently in the middle of this cursed programme with the sole intent to crock my knee, but Ha! Not this time, you vile piece of Beelzebubic excrement; you will not expel me to the injury couch. You will not park me back on my arse with all the grace an upright cadaver whose been kept in the warm. I. Am. A. Runner!

Onward to week 7. If it takes anything less than 18 months to overcome, it's going to be an absolute joy by contrast.

"So what happened?" I hear you ask, "What about all this 'uglh, I think I need a week between runs' you were harping on about?"

Well, let me tell you...

...you're lucky I've got other things to do today, so this is the abridged version...

I got better.

Right, I'm off for some mirror flexing. It's great being a runner. I feel so strong and healthy. I've drawn a six pack on my belly, it's just for the next couple of days before the real one shows up, I'm guessing there's a 24 hour delay or something.

More on this later.

[AlMorr Ambassador Graduate]

Congratulations on completing run 3 of week 6, you are correct, you are now OFFICIALLY a RUNNER, well done, onwards and upwards to week 7 which are all 3/25 minute runs, not long now until you graduate from C25K, you should be very proud of yourself 😊 🏃🏾

[PaulS83 in reply to AlMorr]

I did actually have a little pang of pride when the app called me a runner. I was more expecting a brief moment of relief.

[nowster Graduate]

I've some bad news: running won't give you a six-pack, but it might free up the space there for one to be developed.

[PaulS83 in reply to nowster]

There’s about 4” of blubber to be cut through. I’ve actually lost 4.5kg in the last few weeks. Not all attributable to running of course. I took the doc martins off, that helped too.

[Sybilw Graduate]

Wow - that’s a concise review!! Well done on breaking your record - I’m sure you’ll find the next 2 weeks a dawdle!

[PaulS83 in reply to Sybilw]

Yeah, there’s not much grey area with me. Either black or white. Like a cow’s buttock.

[Sybilw Graduate in reply to PaulS83]

Friesian! 🐄

[SeeJillRun Graduate]

Congratulations on surpassing all previous attempts and not buggering up your knee in the process 🎉👏🏃🏻‍♂️

[PaulS83 in reply to SeeJillRun]

I know, that’s THE achievement, right? I’m thinking Sports Personality of the Year. I’ve already got a speech prepared. Naturally, it’s about 40 minutes long.

[SeeJillRun Graduate in reply to PaulS83]

Looking forward to hearing it! 😂😂😂

[GailXrunning Graduate]

Looking forward to the next instalment already. That’s a cliffhanger.🧗🏻‍♂️

[PaulS83 in reply to GailXrunning]

Haha, I thought I had more time to get tip-tapping into usual obscurity, but then my wife viciously attached me with a list of jobs.

[GailXrunning Graduate in reply to PaulS83]

Sometimes, needs must.

[SueAppleRun Graduate]

That really made me laugh, i never found my six pack and neither did Willow, we have to lose our giving up smoking weight first, mind you I don’t know why he put on giving up smoking weight as he didn’t give up! but spring gave a joy of chocolate and many other things and we both ate loads as my taste buds enjoyed smoke free tasting lol Enjoy being a runner and don’t push your speed too much to take care of that knee

[PaulS83 in reply to SueAppleRun]

Same here, I’m 5 weeks in giving up smoking (again) and I’m nervous about my paunch sprouting a paunch!

[SueAppleRun Graduate in reply to PaulS83]

5 weeks is brilliant, well done, the one thing i know is i put on less weight than others who gave up smoking and put that down to running, I can breathe deeper and quieter when running, i used to sound like a steam train, my resting heart rate and blood pressure are way down and my oxygen levels are up 😀so all the best reasons to stay quit, the only downside is the weight and am beginning to tackle that

[John_W Graduate]

Can't wait to read all, no... scrub that... *SOME* of it later

Oh, and well done!

[PaulS83 in reply to John_W]

Like my speed, I’ll try and wind in the posts!

[LottieMW Ambassador]

Well done! 😅

[PaulS83 in reply to LottieMW]

Thank you. It’s all smooth sailing from here... 😬

[Wenderwoo Graduate]

Blumin heck, its a good job I was sitting down when I read that! Excellent news, well done 😁

[PaulS83 in reply to Wenderwoo]

It was your pep talk that got me out!

[Wenderwoo Graduate]

Well I'm glad I have my uses..... Just 3 weeks to go now. Sod the lockdown lifting and family get together, I'll hang a sparkling bauble on my Xmas tree when you cross the line!

[nowster Graduate]

A report that doesn't require me to use Windolene on the screen after reading it? Will normal service be resumed soon? 😉

[PaulS83 in reply to nowster]

I was cut off mid stream. I hate it when that happens. I’ll try and free up some time over the next couple of days to go to town.

[nowster Graduate in reply to PaulS83]

Cut off mid stream? That sounds painful!

[Buddhagal Graduate]

Wow... another author in the making, brilliant post👍. You sound absolutely chuffed, and so you should be. What a good feeling hey😁. You really have surpassed yourself RUNNER. 👏👏👏👏🦌🐢🐌🏃‍♀️🙋

[Jell6 Graduate]

I'm not getting notifications again, or maybe your post was too short.A readers digest version of you.

Well done for sensibly getting through week 6.

Nearly there.