I don't know if I had the Coronavirus, but my graduation run was tough and I realise now just how harsh and unpleasant it actually was. The two attempts I made afterwards were even worse and I found myself giving up within 10 minutes or so. I still recovered quite quickly and non-running life seemed fine. But I was very sad that my "achievement" seemed to have been taken away.
A few psychological battles with myself ensued: Nobody is making me do this - Laura does not actually know of my existence so she will not mind how much I do, or don't do - I can do as much or as little as I want - I flippin' well knew there would be a limit to this and I reached it very quickly - etc. One of the things that you get with asperger's syndrome is that the mental anxiety (in my case it manifests as "what do I do now, what the hell do I do next? But all the time.... ) is usually greater than any physical symptoms so I don't notice if I am sick, and it had to be bad enough to stop me running before I noticed enough to email my GP, who kindly gave me some antibiotics. I think they worked, but two weeks went by before I felt comfortable outside.
I think a combination of cold dry air, and wearing my neck buff over my mouth and breathing in my own bacteria eventually caused something. But this week, with temperatures soaring up to about 7 degrees and a gentle rain, I pondered how to get back into running. I found a new park which wasn¨t closed, really just a couple of tree lined avenues joined together, and decided to just begin the programme over again. It actually doesn't matter, does it. Even experienced athletes who miss a couple of weeks have to ease back in, I read. This is a serious business. And many times in my life I have gone back to the beginning on drums, piano, clarinet... it as surprising what we miss the first time around in our haste to progress, progress, progress, get on with it, achieve bla bla.
My friend's daughter, 24 years old and quite a drinker, happily posted on instagram how she started running and did 30 minutes straight off and how we can all do it. Another one started her own fitness class and also posted her homemade videos which are exhausting to watch and probably dangerous to attempt for lesser gifted or older mortals. There is a fine line between being inspired or motivated, or being reminded of your own weakness. On the other hand, my friend in england who is 81 and still active as one of the world's great innovators in free improvised jazz, said to me "competition is ok, as long as the only person you are in competition with is yourself", and I thought about that a lot, before deciding to start again at week two.
The good thing about this is that it is manageable, and I have the discipline of the programme. It is very clever and very effective, and I can remember how I felt the first time around, when it was new to me. This time I actually enjoyed the now familiar music, but more importantly I could do it! It felt good again, honestly, and I did eight 90 second bursts at a good pace, probably a better pace than the first time, and best of all my legs seemed to welcome back the movement. I have accepted my humility at being almost back at the beginning. Week three tomorrow, but you can't have the graduation T-shirt back! 
Thanks for reading, stay safe, warm and dry, and healthy.
OMG - Week 2 complete!!!
Week SEVEEERRRRN - complete
Week 9 Run 3 - and it felt gooooood!!!
Week 2 complete! 
Graduation second time round
