A lack of motivation

[SAgirl92]

So I was blessed to bring 2 beautiful babies into the world 7 months ago... And I believe I am a great mum. I stick yo routine for them... but when it comes to myself I let go. I have no motivation to so the dishes to finish that last load of laundry. I have spurts of energy and get it done but that hardly ever happens. I only get motivated when my partner is home... but during the day when I'm on my own I can't be bothered to do anything except be a mum. Why do I forget about myself?! It's getting more difficult to deal with.

[FYorkshireman]

My wife has started to go jogging with a friend and takes all the kids aswell.

She jogs with our 1yr old in the pram which is called ‘baby jogger’. Our 5 and 7yr olds go along too.

Maybe this is something you could look at?

I’m sure you will get more energy the more you run.

Stick with it and work out when you can. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

If you can’t get out during the day. Try going out later in the day when your partner is home?

That way you get half an hour to yourself..

Keep us posted on your progress.

All the best.

[SAgirl92 in reply to FYorkshireman]

Thank you for the advice.

I'll certainly give it a go.

Will keep you updated. 😊

[IannodaTruffe Mentor]

This is a forum for new runners and I am not sure if you intended to post here, but if you could find the time to follow the C25K training plan it could transform how you approach life, as it has for countless thousands of people.

All the info you need is here healthunlocked.com/couchto5...

Being a new parent is testing for everyone and the change from your former life can leave you confused and unsure where to go next. Find some interests, just for you (perhaps running!) and don't feel selfish for doing so. It may require cooperation from your partner, but feeling that you are achieving new things will help put it all in perspective.

Take care.

[SAgirl92 in reply to IannodaTruffe]

I will have a look at the website thank you.

[Wanna-Be Graduate]

Depression isn't always not being able to motivate yourself to do anything and crying all the time. Sometimes it's having the motivation to do what has to be done, being a great new mum, and having nothing left for laundry or dishes.

It's totally normal and your GP or health visitor can help.

I'm sure being on your own in the day isn't helping so if you can manage it try to find a mother and baby group. You will probably find there are other new mums feeling just the same as you.

Sending virtual hugs

[SAgirl92 in reply to Wanna-Be]

Thank you very much. I didn't even think that's what it could be.

[Wanna-Be Graduate in reply to SAgirl92]

I may very well be wrong.

It's just the way you discribe a lack of motivation rather than energy and that it's getting harder to deal with stood out to me.

Whatever the reason I hope you find your motivation again. In the meantime try not to stress about it as for me that just makes my motivation even worse 🙄

[DLMZ Graduate in reply to SAgirl92]

Hiya what wannabe said about depression chimed with me when I was reading your post. What you describe were my symptoms and it took time for me to set myself achievable goals and praising myself for doing them. Sometimes as basic as showering & getting dressed. My goals have got larger over time one of which was to get fitter and I’ve just completed couch to 5k. I agree with the ideas in the other posts but start small and reward yourself along the way. Perhaps also talk to a healthcare professional if you don’t feel more yourself in time.

[MarkyD Graduate]

That's a gorgeous picture of you and your twins in the NHS Weight Loss forum.

Welcome to the C25K forum. Now, I don't want to be parochial, but you are going to get tremendous support and encouragement from us here at C25K. There are loads of active members, and I'm certain that we can help you along.

I think that it is pretty natural for you to be so focused on the needs of your children and being a Mum. It must be instinctive... you'd do anything for them and you're so focused on their needs that you put them first. That's pretty normal.

You don't say if you have any help or support during the day, but I won't be easy with the gorgeous two if you are on your own. The day must stretch ahead with feeds and playtime and sleeps (you and the babies) and so laundry or tidying up go to the bottom of the pile.

A little tip that I use when I'm feeling overwhelmed is the "just 5 minutes" rule. There are always a load of jobs that need doing. I pick one and start a 5 minute timer on my phone. After 5 minutes, I stop (or sometimes I go on to finishing the job). Somehow the thought of 2 hours of laundry make me never start. But a quick 5 minutes - put the washing on the line, or 5 minutes of pairing socks - seems achievable. Once I've done the 5 minutes, I feel good about myself for achieving something.

I've not said anything about running. We can get you running for 30 minutes and help you go down one (or two) dress sizes. Let us know when you feel ready to start. Your post makes me think that you're a bit low at the moment: there is no hurry.

Wishing you all the best.

[ScottishKaty in reply to MarkyD]

Love the 5 minute rule!

[SAgirl92 in reply to MarkyD]

Thank you so much. Your kind words mean so much. And I am looking to lose weight and if love to do the running but my pregnancy messed my knees up. I have started off with power walking in the evenings... but again it's the motivation to get my butt off the sofa and actually continue. I need to get my mindset sorted. But to be part of a community with people without positive vibes already makes me feel better. And the can do attitude. I will definitely try the 5 minute rule and will keep you updated on how well that goes. X

[ScottishKaty]

Find time for you, be it read a book, go for a walk etc... and the chores will get done somehow... and find other mums that you can link up with, share your woes and if they are up for a bit of running, all the better. And before you know it it will be school, then empty nest...

[SAgirl92 in reply to ScottishKaty]

Lol... Thank you. I will probably join a mummy group to get some mummy friends. And I don't intend in wishing the time away just yet... empty nest I pray will still be a long way away even though time does fly.

[ScottishKaty in reply to SAgirl92]

That’s what I thought and my two are 26 & 23... but in my head I am still in my 30s... 😀🤣🤪 enjoy them while they still are cute & don’t answer back

[Equi-geek Graduate]

I echo what others have said and just wanted to suggest the Headspace app for guided meditation. There is also a Facebook page if you want to find out more about it. It has helped me a lot in the last year, following a diagnosis of Anxiety, Depression and binge eating disorder, and running has helped me even more. Be kind to yourself - you’re doing amazingly well with two babies to care for - I’m in awe!

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate]

Hi.. you awesome Mamas are inspirational.. and these small ones are so special and so important... and so full on... wonderfully and exhaustingly!

So, some time for you... there are some great workouts for Mums and Babas to do at home

gethealthyu.com/mom-and-bab...

....and then if you could maybe arrange a time when you can leave them with yr partner or family for just over 30 minutes... ?

Check out the lost that IannodaTruffe has linked you too..maybe find a route near to home and give it a go?

We will all support you Loads of incredible Mamas on here

[Alallo]

You have a huge job: be mum, and not one, but two babies. Double work. They are still so small, that they need you 24 hours a day. they are the most important thing to worry about; laundry, dishes are secondary. Enjoy your time with them because although the days seem long, time goes quickly.

[ArcherJ]

Cut yourself some slack wonderful woman. Being a new mum of 1 let alone 2 is a lot to adjust to. Welcome to s whole new amazing world.

[An1mal]

Enjoy being a mum, housework will always be there, and as the kids get older then want and need you less, embrace the lack of motivation, it won’t always be like that, it’s bloody hard when they are so young! Rest whist you can, they will up and at everything soon then there will be no rest! X