I did not want to go for a run today. Why am I doing this? It's raining today, and the weather's going to deteriorate, so if I go today, then i'll have to do W5R3 on Friday when the weather will be even worse. It's boring running round the same housing estate but the nicer runs have busy roads to cross - you can wait for 90 seconds at traffic lights if the timings wrong. I joined a beginners running club for company - but it was cancelled the past two weeks and next week there are tube strikes planned, so it'll probably either be cancelled again or I won't be able to get there. Welcome to my Wednesday self-pity party.
But W5R2 was in my diary. Today. Why did I have to write the whole 9 weeks in my diary? Why?
At times like this I try and focus on those who would love to be in my shoes, but through no fault of their own and having been dealt one of life's horrible curveballs will never have the chance. Ever. Whilst I got changed, I thought about how lucky I was. The gremlins went silent, and off I went.
I miscalculated the 5 minute walk between the 8 minute runs - I had it in my mind it was 3 - and faced the second 8 minutes all uphill. When Laura cheerfully announced I had only done 4 minutes, a little voice whispered that at the top of the first hill I could turn left and continue on flat ground, rather than crossing over the road to continue up the next hill as planned. So I did. The voice lied - it was still uphill - but only just. I waited so long for Laura to tell me that the 8 minutes was up that I felt sure she would give a little laugh and tell me actually it had been 10 minutes. Or maybe 12. But no, it was just 8 minutes.
I feel this week I'm out there because I have to, not because I want to and I'm unable to see beyond the next run. It's an odd feeling, because as a returning runner, I know it's possible since I've done it before without a second thought.
So, although the run was a success, it didn't feel like the victory I thought it would. I guess the gremlins are still hanging around.
I need to plan a better route for Friday.