According to Strava, I did the second kilometre of this evening's run in 2 minutes 53 seconds.
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Of course I did, Strava. I've just been pretending to be a wheezy auld wifie all this time! I look forward to romping home in first place at parkrun from now on.
To be fair, we all have our off days. Why shouldn't Strava? Especially in this cold.