Somebody Please give me my mojo back.

[AaronR]

Hi everyone! Let me start by going back in time a bit! Back in Jan 2014, I was weighing in at nearly 22 stone. After looking at photos of myself and seeing how big I was, plus how unfit and generally horrid I felt, I decided to start C25K, with some calorie counting. The first few weeks were very hard indeed, but after a while I was in the zone, smashing out the runs week in week out, plus other excises on top, I was losing weight and felt great. After coming to a bit of a halt on the weight loss, and fed up with calorie counting I decided to just start eating better quality food but trusting my body more in terms of eating when I was hungry, and sort of whatever I wanted. The weight started falling off again, people at work couldn't believe it when I would tell them ive lost another 2lbs, even though I ate a kebab and chocolate at the weekend or whatever, and my weight dropped to 16 stone. I was the happiest and healthiest I had ever been. I then met a girl, she lived 45 mins away so I started to spend more time seeing her, developing out relationship, which obviously affecting my running, I dropped to 2 times a week, then one. When I moved in with her that was it, the running stopped. I had tried to get back into it, but things had changed, it felt different, harder, like I was forcing myself to do something I hated. Fast forward to now, we are married and very happy, but my weight has spiraled to 18 stone and I just feel awful. All my clothes now dont fit, I feel fat, unattractive and unhealthy, my sexual desire has disapeared and I just feel like I dont want anyone to see me. I started trying to run again back in August in the run up to the wedding, and even that was awful. My question is, how can I get back to where I was?? how can I get that motivation back! Should I start from scratch again? HELP!!!!!!

[Bluebirdrunner Graduate]

Oh Aaron, it sounds like you want to go running but are letting things block you.

I think I would start again, because following the c25k plan is fun and addictive. You have structure and motivation, plus it only takes up half an hour of your day. (whisper.. to start with). Plan to do this on your own, but if your wife shows an interest, maybe you could go out together. Maybe a park with a circular route so you can be near each other even if you run at different paces.

The first runs may feel short but you are rebuilding your stamina and confidence.. Go for it..it will make you a happier, healthier more confident person.

Let us know how you get on.

[AaronR]

Thanks for your reply. You are right, I am definitely letting things block me, even thinking that I dont have time to do it when I know I could make time. Part of it as well is getting my diet right. I absolutely love food, I cant stand low fat rubbish or having to calorie count, it literally makes me feel so miserable and cranky. I would probably do the running on my own as my wife has tried it but isn't really into it.

[Bluebirdrunner Graduate in reply to AaronR]

Liking food is a problem..its getting the balance right though and not eating more than you need. Easier said than done.

I know that once I have run I feel good and only want to put good things into my body. Plus you don't feel like you want to undo the effort of burning off calories by over eating. It might make you feel more in control in other areas of your life if you take control of your exercise regime. You know you can do it because you have done it before...

I bet once you get started your mood will begin to improve and life will feel better.

[useitorloseit Graduate in reply to AaronR]

I can relate a bit. I am on the IC at the moment and 'want' to get back out there, but am a bit worried that my mojo has done one and I don't want that to be the case.

Have you talked about this to your wife? I bet she would be supportive of you starting to run again and, yes, I think you should start right back at the beginning of C25K again. With the extra weight, your joints will need to adjust to the new activity again. As suggested by Jan above, I agree it would be great if you could BOTH do it, but I don't think you should fall out about it if she has no interest - whilst joint activities are great fun, some different hobbies are pretty healthy too, especially as your relationship grows a bit older and the first flush wears off (voice of experience there)!

The best advice I have for getting your motivation up again is to log into this forum every day - the folk here are so flipping positive it's scary!

I think your idea of eating healthily but not 'dieting' is the right way to go as diets are by the nature doomed to failure because at some point you reach a goal and they 'end' then the weight just comes back. A different healthy lifestyle is what is required. I did Weightwatchers 12 years ago and have mostly kept the weight off, but not because I'm counting points all the time, but because it taught me which foods are disproportionately calorie-laden and some completely full of wasted calories (i.e. booze, but I still partake!), so I can make more informed choices. I can also vouch for the current trend of a couple of 'fasting' days per week. It means that you can eat normally* for most of the time, but for me I keep it to about 600 cals ish on a fast day and then for some reason it helps me make better choices on the non fast days as I don't want to waste the good work I've done, if that makes sense.

*By normal I mean normal but sensible. If I eat 2 choc bars and a bag of crisps every day it is unlikely that a couple of fasting days is going to do much to help!

I hope you find the way to start looking after yourself again. And that your libido makes a welcome return, if only for the sake of your new wife!!

Good luck!

[Irish-John Graduate in reply to AaronR]

Have you checked out hypoglycemia Aaron? I used to feel like that about food until I was diagnosed with it and made a few changes. Haven't looked back since.

[AaronR]

Thanks guys! I think what I am most disappointed about is when I was running, I always told myself that it was part of my life and I will never go back to where I was, but now I am half way there I used to just get in the zone when I was running, I never really enjoyed it but I just got in the zone! With regards the eating, I just automatically made good food choices, I would have treats occasionally, or if I was really craving a chocolate bar, I would have one! And it just worked!

[poppypug Graduate]

HI Aaron

Yes I get this , totally . I lost a stone and a half with Slimming World earlier this year. I have been running since graduating from C25k in June 2014.

Maintaining a weight loss is hard ! Now and again, I can feel that little devil on my shoulder whispering in my ear, Ive just got to blot it out or else I would be back to eating 3 chocolate bars a day and all the other rubbish that I shoved down my throat for years , and I definitely do NOT want to go back to that time again !

I would suggest starting the programme again, once you get back out there again , hopefully it will give you the motivation that you need. Action precedes motivation , definitely.

Good Luck ! xxx

[Irish-John Graduate]

Your Mojo is behind the ominous front door of your dwelling place Aaron. You have to lace on the shoes of effort, don the clothes of aspiration, turn on the magic box containing within itself all things Laura, adjust the headband of endurance...and wield the mental sword named 'Gremlin Slayer'.

Or just suit up in your running gear and turn the door handle and see what happens then. It's not about perfection - its about attempting

[Zev1963 Graduate in reply to Irish-John]

Spot on Irish-John.

[poppypug Graduate]

Yes ! Excellent reply Irish-John ! xxx

[mfamilias Graduate]

1. Put on trainers and kit, 2. Step out of door with Laura, 3. Strap gremlins to chair in back of mind with TV remote in gob, 4. Get going. And once you've done that a few times, it'll click back into place. Oh, and ban the word "Diet" from your vocabulary, and replace it with "Eating healthily". Even hearing the word 'diet' is enough to depressed anyone. Now get yourself organised and start tomorrow!

[PippiRuns]

Aaron - I am glad to say, I have no idea what you are talking about My running mojo has taken over my life and it makes me feel happy, strong and beautiful. Go find that mojo, it is worth the effort!

[AaronR]

Thanks everyone! I have to do something, I am just getting bigger and bigger and feeling more and more unfit. I just have one of them bodies where if I don't exercise, my metabolism seems to almost stop!