OK. We have the stereotypical white van man. The ubiquitous builders. And I suppose in some areas, the "Ok yah" brigade. These dastardly folk can be known to spout forth rude comments to the ladies out running, despite the offending swine never once referring to their own ghastly, overweight, greasy existence.
It may be because I'm confident in my appearance, but I NEVER say anything negative to anyone out in the street. If anything I am the complete opposite. Whilst out walking the other day to look at the crowds and funsters around Twickenham Stadium on the opening day of the World Cup, Mrs Dan and I passed a chap putting a sign up outside his house. It was a roughly made affair - a cardboard box, opened up into a big square which he had nailed to a post. On the cardboard he had written - "Rugby Parking £15". How enterprising of him I thought. Earning a few quid for the use of his drive. I cheerily said to him "Eh mate! You should charge twenty!" to which he laughed his head off!
I DIDN'T say ; "£15 quid? You 'avin' a laugh mate?" or anything else in the negative arena. Why? Because I like to think I'm a nice person.
But I do get annoyed at being left out. Three times per week I take my well toned, slim and fit body out along the Thames clad in lycra and have NEVER ONCE had a heckle from a lady!! Where are all the lady van drivers smoking fags, leering at us chaps? Where are the lady builders in Hi Viz and big white helmets shouting things like "Oy oy savaloy! Nice arse!" or "Is that a canoe in your tights or are you just pleased to see me! Waaaahh haaahahaa!!! Goooooo'on my son!" ????
Actually, I jest. I would hate it. I once decided to take up pilates because my GP said it would be good for back. I joined a class locally, in Richmond and it turned out I was the only geezer there! Not one of the ladies talked to me over the 6 week period. I tried conversing with them (being a friendly chap don't you know) but they were too involved in their own sex to bother with me. I felt intimidated oddly. I then thought - "This is what women must feel like when they're amongst male dominated groups" - and it made me re assess things. How hard it must be for ladies in this situation. Of course there are stronger types who don't bat an eyelid at this sort of thing, but us sensitive types need a bit of lurrrrve!!! I wasn't getting any lurrrrve at the pilates group, so I left!
Then I took up running. BOOM!
But ladies, don't pay any attention to the wan***s who heckle. They're probably taking a drag on their fag as they're saying it, booking themselves an early ticket to their local A&E Heart Attack Ward! Where as YOU....YOU are doing summat. YOU are lengthening your life. YOU are getting healthier. YOUR bum is getting more pert (I've seen evidence). And your children will thank you when you're older because you'll still be around to enjoy their lives! You won't be the ones gasping for breath in a hospital bed because your 60 a day Players No. 10's have torn your lungs to shreds at aged 59!
So once again ladies, I take my hat off to you for getting out into the fresh air and doing something positive towards a better YOU. Keep doing it. I'm your biggest fan!!
See you by the Thames soon. I'll be the one with a bum like a peach, legs of steel and a big smile on my face!
Yer pal
Dan.
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