Thank you!

Thank you all so much for all your support and donations to my Race for Life page. I am in awe of the wonderful and kind response I have had from so very many of you.

And yes, I have run again. Encouraged by you guys and by my family almost booting me out of the door! I didn't think I wanted to but once I started I didn't want to stop. Thank goodness for rain and quiet country lanes. I felt like I could break in two halfway through the first run and had to stop unable to breathe, doubled over and crying my eyes out, only to find a row of sheep staring at me through the fence when I had recovered. One of those silly situations where you don't know whether to laugh or cry! But that was that. My second 10k for Derek. Followed by a 5k run and then the funeral.

It's very strange to wake up in an empty house and that was it for me. I needed to be out and I left home without rhyme or reason and just ran. I don't think I saw views at all. I could hear the birds singing and that was about it. I just ran. For 13.5k. My longest run ever. And today I did my first sub 30 min 5k. All for Derek. And I felt like he was with me every step of the way.

So, yes, I owe you all a very massive thank you! Without you I might not have taken that first step outside so soon, nor have realised how much I need it. So thank you all! xxx

37 Replies

  • What is the link to your justgiving page hilbean? Or do you have a code to text? Xx

  • Oh Hilly , bless your heart xxxx I just want to give you a massive hug xxxx

    Words just don't seem to be enough to tell you , but I am so glad that you found some kind of solace in your run. It must be soo hard for you at the moment, I just cannot begin to imagine the heartbreak you are experiencing.

    That was some run there Missus ! Derek was there with you every step of the way .

    Take care Hilly, lovely to hear from you and I send you all my love and best wishes xxx

  • My deepest sympathies Hilbean , was so sorry to hear your very sad news . there are no words I can say other than we are all with you Hil. xx

  • Aww sweetie ...! I wish I could come and keep you company for a bit. I can't imagine how awful it must be for you every day at the moment. Stay strong, cry when you need to (though try not to do it at the same time as running as your breathing will go all over the place!), and keep coming back here, because we're all here for you xxx

  • Oh my! I don't know whether to laugh or cry with you at the thought of those sheep staring at you! Derek would have been so proud of your recent accomplishments - a sub-30 5k! You must be running like the wind, Hil. Please take care you don't get injured, or you will lose the freedom to get out and run when you hurt. Your 5k at the end of May is going to be a doddle compared to what you're achieving now!

    I'm so glad you've got back in touch. Please don't be a stranger! Much love.

  • So sorry to hear your news. I've been reading your posts since I found this site; you have been so supportive and encouraging for others; we're all thinking of you now. Best wishes x

  • Hi Hilbean,

    I'd not seen your previous post until just now. I'm so very sorry to hear of your sad news. I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through right now, but I'm happy to see that running is helping you a little bit in some way at least.

    You have raised an incredible amount already on your Justgiving page - wow! Off to add my donation now as it's very close to my heart, too.

    Sending you loads of love - you are in my thoughts. xxx

  • Thank you xx

  • A big hats off to you, well done, now don't stop, channel your energy into it.

  • I am so glad to read that you managed to get out on a run. Hopefully the running will continue to offer you solace and support when you most need it. Sending you much love, support and best wishes xx

  • Hi hilbean, so sorry for your loss, there aren't really any it must be so hard. I will sponsor you tomorrow (when pay day comes!), all the very best and enjoy your running. Sending you a massive hug through t'internet and all the best xxx

  • Thank you xx

  • So sorry to hear of your loss. I hadn't seen the original post.

    Good to see you've been out for a run. Time to just lose yourself and think about running. I'm sure the sheep were cheering you on. I bet you spoke to them - admit it. I say good morning to my local pigs every run :)

    Keep in touch here and FB - there's always someone here if you need a chat.



  • Oh dear! Yes I have to admit it! And even under normal circumstances they usually get a cheery 'Morning girls' uttered in their general direction :) Probably wasn't quite so polite this time. More of a 'sooo... what're you all staring at then!'

  • Hey Hil, I was wondering how you were getting on. Such sad times Sweetie but you're doing so well. I cannot imagine your pain, but your spirit is shining through, strong and brave. Some cracking times and distances there. Derek would be so proud of you. Take care m'dear, be gentle with yourself and don't expect too much too soon. Keep posting when you you have a mind too: you have friends here who want to know how you're doing. Big hugs, Carrie xxx

  • Well done that WOOOOOMAN! It's a slow old process getting used to a huge emotional change but you'll get there - and it seems like the best to get there is to RUN THERE! Congratulations on that 13.5K! Cor blimey, that's incredible. I am WELL JEL!

  • Not sure how I missed your original post but I did, and I'm so sorry. I haven't a clue what to say other than I'm so sorry for your loss. Run Hilbean, run like the wind, Derek will be so proud. With much love, Steve xxx

  • Well done you. I'm doing same at the end of May, although don't know many people to sponsor me so open to that one. Such a great cause we all have someone who we know that has been touched by this. So well done on your run and also your personal best. Just getting back to running after my fall and I can't wait.

  • Bless you Baileyb! So many people, so sad, but I guess that's why a lot of us run for the cause.

    I didn't know you'd had a fall. Hope you weren't hurt too badly and are back on your feet and back to normal asap xx

  • Yes i fell whilst running on 5th March! Had just got to my weightwatchers goal weight and was trying to be clever by running to class, in the dark! Pavement went downwards and gravity took over. Rob and his westie (hubby) came and got me and it's only today I tried wk 1 of c25k again. Can't believe how bad it was. Knee still twinning but much better. Good job RFL is at the end of May, should be better by then. Doing my RFL at the same venue where rob did his trial park run! So that should be interesting. Any RFL running tips greatly appreciated and don't say don't fall over! Learnt that one the hard way.

  • Oh no! Easy done though. Gently gently does it then. At least your fitness levels won't have dropped too much if at all so it's just a matter of testing out that knee when you are able. Looks like I have some posts to catch up on too. I never did see how Rob's trial park run went! And I was particularly interested as I've always avoided them too :) RFL tips welcomed here too. I've walked it a couple of times, both times with pregnant daughters so it was more of a waddle for life and we came very near to being last both times! Didn't have many people to ask for sponsors then either but I figure it all helps :)

  • Robs post makes interesting reading, I won't spoil it for you

  • I've just read it. Really does make interesting reading. Still think it will be a while before I attempt one though :) Sounds like it might be worth you doing it though if that's the RFL course!

  • Hadn't seen your original post either - so sorry and my thoughts are with you. Linda xx

  • Just sponsored you my darling. You are such a brave lady. Sending huge hugs and lots of love. Xxxxx

  • So sorry, Hilbean. I'm glad you've been able to get out and I hope it helps. Take care xx

  • Wow I dream of the day I can say that I can do a sub 30 mins 5k. Now I want to encourage sensible eating with this running and at least a days rest in between. We don't want you wasting away.

    You are going to do your run in May easy peasy. Well done with your fundraising - we are all with you on this journey. I have been thinking of you am so please you got back in touch with us.

    My run today was a 37:02 i'm improving but it's just seconds off at a time. No sheep on my run. Just dog walkers.

  • I really didn't expect it this morning so it came as quite a surprise. Those seconds do add up over time so keep dreaming. As they say, dreams can come true :)

  • So good to hear from you, and I dearly hope you continue to find some comfort and outlet for your grief in your running.

    Run like the wind Hilly, we are all with you in spirit. X

  • Bless you. I'm sure Derek was with you all the way. xx

  • Holbein I am just catching up on your touching story and a lump is in my throat. I did the race for life last year for a dear friend who passed away but I have no idea how you coped running in it again after the loss of Derek. You have shown great spirit and determination and you deserve lots of donations. Sounds like Derek is quite the coach by the results of your last 5k and that epic 13.5k! Xx

  • Thankyou for sharing, sending a big hug and a huge well done on what you've achieved.... Xx

  • It is lovely to hear from you and great to hear that you have been running. Keep posting as this community needs you and your words of wisdom. Hopefully you will find some support and comfort from the other wise owls / your friends on here too.

  • wow, you're doing so well, Derek would have been so proud of you and be on your shoulder willing you to keep on going. Glad you are sticking with it and using running as a form of therapy. look at what you've achieved, and that fantastic total on your just giving page-brilliant

    13.5k is amazing.

    just learnt tonight that a friend from a group i used to attend has passed away, shockingly fast, can't believe it really , so quick after diagnosis. Also my Aunty in January, both from cancer... both such lovely ladies and far too young x

  • I have been amazed. Or perhaps gobsmacked would be more accurate!

    I'm so sorry to hear about your friend and your Aunty. It seems that none of us are untouched by this awful disease in some shape or form. While my husband is obviously in my heart and mind for my RFL I will be running for anyone affected by cancer with the hope that we can improve things for future generations too xx

  • its nice to realise how much people care on this forum about each other, i've made some lovely friends on here. We're all here to support each other.

    I've known so many people affected lately, its shocking. My cousin has been so brave and is doing RFL too and busy training, she is dedicating it to her mam and anyone else affected (similarly to you.)

    take care hilbean

    love Ali x

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