7K IN YOUR FACE!

Fuelled entirely by wine fumes and two regrettable raspberry cosmopolitan cocktails, this morning I taped up my foot, threw on the lycra and ventured forth into the icy cold London air. It was sunny but I'd wished I'd worn a second top because it was flippin' brass monkeys out there.

I nearly didn't go. Having awoken at 10 feeling like someone had wrung me out like a J cloth, the thought of running in a straight line wasn't entirely appealing. However once I'd gone through the run in my head and knew that once finished, I'd feel A - MAY - ZIINNNG, I hauled my ass out of my pit and did some gentle, middle aged man stretching. Swallowed some cranberry juice, chewed a few dried apricots and I was OFF!

I wanted to try and not have any walk breaks. Not to be stubborn or anything, but just because I wanted to complete a "non stop run" - something that has eluded me since coming back from injury. So I set off slow. Amazingly, my hangover evaporated in the cold morning air as I breathed in the early spring aromas of damp earth. This was feeling good. Took a wee break for the traffic lights to change at Richmond Bridge, then I was off again. I could hear each kilometre being announced from my phone which was squeezed in to the tiny space in my running tights back pocket. I kept thinking of Irish podiatrist Tess telling me not to take too long a stride. Also to keep my gait a wee bit feckin' wider than I am used to. It seemed to work. I don't think I applied the tape to my right foot properly though cos it felt different to how she had done it. (I since have YouTubed how to tape your foot. Sorted.) Despite the lack of secure foot hold feeling, I was travelling well.

Before long, 5K was announced from my bum pocket and I looked ahead towards Richmond Bridge once again, though this time from the opposite direction. On the ground ahead of me lay a body. It lay still and my blood ran a bit cold for a few seconds.

"OH SH*T! Is he/she alright?" I said to myself.

I started thinking that I'd have to stop running and call an ambulance, or start shouting "HELP!", or worse, give mouth to mouth to a stranger who might well be a tee totaller and the last thing they needed was a hungover sweating man lean over them, filling their airways with Merlot Fumes!

I got closer and suddenly saw a camera lens poking out of the body towards the river. Then I looked to the river and saw a couple, in a rowing boat, held in a kissing pose. They held the pose for long enough for me to realise that the dead body was in fact a photographer lady, taking some shots for the couples "engagement" album. The corpse yelled out - "Oh that's great! Yah! Super. Yah! Great! Now swap over?"

Thank GOD! It was alive. I ran past relieved. Eventually I heard my bum speak to me - "7 kilometres. Last lap 5'42." I stopped running and breathing heavily walked slowly home. I had done it - non stop. My confidence was getting stronger with the knowledge that I could run 7 without dying. 40 minutes was the time and the 5K portion was 28'32. My gammy leg seems to be settled and I experienced no groin pain. My back muscles are now 100% recovered and felt strong and fine. No twinges whatsoever.

SO......next weeks 10K Richmond Riverside run should be fine. I'm gonna take it easy I think and hope I get a decent time. But I'll have a couple of runs in the week just to keep me ticking over so to speak.

Until we meet again!

Yer pal

Dan.

28 Replies

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  • That's fab news, glad no dead bodies stopped you from running that would just be annoying just as your getting into your stride ;) I have a run next week and hoping it will cool, still hiding in the gym. So enjoy those cool temps!

  • I know. There's nothing worse than a corpse lying exactly where you want to run!

    Well jel of CHile's weather!

  • It has a great weather but there has been a dramatic change over the last 15years. It has "rained" 12 times in a whole year. Everyday is sunny. Perfect for runners

  • Glad you're feeling stronger, and that you didn't have to break your stride to give mouth to mouth! Good luck for the run next week.

  • Thanks UR.

  • Haha! Hilair!

  • Yah, Sweetie! Fab run! (Must practice saying 'Yah'! 'Super!')

    Isn't it great that the running seems to be going well?! I'm really pleased for you!

  • Why thank you FB. Totes fab. Yah.

  • Yeah baby ! Dan, you have surpassed yourself with those tags ! They've got to be your best ever !

    Well done on a cheeky 7k ! :-D xxx

  • If you knew how long it takes to make them stand out, you'd faint!

    Thank you!

  • Love it. What a wonderfully colourful picture you paint of this run. Glad to hear there was no pain - that's positive.

    It's has made me smile and chuckle.

    I think I might look for dead bodies now. The only thing I've found on my runs is a pile of men's clothes including what looked like under garments. I wondered why they might be there. My thoughts were it was some sort of argument and girlfriend or boyfriend chucked them out in a fit of temper. Maybe I should look under the pile see what lurks under it.

    Until the next run ......

    Looking forward to your next run Dan.

  • NEVER EVER touch suspect looking undercrackers. It can only lead you down a path of terror.....

  • Lots of laughter. Brilliant. Point taken. Poke only with stick then.

  • "Photo of the kissing couple in a boat for their engagement album"

    A little bit of sick just came up my throat.

    Did you not feel compelled to stop and shout "Don't do it! It's not too late to back out now!" at the poor unfortunates?

    Seriously, wouldn't just the words 'engagement album' be enough for you to take a vow of celibacy and join holy orders?

  • Chuckle.

  • Ooooh what cynicism Rignold! I didn't mention the swans that were swimming around them, nor the out of work actors dressed as mermaids, coo'ing from the river bank. Also forgot to mention the dirigible that flew overhead dropping ten thousand rose petals onto the "lurrrve scene". You'd have LOVED IT! ;-)

  • Now stop it all of you, I keep chortling and my husband is looking suspicious!! However, he'd agree with you all about the staged photos for the engagement albums. Buckets all round, I think!!!

  • So it's not everyday I get engaged - humph! :)

  • I was one of the mermaids ! :-D xxx

  • Excellent to hear your back on form Mr Dan! I have been lurking in the background chuckling at your misadventures (the deep tissue massage had me crying with laughter) let's hope that's your injury period over xxxx keep panthering!

  • Lurking in the background? You wanna watch that. Especially these days!

  • ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • I thought precisely the same thing Rig! A lifetime of album opportunities awaits the poor chap. Although maybe it was his idea.

    Well done on getting your running legs back on Dan. Relief that your back is better too. Phew!

  • Great news Dan. Your physio and podiatrist bills may have made your eyes water nearly as much as the massage did, but it was obviously worth every penny. Enjoy your post-run (hopefuly painfree) afterglow. :)

  • thanks AM.

  • ooh, that engagement pose DOES sound a bit sickly!

    I'm forever looking at stuff when i'm driving along (stressing!)thinking its a rabbit/bird only to find its a bit of rubbish or twig cunningly disguised, haven't seen much like that out running yet though, will keep my eyes peeled!

    well done on that last k, great pace, glad all is well with your legs/groin/feet! :)

    Get you with your cocktails, i'm off to a cocktail do next friday, for my friend"Pink Jeni's" 50th, with pink cocktails and everyone wearing a splash of pink!(she LOVES pink(hence the name not her skin tone!), i don't, but should be good anyway!!) :)

  • Sounds like it's gonna be a BLAST!!

    Thanks Aliboo

  • Well done Dan - great run, great post!

    I also ran with a hangover today.. and managed my longest ever run :-) That being 8.23k :-). So I'm well on my way to the 10k mark :-) :-)

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