A very happy Sunday to ye all!

It's a very strange day today weather wise. Rainy and windy this morning which changed into sunny and windy, then rain and wind again. Almost as windy as Edwina Currie in the jungle!

My week of runs went a bit like this.......Tuesday at 6.30am I was feeling ready for it. Despite the bitterly cold weather and the grim darkness, I gritted my teeth and ran along main roads which were brightly lit - just in case there was an axe murderer waiting in the dark shadows of Old Deer Park! It was a successful run,covering 6.5K but on my return to the house I realised that something was amiss. What WERE those brown blobby marks on the carpet? Ohhhh noooooooo!!!!!!! DOG S*IT! Usually I'm pretty lucky when it comes to avoiding dog dung, but these dark mornings make it tricky to negotiate such foul doggy deposits. My main fear was what Mrs Dan would say (she's mighty house proud), so I carried the offending running shoes downstairs to the garden where I brushed off the nose tingling muck. Then I got a bowl of warm water and liberated a J Cloth from the kitchen drawer. I managed to clean the carpet splodge marks without too much trouble and hoped that Mrs Dan wouldn't even notice! Tallulah the cat was most put out at the aroma of something foreign in her house. I hoped she'd keep her trap shut and not give me away to a sleeping Mrs Dan! So after that little episode, I showered, breakfasted and scootered to work.....

Thursday's run was similar distance. Again, I tonked along the brightly lit main roads and luckily on this trip there were no incidents with canine excretions.

Todays run was reeeally hard though. I decided to do my usual 7K Thames path run which I absolutely love and I set off at 11am after the rain had abated. I was like a leaden hippopotamus today, dragging my legs along, feeling tired after 1K and thinking I'd never complete the full 7. Reached Richmond Bridge and took a welcome rest while I waited for the lights to change at the pedestrian crossing. Then I was off again.

Got to 3K and then took another short walk break as I made my loop round to run back home. Set off again and told my self to lift my legs up. "come on Dan! Lift those legs up!" I did exactly that and you know what? It propelled me forward faster. I started to increase speed and suddenly the "effort" wasn't as hard as it was prior to. I was at 5K, then 6K pretty quickly but slowed up massively on the last K. I fished my phone out of my pocket to check my distance - 7.5K?? Odd. It's usually exactly 7......

On checking my performance on Endomondo when I logged online, I was aghast to learn that I'd got SIX PB'S. But dear reader, twas not not be......The GPS had taken drugs at some point and was out of it's box on happy pills. It informed me that I'd managed to "Do a Jesus" and walk on water - TWICE - on my run along the Thames. According to the drugged out Endomondo, I'd done a 4 minute mile - "yeah right!" I said. One of my K's was 3'19 and the 5K was done in 24'21! Who the hell does Endomondo think I am??? Aftabs????

Clearly Endomondo's hallucinations were not only a tad off - they were WAY OFF! But who cares. I managed to complete the run and got home to have a beautiful bowl of warming homemade soup. I'm going to foam roller my buttocks later as they're feeling a tad tight, and my thighs feel heavy too so a good sesh on my very manly bright pink foam roller should sort that out!

So there you have it! My running week. I hope you all had terrific runs this week and weekend. Here's to next week! Tally ho all!


PS. Mrs Dan never did find out about "Dog Sh*t Gate". I got away with it. Cost me a few "Dreamies" for Tallulah to keep her quiet, but it was worth it!

25 Replies

  • what a beautiful running week...apart from the SH**. I HATE DOGS for that reason, I had to dodge about 6 turds today, and they were the ones that when the dog starts his poo, owner drags him off and you end up with a trail. It takes ages to get the stink out so well done on your cleaning. Have fun rolling your buttocks ;) A brilliant blog as always....

  • Thanks Jooj. Buttocks already feeling alive again.

  • In France it's supposed to be good luck, stepping in merde de chien, n'est-ce pas?

  • There wasn't anything lucky about the state of the carpet I can tell you!!

  • Your old cat sounded like a Prince! Wish Oscar would do that instead of deciding to baptise the dining room floor sometimes.....

  • Ha ha FAB post Dan, bribing Talluah to keep schtum ha ha :-) Walking on water too- its a miracle :-)

    I always clean up after my pugs, it is a real bug bear of mine when owners don't clean up after their dogs .

    I went to Calais once and I couldn't get over how dirty the streets were. There was dog muck EVERYWHERE , it was disgusting. There was even a pile of it on top of a street bollard ! How a dog managed to do that I don't know, it was bizarre !!!

    Hope you and your foam roller have a good time

    Have a good week :-) xxx

  • Hi Pops! Thanks for reading and posting. I once worked in Paris on a terrible TV film and was based in the beautiful square, the Place Des Voges......which was COVERED every day in dog whoopsies! Revolting.

  • Sounds like a great week in the Dan household - doggy poo excepted.

    Just look at your tags for this post Dan. Very exciting life you lead!! Could make a TV series out of it! :-)

  • The tags are a triumph aren't they?!

  • Fab post. Please don't hate dogs just because they poo....it's their crap owners that don't pick up. Horrid to tread in it. Glad you had another good week

    (If I can pick up after 12 dogs a day, anybody can. I often think I'm a paid poo picker rather than a dog walker :) )

    Have a great week xx

  • Fear not! I love dogs and all animals. Their "deposits" are only natural. Thanks for reading!

  • Absolutely! I love your posts. They just make me smile :) I'm a bit of an animal fanatic too

  • Oh you do make me laugh. I can just imagine my reaction if OH walked doggy doo across the carpet. I nearly killed him when he came home from the allotment and walked horse poo across the kitchen floor. Almost as bad as when he collected said horse poo from the local stables in my car!!!! A great week's running. I'll try your tip of lifting my legs more next run :)

  • He collected DUNG in your CAR?????? Blimey......is he still with us?

  • Hahaha :D that's what you get if you marry someone who was brought up on a farm. 4 bags of well rotted horse manure in the back of your Toyota Yaris.

  • Ha ha. I was almost sick with laughing reading that Dan. I can imagine you trying desperately to clean up the doggy doins before your wife got up. I can imagine your horror when you realised you brought it into the house! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!

  • It was horrendous, but I got away with it........

  • Well done Dan, and glad to hear you still like hounds despite the trouble! just hopre your wife doesn't read this post though! :)

  • Don;t worry Ali. I think I'm in the clear.....

  • Great read Dan :).

    I like the look of dogs but don't like to be anywhere close to them.. and as for bad smells - simply can't cope with them - how on earth I managed to bring up two boys I'll never know! Back to the dog poo, I can't even stand the smell after it's been cleaned up.. so no chance of ever being a dog owner.

    You do some fab runs and clearly enjoy your running and I know I'm amongst the many who enjoy your tales - thank you.

    :) xx

  • Thank you PA. Appreciate that.

  • Great blog...ROFLMAO!

  • Hahaha! Thanks GB.

  • Love the post, It's amazing what you can do with a bag of dreamies lol.

  • They are our secret weapon......ours go MAD when they even hear the bag move...

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