I have just returned from a MASSIVE calorific dim sum lunch with an industry contact - (just doing a bit of networking to try and stir up some work) and now my body is saying "DAN! Get the hell out there and run off some of them thar calories, you dim sum eating, pork bun chewing tub of lard you!"

Alas, I can't. Because I'm still get over my torture session I had Monday with my physio chap. I've got this nagging shin pain so I thought I'd bite the bullet and splash out on Mr Physio to check me over, He duly turned up and set up his portable bed contraption in my dining room. Mrs Dan took a front row seat, looking forward to hearing my squeals of agony, which were to almost shatter the bulbs in the chandelier!

He said it was shin splints, but mainly my calves were very tight and I needed to do some more strengthening work on my hips, because I was putting too much wallop on my calves when running. Anyway, as he was chatting he found a knot in my calf - "JEEEEEEEEEEZ CHRRRIIIIISTTMAS!" I yelled. Mrs Dan was loving this! "Oooh, have you found a knot?" - "Yes" said Mr Physio. "I'll have to work those out. Brace yourself Dan!"

"MOOOOON RIIVVVERRRRRR!" I sang. I try and sing when I'm in total agony as it's (a) more polite than swearing and (b) I didn't want to appear a total wuss. Mr Physio found KNOT #2.

"FLY MEEEE TOOO THE MOOOONNNN" which was closely and unavoidably followed by a string of fruity swear words. Lot's of "F's" and "B's" and "JC's" etc etc. This was killing me. Mrs Dan who is also a trained masseur (but not sports) was fascinated and I could hear them talking about muscles and sinews and weird Latin'y type names of things, as my head was pressed firmly in the beds face hole. "Can I have a go?" said Mrs Dan. Mr Physio showed her what and where to press and how hard, as I was lying there singing away - "AINT NO MOUNTAIN HIGHHHHHH ENOUGHHHHHHH!!!' AAAAAGGHHHHH!!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUU*******!"

After Mrs Dan had been tutored in the art of Husband Torture, Mr Physio asked me to turn over as he worked on the front of my legs. The pain was easing - due to the blood flow around the knotted areas and I could now stop singing in agony. Amazingly, as is always the case, I jumped off the bed and felt pretty damned good. Ready for a MASSIVE glass of wine, but nevertheless, good. He told me to not run for two or three days as my leg would hurt like hell the following day. Yeah, cheers for that!

So I woke up this morning and went for a walk along the Thames. I'm not sure I can run yet, so may give it another day. I did try a mini jog to the bus stop when I was coming home from Soho in London, but Mr Leg wasn't ready for it. Ah well.

That dim sum lunch will have to wait until I can work off those excess calories.

Happy running folks!

21 Replies

  • LOL, what more can I say? - you are bonkers!

    Take care of yourself though! :)

  • Have only just got around to replying to everyone! Thanks for your comments Beek. Bonkers, but with a heart of gold!

  • Very true! You know we all love you on here :) :)

  • I must be getting senile I read 'stiring my wok' and thought my goodness our Dan is a man of many talents ;) Oh crikey Dan you never fail to bring this site to a standstill, well who would go for a run when they can read your blogs!?! On a serious note, Mrs Dan should not have allowed you wine after your massage, water is the drink you have had to help the heeling process - sadly :( Hope things settle down again soon for you.

  • Thanks OG. I know I should've stayed off the vino.......but I figured I'd earned it! Legs feeling more like their old selves now, so no more torture sessions for a while at least,.

  • Lol! Keep posting. I've worked off calories from mum's home cooked dinner laughing :-) at this rate, I won't need to go out for a run either :-)

  • Fabulous as always. When's the book coming out Dan, you have a eager public always wanting more! :)

  • Hahaha!! Everyone is so kind about my posts. Perhaps a new career beckons?....

  • God yes ! U must , repeat , must write a bloody book dan Lycra man .

  • Not you as well! Hahaha!!

  • Your jacuzzi would help your limbs too. I think I would have howled like a fox if I was being massaged like that.

  • Another great and amuzing post. I read while sneezing and spluttering with my darn cold! :-D

  • I wish I was a publisher I would want you to write a running guide/memoir :)

  • How incredibly sweet of you to say! Thanks Kags44

  • Good post, and your collection will already be the foundations of a great read. I keep thinking of the sports massage/ Physio route for manipulation but just cannot get my head around the stranger/touchy bit! Crazy because I know both my hubby and I would benefit from a professional treatment. Maybe need to loosen up in more ways!! Hope you are running soon.

  • It's definitely worth doing because they reach the parts you never knew existed.

  • Brilliant. Really liked your post, even my husbaned loved it as he is a sports masseur. hope you will be out soon, singing.

  • Merci Renette.

  • I love dim sum...don't feel guilty, food is good!!! ...and blimey that therapy sounds a bit too hardcore for my liking!! I think I would rather run with the pain till it disappears that way!!! Hope Mr leg is better?

  • Dim sum is the best! Mr Leg went out for a run today and seems better......(he said hesitantly)

  • Titles suggestions for Dan's book:-

    Dan's running bloomers in lycra :) I love Dim Sum too.

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