C25K – The Musical! (Or: Sofa, Sogood)

[Pugwash]

I'm just back from the annual cultural binge that is the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Luckily, I was able to moor the Black Pig alongside near to Cramond sea front (home of Auld Reekie's Parkrun) and so keep to my programme. It's W5R3 next.

Rubbing shoulders with all of those luvvies gave me and idea – why don't we put a show on here, now?! C'mon kids, we can save the youth club from demolition by dastardly Robert Morley (it was always Robert Morley)!!

Scene One

The stage is bare except for a settee illuminated by a single light on which are sat Aussie and Misswobble. A fanfare is followed by a rhythmic chugging music that gradually transforms into the strains of “Top Hat and Tails”. A & M rise, look at each other, step forward and begin to sing whilst they run on the spot in an ever so slightly camp fashion (sorry Aussie, but hey, this IS the biz we call show!):

We're pullin' on our Lycra,

Puttin' on corn plasters

Prayin' not to fail.

We're fiddlin' with our iPods

Dreading Laura's music

Trying not to wail.

We're stepping out my chums

To breathe an atmosphere

We really hope is grass

And we trust that you'll excuse our dust

When we release some gas.

For we'll be there

Glowin 'cause we want to

Dodgin' round the dog poo

A blur out on the trail.

We're pullin' on our Lycra,

Puttin' on corn plasters

Prayin' not to fail.

Riotous applause greets this opening number (natch) and when that dies down, well, what?

Where to take the plot next? What roles would suit some of the personalities on here? What mangled songs can we shoe horn in? Should it be kitchen sink or sequin city? You decide... you know you want to

[poppypug Graduate]

Ha ha Ahoy Pugwash , brilliant !

I will have to think about this one. Oh I love the theatre and musicals. The smell of the crowd , the roar of the greasepaint and all that, right up my cul de sac .

I will now go recline on my chaise longue whilst wearing my chiffon full length evening gown with my velveteen slippers and have a think , fab ! xxx

[Pugwash Graduate in reply to poppypug]

Like the cut of your jib Poppypug... you're obviously in the "Sequin City" camp :-).

[poppypug Graduate in reply to Pugwash]

Yah, absolutely dahling, Im ready for my close up now Mr De Mille xxx

[misswobble Graduate]

I absolutely lurv Fred Astaire dahling. I'm stepping out my dear to breathe an atmosphere that simply reeks of class, tra la la, tum ti tum

I'll be in my dressing room if anyone needs me. Peel me a grape Aussie, there's a luv

I naturally lean towards sequins and glitter rather than kitchen sink. Not much of a reality tv fan, and don't get me started on Eastenders pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease. Flounces off stage left

[Pugwash Graduate in reply to misswobble]

Oh gawd, just two responses in and we've already got some heavy flouncing :-). Still, good to know you're keeping your eye on your five a day.

If you're peeling grapes for Misswobble Aussie, could you be a luv and do me a couple too? Thanks heartface.

[spoonierunning Graduate]

Love it.

Miles_Yonder needs to be in it with his banana man outfit lol

[poppypug Graduate in reply to spoonierunning]

Ha ha, Oh Miles would have been a perfect Clark Gable if he still had his tache ha ha xxx

[Pugwash Graduate in reply to poppypug]

Clark Gable famously had wooden false teeth. Any news on the composition of MilesYonder's dentition? Might be a "Mack the Knife" parody in it

[poppypug Graduate in reply to Pugwash]

Really ? How bizarre ! Ha ha , I wonder where he put them when he took them out when we went to bed ? Obviously not in a glass filled with denture cleaner , maybe in the peg basket do you think ? xxx

[spoonierunning Graduate]

Ooh and there has to be a dance number lament about garmins and the difficulty to choose

[Pugwash Graduate in reply to spoonierunning]

You say the pink one, I say the green one

You say the "10" one, I say the big one,

Pink one, green one, 10 one, big one,

Who's got a brand new watch?!

[spoonierunning Graduate in reply to Pugwash]

Don't for get purple

[misswobble Graduate]

Oh yeah, well done Spoons.

Miss Garmin, that infamous femme fatale, that makes grown men a riot of indecision

[poppypug Graduate]

" She's got Bette Davies eyes ".... Oh Bette and Joan, they absolutely detested each other in real life apparently, both excellent actresses, oh and Barbara Stanwyck... oh look what you've done Pugwash ! I have been transported back to the Golden Age of Cinema xxx

[poppypug Graduate]

Laura would have to be the leading female , I think , she can be like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. I can be the Wicked Witch of the West, " I'll get you my pretty, and your little dawg too xxx

[poppypug Graduate]

" For summer nights with moon and stars above

A serenade I long to sing you

The reddest nose , I always bring you

Save your love for Roma and for me-eeeeeeeeeeeeeee "

Ha ha , in yer face R & R xxxx

[poppypug Graduate]

Ha ha right back atcha xxx

[Fitfor60 Graduate]

Ah wish I had known you were here . I was running at Cramond this morning in the rain . Hope you enjoyed your visit even if weather has not been the best

[Pugwash Graduate in reply to Fitfor60]

You have a lovely spot to run in there Fitfor60 - the ever changing vista keeps the boredom at bay, although those prevailing westerlies whipping off of the water straight in to the ol' physog make the run home... er... bracing :-).

[helenbones Graduate]

Wonderful! There has to be a scene with Greased Lightning with the boys all lycrad up and Summer Running (happened so fast ....) as a whole cast thing.

Me? I cant sing so will do props or something

[Pugwash Graduate in reply to helenbones]

Ah, Helenbones - not the old "I can't sing" dodge, surely? We'll have to dream up one of those Rex Harrison/Telly Savalas/William Shatner (sorry, can't think of any female equivalents right now) "talky-sing" numbers for you. Keep talking, wear something shiny, move about a lot and no-one will know!

[helenbones Graduate in reply to Pugwash]

just think of the screechy high note of summer nights (running tights?) - starting to sound like cockney rhyming slang

[poppypug Graduate in reply to helenbones]

Oh yeah fab !! That's a good 'un ! We can be the Pink Ladies, Helen , you can be Rizzo ha ha xxx

[helenbones Graduate in reply to poppypug]

well I am definitely pink (more like beetroot) when I run!

[Pugwash Graduate in reply to helenbones]

That's a GOOD beetroot though eh?

[Hidden]

Ahaha too funny. Some gear discussions and gait analysis to be included as well

[Hidden]

Oh, and a Dame with a sports bra....

[Pugwash Graduate in reply to Hidden]

Don't think I should go there Henpen. When I was last embroiled in a sports bra related matter it led to all sorts of explaining and burns to both feet...

[Hidden in reply to Pugwash]

I am agog ! I can't even begin to imagine what you were up to....

[Hidden]

And the dastardly German villain Herr Shins Plints...

[poppypug Graduate in reply to Hidden]

Ha ha good one Curly I like it !!! xxx

[Pugwash Graduate in reply to Hidden]

Ivor and Herr Plints will definitely pass the auditions

[poppypug Graduate]

Oh and the famous Count, Ivor Got Adamnstitch xxx

[Janglyshe Graduate]

Yellow brick road and all the running shoes in wonderful colours...

[Pugwash Graduate in reply to Janglyshe]

Hmmm...gives me an idea for a Cinderellaesque scene...

[cathryn14 Graduate]

The Edinburgh show this week has been Singing (Running) in the Rain; but what a Glorious Feeling you must have nearly on week 6 already! Where has all the balmy weather gone? I would prefer the South Pacific weather we had in June!

[Pugwash Graduate]

Singing "The Desert Song" would just rub saltire in then Cathryn? Altogether now - "The sun'll come up tomorra, bet your bottom dollar that tomorra there'll be sun". My knowledge of the world of West End musicals is starting to damage my credibility down at the Cage Fighting Club.

How did today's Parkrun go for you? Us nascent week-sixers can only dream of such glamour fixtures... for now ;-).

[Pugwash Graduate]

Good enough for me. Cameron? Cameron?! Can someone get hold of Mr Mackintosh and ask him if KittyKat passes muster, there's a poppet..

[AncientMum Graduate]

Hahahahah How did I miss this thread??? Oh man, I've laughed so much I've spilt my tea, choked on me toast and frightened the cat. Many many years ago I got a silver medal (well silver coloured plastic) for tap dancing. Please can we have a big tap dancing number. I wouldn't want to offend MissW by barging in on her top hat and tails number with Aussie but maybe a quick chorus of "I'm Running in the Rain", complete with splashing in puddles and dancing round lamp posts (no scrub that last one - don't want people to think I'm into pole dancing!)

[Pugwash Graduate in reply to AncientMum]

Crikey - a confession of a bona fide talent amongst our cast of hopefuls (albeit one needing a little dust off)! I can see the starburst insert on the show poster now - "...and featuring silverette placky medal winning tap dancing from the rhythm machine that is Ancient Mum!".

Eat your heart out Wayne Sleep :-).

[AncientMum Graduate in reply to Pugwash]

Hahahahah Can still manage a quick 'shuffle ball change' with the best of 'em.

[poppypug Graduate in reply to AncientMum]

Blimey, EM , I doff my cap , fair play to you You can play the violin and tap dance ? I bet you do them both at the same time as well don't you ?

That's proper Bo Selecta that is xxx

[AncientMum Graduate in reply to poppypug]

Teehee My tap dancing exploits were back in the mid 80s when everyone was into dancing, leotards, headbands and leg warmers -That Irene Cara has a lot to answer for! Simultaneous tap dancing and violin playing? Now there's a thought......... Lol

[poppypug Graduate in reply to AncientMum]

Oh, I loved Fame, " Fame ! Im gonna live forever , Im gonna learn how to fly, (high ) " Kicks leg warmer clad leg up

I loved it where that teacher said " You want fame ? Right, well fame costs and right here is where you start paying .... in sweat " Bit like here really ha ha

Also, they would all be having their meal in the dining hall, then all of a sudden, they would just burst into song, then jump on the tables and go into their dance routines , Fabulous ! That happens every mealtime at Chez Pug ha ha xxx

[AncientMum Graduate in reply to poppypug]

Tis true, we're constantly bursting into song at the dinner table too! xxx