I have literally just completed W3R1. So literally in fact that I'm sitting typing this with my left foot plunged in to a mop bucket full of iced water.
I really didn't want to go tonight and made up all sorts of "reasons" not to including the fact that I had been to see the physio this morning for my Achilles pain but, despite money changing hands she still did not issue a note excusing me Pee Hee. So I slobbed/struggled around the session until the final 3 minuter, which, to my surprise, seemed to be over in no time. However, I'm not fooling myself, I am NOT fitter than I think...
Me: Hello dragons, my name is Captain Pugwash and I'm here tonight to ask for your almost certain disdain and approbrium regarding this great idea I've had called "Eat the Beats".
Duncan B: Great, free food! You can take the Glaswegian oot ee Glasgee, but ye cannae...
Me: No, it's a piece of software. What it does is convert any music you like in to a preferred BPM rhythm. It solves "Laura's Lousy Music Syndrome" at a stroke.
Deborah Meaden (through a gimlet eye): How much have you invested in this so far?
Me: Nearly all of the second half of tonight's C25K run.
DM: No Cash yet then?
Me: I'm not daft. Neither am I a software engineer. To be honest Deborah, I thought my outfit would give it away; I'm an 18th century pirate. Do you really think I'm in a position to do programming? It's as much as I can do to keep my double entendre named crew under control... me hearties.
DM: This has just descended from tragedy in to pantomime. I like to make a big song and dance about my morals at any opportunity, and so, despite having been on Strictly - did I already mention that? - and absolutely loving that hornpipe groove of yours, I will have nothing to do with piracy. I'm out. (Purses her lips and looks sideways at that lanky bloke who always sits at the end).
Lanky Bloke: Ever heard of Jessops? That's mine that is. And Levi Roots. I own all of him too. I'm great!
DB: Ahm oot. Doon tae mae jet black roots. Doon tae every plug of mae transplant. Oot, oot, oot.
MORAL OF THIS TALE: If you want to know if a piece of software exists that cn change the BPM of existing music as an aid to runner, ask the C25K crew, not the dragons. Any ideas anyone?