“NO ADMITTANCE EXCEPT ON PARTY BUSINESS.”

[dozzer19]

(Friday) Posts came asking for the triathlon rundown - here we go then.

For luck I wore my best red on red running shirt and black trousers. Even though I set off early it was an even greater red effect than usual due to the heat. No dogs or owners with stick-y things seen; no snide physiotherapists; no confused child saying to his mother, 'Is that a jogger?'. Not an amazing run though, should have stuck to favourite. Discipline 1 complete.

Following the onion incident I took Mr Next-door's bike out for discipline 2. Chose my king of the mountain outfit for that one and squashed quiff into helmet. Not fantastic in the show of sporting prowess when I lost balance getting on and have cog patterned cuts all round right calf. Zigzagged along the local roads putting all in danger. Did succeed in full right-turn manoeuvre including hand signals on two occasions but spent some time on local pavements for safety of other road users. Covered further ground than I expected and went up a much steeper hill than I had dreamed possible. Other than the cog injury the only other problem I had was ending up in a cul-de-sac. Have medical shakes and balance very poor so instead of succeeding in a full circle to get out I managed about 270 degrees and rammed the kerb head on. Hope I haven't damaged front wheel rim. I did complete the full 30 mins without hurting anyone other than myself though which is what matters. Cleaning the dried on blood from my cog cuts hurt. Have five impressively deep gouges to show for my endeavours. The quiff returned to its usual supremely coiffed style after the bike helmet disaster. Discipline 2 complete.

The pool. What else could I wear for my favoured section of the event other than the red, crocheted onesie so generously gifted by Captain poppypug (ents and haberdashery div triathlete). The pool was busy but all moved either side of me as I passed. Obv they had noticed my determination as I scythed through the water. Or maybe it was the effect of the wash. Swam for the requisite time avoiding medium swimmers in slow lane and slow swimmers in medium. At one point I overtook someone in the fast lane on the other side of the cordon. Discipline 3 over! Then I paddled off to the shallow end to do some star floats to congratulate myself on this year's amazing journey to exercise.

Here I am swimming. Note the organisation in the pool compared to usual. The children are playing happily with the sea creatures as it's the school hols. Elf is the one on the green croc.The lifeguard is doing his job. No one is armless, legless or headless. Even the triplets are there. The sun shines on us all!

Our latest successful heroes!

henpen90 (triathlete)

henpen90 plus1 (triathlete)

Second Lieutenant ullyrunner (triathlete)

If I have missed your completion post let me know.

[I_will Graduate]

Well, I'm ashamed of myself for slacking behind. You have shown me what should be done, although I can't compete with a quiff, it has to be said.

Sorry to hear about the calf gouges ~ nasty! I hope that you are thoroughly proud of yourself sir, and that the beautifully crafted crocheted onesy didn't droop when wet.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to I_will]

My onesie does not droop - it is a testament to the strength of Lycra and crocheting skills of Captain poppypug (ents and haberdashery div, triathlete)

[I_will Graduate]

Any respectable person would avert their eyes in respect of sir's rank. To be seen in such a way could damage his rep!

However, I'm sure PoppyPug saw to it that the tightest yarns were used.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to I_will]

Second Lieutenant I_will (classics div), thank you for your words with the rude Second Lieutenant KittyKat007 (distribution div, triathlete).

[I_will Graduate]

LOL!!

Good job you're in charge of habidashery, I would have been tempted to use chainmail which would have looked good but would also have led to a steadily disappearing quiff!

[Windswept1 Graduate]

OK Sire,

I need a bit of a reprieve due to marathon training. Last week did an 18 mile jog/walk on Thursday & 45 minutes Aquafit on Friday. Monday & Wed did 30 minutes jog/walk & Tuesday & today 45 minutes strength stuff in gym. Did a few minutes on bike in gym today and tomorrow will be doing Aquafit & jog Scotland. Next week similar with 26.2 mile jog/walk marathon on 2 August.

As not used to exercise bike do not want to jeopardise untried cycling muscles until after marathon.

Can I extend my challenge for cycling until 2nd week of August when I hope to be recovered?

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to Windswept1]

Windswept1 you are an example to us all! Cycle when you're up to it!

[misswobble Graduate]

Well done Dozz. You're a star and no mistake. Sorry to hear about your cog wounds! Still, the quiff was unscathed so that's all right then.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to misswobble]

Yep, Brylcreem rules!

[dozzer19 Graduate]

Second Lieutenant KittyKat007 (distribution div, triathlete) many thanks for your support and congrats. I feel honoured to be in the ranks of triathlete with those such as you.

[dozzer19 Graduate]

Second Lieutenant KittyKat007 (distribution div, triathlete) don't be cheeky or you'll be demoted.

[dozzer19 Graduate]

Yep, I made sure I deleted all the others. Funny, eh!

[dozzer19 Graduate]

Technology wouldn't let me send it. I'll try tomorrow.

[dozzer19 Graduate]

Thank you.

[Ullyrunner Graduate]

Magnificent effort Dozzer! You should be proud of the way you have inspired a new generation of superb triathletes!

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to Ullyrunner]

Yes, Alistair and Jonny should start to worry about their medal chances in Rio.

[AncientMum Graduate]

Dozz, Sir, I am in awe. The run, the cycling (with all the Mark Cavendish-esque drama of le Grand Depart) followed by the triumphant swim. You are truly an inspiration ×wipes away small tear× Am now off to do my 30 min brisk limpy walk (in lieu of running) Congratulations Dozz CinC (triathlete)

[AncientMum Graduate]

Limpy walk duly completed Sir. 2 challenges down and 1 to go...

[poppypug Graduate in reply to AncientMum]

Aw EM, what a trooper you are , and all done with a limpy leg

Definitely a mention in dispatches for you m'dear

Well done ! xxx

[AncientMum Graduate in reply to poppypug]

Thank you Sweetie, was inspired by Dozz and his fortitude in the face of a poorly cut leg ( and im quite competitive and getting jealous of everyone else's triathlete status )

[poppypug Graduate in reply to AncientMum]

Well done EM, I think we all deserve a pat on the back for completing this to be honest . Great idea from Dozz , fair play to him xxx

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to AncientMum]

Well done Second Lientenant AncientMum (ents div), courage in adversity and all that. On to victory!

[GoogleMe Graduate]

Ah congratulations! Are we putting you on a stamp? If not, why not?

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to GoogleMe]

Ha! That'd be amusing. But which outfit? The King of the Mountain or the onesie?

[lizziebeth57 Graduate]

What a tale of adversity and tenacity and you maintained your stylishness throughout. `Well done sir

I am trailing behind on the swimming element, I have my grandsons wee paddling pool here but think I really need to venture into the swimming pool today to earn my triathlete status.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to lizziebeth57]

Keep going - honesty shows integrity.

[AncientMum Graduate]

Great timing Poppy, I've just filled the teapot. Its mashing as I type. Milk and sugar?

[AncientMum Graduate]

3 Sweeteners it is, matey

[Mummysaurus Graduate]

Well done Sir, hope the leg heals mighty speedy, I am off to do my cycle today and maybe the swim if the little on holiday monsters haven't knicked all the water then my run will be the Race for Life on Sunday............report to follow Sir

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to Mummysaurus]

Mummysaurus, that's the spirit. Good luck for Sunday!

[ginbin Graduate]

Excellent finish, Dozz! You deserve a Purple Heart for the injuries you incurred on the bike ride

I shall be working on a certificate of excellence for each of us, which I will post at the end of the month. After all, we do deserve a right to blow our on horns for our successful accomplishments.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to ginbin]

Good publicity Second Lieutenant ginbin (publicity div, triathlete)

[lizziebeth57 Graduate]

WHOOP DE DO, I did it. Had already completed my run and biked for 30 minutes then today I swam for 30 minutes - didn't even a stop for a breather. I am so pleased because I've not been swimming since my mam died in March last year. Funny really because my swimming was something she was so positive about. Ah well, think this means I will be back in the pool pretty soon. This trithlon has been good in many ways, cheers for that Dozz. I will have to get a new costume though because, unlike out illustrious leader, the backside of mine really was drooping big time

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to lizziebeth57]

Well done Second Lieutenant lizziebeth57 (supplies div, triathlete)! Sorry to hear about your mum.

[lizziebeth57 Graduate in reply to dozzer19]

Thanks Dozz, was good to be swimming again. I am definitely going to need to add a swimming costume to my list when out shopping for supplies.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to lizziebeth57]

I suggest not Poundland.

[lizziebeth57 Graduate in reply to dozzer19]

I agree, fine for Toblerone but I can't imagine what their swimwear would be like. Seeing as my last swimming costume lasted for approx 16 years then I think I will go for a speedo again. I also need new goggles as I still have the marks around my eyes from this morning

Still a triathlete, me? I am so chuffed.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to lizziebeth57]

That's right Second Lieutenant lizziebeth57 (supplies div, triathlete)!

[dozzer19 Graduate]

Mornin'.

[frannyfran Graduate]

A leader to be proud of!

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to frannyfran]

Thank you Second Lieutenant Frannyfran (linguistics, triathlete first class)

[waletta Graduate]

I'm just so glad you wore trousers. That little leggo character has had me worried for a while. I was listening to radio the other day & they mentioned this - express.co.uk/news/weird/49... - I thought of you.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to waletta]

This is just me in my getting up onesie with a red vest on!

[dozzer19 Graduate]

You're biased.

[dozzer19 Graduate]

Busy day. Quick look at posts before bed now.

[dozzer19 Graduate]

Pnpn

[waletta Graduate]

Made me chuckle- getting up onesie!

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to waletta]

Don't want to risk getting chilly on way to kettle for early morning tea.

[waletta Graduate]

Oh! Blush! Redder than when running! Redder than little red jumper! I thought you were refering to your birthday suit as a getting up onesie.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to waletta]

Waletta!