Horseradish, nettles and running!

Hail to all ye merry runners!

Just thought I'd share my latest run with you. The weather at 6.14am was not altogether clement I have to say. It had rained in the night and the roads were wet so I made a mental note to take it easy around corners. Didn't want to slip, slide and fall on my pert bottom! Sophie the cat demanded her tin of nostril invading rabbit flavoured cat food before I set off, so once I'd served Her Majesty I chose todays podcast to run to.

Frequent readers of my blog will know that I've jettisoned music to run to, in favour of more 'boring' things to listen to. The idea being that if my brain is fed with gobbledeegook, it'll take my mind off the mental struggle I seem to have with getting 5K under my belt each time. Although this sounds slightly eccentric, it works! I've already run to discussions about scientific research (into subjects I have zero interest in) and a banal American Quiz show with presenters who kept using the word "Awwwwsome!". Todays poddy was going to be "Gardeners Question Time"! I've got a garden. I'm growing spuds for the first time in my life (also lettuce) so I thought "I'll give this a go." I mean, on the panel was a bloke called BOB FLOWERDEW for God's sake! Couldn't resist a gardening discussion with a geezer who'd clearly changed his name to suit his profession could i?

Set off on the warm up walk and first up on the podcast was a lady from East Midlothian asking how to stop her radishes from going all mushy once she's dug them up and stored them in dry sharp sand!!! Unbelievable but true. Various members of the panel came up with all sorts of ideas - dig them up and store them in damp sand (not dry), dig them up, dig another hole in the garden and stick them in there, another panel member advised to make horseradish sauce from them as soon as they're dug up! But watch out lady from East Midlothian, cos you might have a nasty accident owing to the strong aroma whilst grating the blighters!!

By this stage I was well into my 2nd K and already more knowledgeable about horseradishes - their growing, their storing and how to make horseradish sauce!! My legs felt good. My breathing was fine. Sweat was forming on my brow and sliding down my now quite rosy cheeks.

Then came a lady asking about nettles. They were taking over her garden and how the hell could she fight back! This almost caused war between the panel members as one of them suggested "If you want to be organic about it, get a black plastic sheet and smother them until the light no longer nourishes their root system, thereby killing off the offending nettles" - "What?" a fellow panel member named Eric exclaimed "Black plastic? Organic? Are you mad?" - Cue about ten minutes of boring chat about bloody nettles and how to wipe the buggers off the face of your garden. This was great stuff for me though. I was well into 3rdK and going like a gazelle.

Eventually "Nettle Gate" was put to one side and we finished off with a comedy question - "How do I stop my husband from pruning EVERYTHING in my garden back to a stump and virtually killing off most of my plants?". Answers like "Send him down the pub", "Get him a subscription to a golf club", to "Lock him in the shed for a few months" put a smile on my face. It was all conducted "in the best posssssible taste!"

My run had come to an end - 4.89K by the time I stopped, puffing and panting. Not brilliant but not bad, and thanks to yet another banal podcast I had completed yet another run to benefit my health, my fitness and of course my gardening knowledge. What more could one ask for on a wet soggy morning before work.

Toodle pip and thanks for reading!



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38 Replies

  • Lovely. Please do keep blogging! :) I particularly like the tags: "Boring Eccentric mental hole"

    Mind you, I'd leave the nettles for the butterflies.

  • Oh yeah? HAHAHAHA!!

  • Sand flavoured?

  • ha ha! I couldn't make head nor tail of this comment in my emails! Had to come on here to find what on earth it was about! (Sand flavoured nettles???? No.)

  • Look at the TAGS...... there's a clue!

  • Yes, thanks - I had found it eventually! The tag making system really is very peculiar.

  • Wow Dan, nettles, radish & excess pruning all in one run, brilliant. I would hide hubbies secateurs to solve the final problem then he could take her down to the pub. ;)

    Where are you getting all your audio apps from? Must give the quiz's a try some time. I've been out twice this week running naked (in your words) but with a club, its not bad when there are others about, although talking and running still don't come easy to me!!

  • Oldgirl! I get my poddies from iTunes VIA my iPhone . The categories on the podcast section are vast - hence my eclectic variations (is that a tautology?)

  • Lol...if they have any suggestions for bindweed I'm all ears. (Now to go and download some..!) ;)

  • I like this idea of running to informational stuff, but I'm not quite sure about the boring subjects. Having said that, I occasionally catch GQT (and it makes me giggle), and I have the Archers' podcast lined up for tomorrow morning's run, so what can I say about boring? :D Also, I agree with Greenlegs' comment about the tags (great!) but why is SWEAT in capitals and none of the others?? In fact, the more I look at the tags, the more I feel a rude limerick coming on!

  • Another brilliant post Dan. I am sniggering about Bob Flowerdew because years ago he used to be a regular on Anglia TV or Gardeners World and was famous for saving his wee wee in a bucket!! Used to water it down and sprinkle on his veg as liquid feed. Now that is ORGANIC!!! And another piece of useless info is that he had waist length long hair which was usually plaited......I will say no more. Happy running. Claire. X

  • For a moment there i thought you were going to say something else about Mr Flowerdew's urine habits! Wouldn't want to eat his veg!

  • Please stop knocking my Bob. I'm secretly in love with Mr Flowerdew. (not so secret anymore but note still on very formal terms - hence the Mr.) GQT boring? you dissing my programme? :) <3 <3 <3

  • Digging your post Dan.

  • Cheers!!

  • Try 'just a minute', 'I'm sorry I haven't a clue' or 'the news quiz'. Excellent entertainment.

  • Good idea thanks tready.

  • At the risk of repeating myself, great piece of writing Dan!

  • Thank you Delia. Muchos appreciazioni!

  • Now, "muchos" is Spanish but "appreciazioni"? Spanglish? In good humour as Always, D.

  • Great blog!!! My husband listens to that and it is a very strange programme.. However I think now is the time to get done decent MUSIC!! Or perhaps talking books???

    Well done on your progress

  • JuicyJu I'm thinking some music with a twist might be fun. Whale song perhaps? Or dolphin sonar? Hahaha!!

  • I think Dan you could do some running Podcasts, running music in the background of course with your voice over on your anecdotes of your own runs. We would laugh our way through our 5K runs no problems at all.

  • Great idea!

  • Now there's an idea.......

  • Hello Dan,

    I've been following your boring run blogs with interest and made a bit of a faux pas myself when trying the same - listening to a podcast about a closely work-related subject - it was soul destroying and a proposed 6.5k run turned into a 2k crawl!

    My own fault I know, but I think I'll remain a spectator in the world of boring podcasts as it seems to be productive for me, rather than counterproductive the way you use it!

    Anyway, I enjoyed the gardening feedback - if you choose this particular programme again, do let me know if there are any tips to stop cats pooping in my garden - it'd be greatly appreciated!!!


  • Cats: water pistol? Super soaker?

  • I happened upon the offending cat this morning (a bolshy black and white specimen) and it got my pre-park run glass of water thrown out the window at it, but usually it "visits" when I'm at work, so opportunities for supersoaker, much as I'd LOVE it are unfortunately slim!

  • Garlic puts cats off. Either make your own spray or buy some pellets. A neighbour's sign asking them not to poo on the garden doesn't work. Apparently cats can't read...

  • Haha, is there really a sign in your neighbour's garden?! Did they pay actual hard cash for it? Thankfully my father has a greenhouse full of garlic at the moment so I shall pilfer some at harvest time and concoct a deadly spray. Thanks!

  • Have you tried lion dung? That scares the heck out of moggies...... but I don't think Tesco sell it...

  • Aw what a shame... but a surprise to find a market that Tesco haven't monopolised yet!

  • Great blog. How about philosophy podcasts? Available from They are a bit of an acquired taste but quite interesting. My son who is a philosophy graduate sometimes puts them on in the car.

  • That's great! Thanks wil I'll try them out

  • Awesome!

    Sorry, couldn't resist!

  • I forgive you beads!! Haha

  • How about a talking book version of Ullysses or Finnegan's Wake? I'd love to read your blog on either of those two!

  • Now THAT would be too much like hard work Delia!

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