I never liked running anyway...

[Jundal]

It's been a difficult month or so.

Work has been tough, (12 hour shifts walking 6-7 miles a day) home has been not brilliant (why did I have kids and not just get a dog?) and I'd settled into a kind of deep blue funk. I hadn't been running since the 19th February, before three days ago and then, I only managed 3.5k before crapping out and giving up. And even though I'd 'been out' as I think of it, I'd settled into an old route that's pretty straight forward, but reminds me subconsciously of the beginning of the programme. And because I didn't manage to push myself, (I haven't been sleeping well, my injured knee has been creaking a lot and I've not been in a good place mentally) the gremlins have been out. In force. Wearing hard hats and Jack boots, chanting about how I can't do it, how I don't like running anyway, and if I run, my knee is going to get worse the more I run. So not a good environment inside my head for running.

Actually, it's been awful and I've felt rubbish.

But after a couple of good days, I decided to go out this afternoon and tackle one of the hardest routes I've ran. The first kilometre is uphill, and it's not particularly gentle. There's a few downward inclines, then more hills. Around 2k in, there a hill I had to walk up though. (Mainly because I didn't have my climbing gear, including crampons, harnesses and ropes!) But after that, (and a quick stretch of my thighs) I started running again. At 2.5k, it was hurting a little, but I kept on going, running slowly and enjoying being outside. At 3.5k I was inventing swear words and wishing I was pulling into my local pub as I passed! I got into the woods shortly after this and despite a minor tech problem, cruised down through my local woods, getting to the local priory. I stopped to open the gate and left it open, even though I'd just passed 5k, intending to shut it on the way back.

Now, the local priory is meant to be VERY haunted, with ghost stories abound but every time I've ever run down there, that gate has stayed open and I've run there at least a couple of hundred times in the last year or so.

Until today.

As I cruised tiredly up the gravelly path towards the gate, it started to slowly swing shut, going flush with the gate post, exactly as if someone had shut it by hand, despite the small steel plate at the base of the post, where you usually have to hitch it up an inch doesnt doesn't bounce open again. At this point, being unsure of the existence of people of the ghosty variety, I may have said something along the lines of "haha you unfunny invisible BA$T@4D!" I had to stop to open the blummin gate and then shut it behind me, no one wanted to drift it shut behind me!

I didn't go for much longer after this ghostly encounter, but I did manage a respectable 5.67k, beating my last 'long' run of a couple of weeks ago at 5.5k and any progress is good progress. 😊

Edit: this is me feeling pretty good at the distance. Hi guys!

[GoGo_JoJo Graduate10]

Indeed, all progress is progress. Good for you for getting back on it, this is a tough time of year for all kinds of gremlins... even the gate shutting variety it seems!! 👍😉😁

[Bridget007]

Yes! Well done!👍🏻 you smashed those gremlins 👿👹👿👹 although maybe one followed you to the gate 👻

[Jundal in reply to Bridget007]

Hope not, if it can shut a gate, what else can it do?!? 😂

[Fabulous450 Graduate10]

Oh my goodness Jundal!! You have done an amazing job getting back out there and doing 3.5k first, then nearly 6k! 🥰! Sounds like a brilliant achievement to me.

I have been struggling to get out there myself. Sometimes life just unfolds in an unhelpful way. And we do tend to put ourselves last, especially for the kids. But yesterday, I did a 10 minute run and simply decided that was all I had to give right now, but I did it. No regrets! My fellow VRBs were, as always, tremendously supportive of my very little run!! 😊 You, on the other hand have done much better and I both applaude and celebrate that you did slay those gremlins (who were even shutting gates today), but you were not beaten and you opened them! A massive well done to you!!

I hope you’ll be back on track and feeling back in the flow of life soon! But for now, just so you know, you’ve been amazing, as always! 🤗🤗🤗😍❤️

[Jundal in reply to Fabulous450]

Thank you Fabby. That means a lot to me. 🙏🖖

[Fabulous450 Graduate10 in reply to Jundal]

Just wanted you to know you’re VRB’s are right here to support and hold up that mirror to show you what we see Jundal! 😉❤️

[Jundal in reply to Fabulous450]

👍

[Jogunlikely]

Good job 😈🔨😈🗡🗡🗡 u crushed them 💪👍👍

[Jundal in reply to Jogunlikely]

I think I simply ran until they couldn't keep up. A good lesson well learned!

[Jell6 Graduate10]

Firstly ,well done for tackling all of that, this is one of the reasons we run I think. To sieve through thoughts as we go. As far as possible dump the bad stuff.

But ghostly gate closings 👀😱👻.

No, I've got nothing.

[Jundal in reply to Jell6]

As my youngest son says quite frequently, "OH, COME ON!" 😂 Was spectacularly unimpressed!

[Jell6 Graduate10 in reply to Jundal]

What do you have to do? 🤣🤣🤣

[Jundal in reply to Jell6]

For me, move, don't think. Thinkings the problem! Exhausting the physical quietens the mental and may be the most effective therapy of all.

[Flaraflarkin Graduate10]

Sorry you've had a crap time. But you've done great getting back out there Jundal 🤗 and thanks for posting as I too have been struggling to get out there again for almost 2weeks now - the slippery slide of why the hell am I even bothering to do this? has kicked in again. And I need to get out there... because I just need to get out there! Well done you for getting out there 👊🙌 and thanks again x

[Jundal in reply to Flaraflarkin]

I think today I'm learning... Run. Just run. Doesn't matter how far, how fast, but run until it hurts so much that the mind stills, the heart quietens, and I exist in a tranquil pool only disturbed by the pull of passing pubs, cute dogs and muddy protruding stones I might slip on. ❤️🖖🙏😊

And you're an inspiration yourself Flara. Keep running.

[Flaraflarkin Graduate10 in reply to Jundal]

Love that description, and thank you 🤗 Your smile speaks volumes 😊🦋

[cheekychipmunks Graduate10]

Yay, Jundal’s back! 🏃‍♂️👊

We’ve missed you, and it sounds like you’ve had a torrid time of it. Hopefully things are looking up and you can grace the forum with your jolly banter again now that you’ve rediscovered the wonders of running! 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

For what it’s worth, no way Jose would I have run in the haunted priory 👻. That was a darned respectable distance too, so mega kudos! 👊 💪

Nice that you’re back Jundal! 😀

[Jundal in reply to cheekychipmunks]

It's a lovely place, tbh and I love ending a run going around it. And things are looking up ATM, I didn't realise how bad i felt until the last couple of days, but often things are darkest before dawn. My wife introduced me to the wonders of singing every song you hear as if your a go jetter, everything I sing now is about grandmaster glitch and the grimbots! 😂 And yeah, I often include ubercorn so he doesn't feel left out. But having said that, I've thrown away pressure on myself to do epic long runs, fast runs or anything. But I'll just run, enjoy myself and feel good. And chuckle as I sing about being a go jetter.

And it's good to be back. I'll be sporadically popping in every few days, I'd forgotten how supportive you guys are, regardless if it's about running.

Thanks everyone. 👍🙏🖖❤️

[cheekychipmunks Graduate10 in reply to Jundal]

Sounds like a fantastic plan! No pressure running is the best. 😀

It’ll be great to hear how you’re doing. I’ve also resigned myself to the fact I’ll never be fast and 10k is going to be my limit. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day for a 🐌 like me to go further! 😅

Happy running Jundal. We’re always here. ❤️

[Jundal in reply to cheekychipmunks]

Slow and steady cheeky, start earlier and finish later! Come on, I'm sure you can get up to 10 miles...

[cheekychipmunks Graduate10 in reply to Jundal]

Oh no, don’t tempt me! I’d be out all day! There’d be a search party! 😅😅

[Jundal in reply to cheekychipmunks]

Doooo iiiiit.... 😂

[cheekychipmunks Graduate10 in reply to Jundal]

Stop iiiittttt!!! 😅😅😅😅

[Jundal in reply to cheekychipmunks]

😂😂😂😂

[misswobble Graduate10]

Did it make you titter 😁 the ghostly gate bit that is It would me 😁. Then run a bit quicker as if being perused by a headless horseman or sommat. Good game ! 👍😃

Running is better than therapy 💪👍😃

[Jundal in reply to misswobble]

It is, but my reaction was more like 'come on dude, don't be a dickhead!' 😂

[misswobble Graduate10 in reply to Jundal]

play it cool sorta thing. LOL

[molly1973]

What a great run! Tough but it did exactly what you needed it to do: give yourself headspace and s chance to crush those gremlins. So pleased for you 👍

[lollytwist Graduate10]

Well done on beating your gremlins and getting out there! It can be hard to get motivated when you’re in a funk. I hope your knee is feeling ok x

[Jundal in reply to lollytwist]

It's better than it was, but I was told it was a sprain by the (useless) Dr but having had many sprains before, this WASNT a sprain. I've a feeling it's cartelidge damage, something I've had in my other knee, so I know how it feels. It's not bad enough to need 'sorting' though, so I'm just getting on with it.

[Hidden]

Think less and run more is my advice. Those negative thoughts are just that - thoughts. Just cos you think something doesn't make it true.

Very well done sounds like a lovely life affirming run

[SANDI_runs Graduate10]

Well done for getting back at it and ignoring those gremlins and spooks!!! 👻👻👻

[Jundal in reply to SANDI_runs]

Thanks, Singy-Ron. 😋

[SANDI_runs Graduate10 in reply to Jundal]

No worries Junedoss 😁

[Wimborne]

Yay you are back!!!! Amazing come back as well. 😀

[Jundal in reply to Wimborne]

Thankyou 😊

[JonathanP Graduate10]

Well done! Very spooky.......😮

[Deals1 Graduate10]

Welcome back

Sorry to hear u've been having a rough time of it 😢

Sounds a great comeback run tho ... Even with the phantom gate closer!?😱

It seems there maybe a bit of a gremlin epidemic at the moment! We will soon bash them all away tho.

[Jundal in reply to Deals1]

That we will. 👊

[Islerunner]

I just read your post, Jundal. I don’t think we’ve ‘met’ before, but you just commented on my weedy ‘treadmill’ post and Ive just found your post really inspiring. Your ‘just get out and run to clear your head’ attitude is really refreshing. I’m always being told I’m an over-thinker and c25k can really feed that if you let it and you end up beating yourself up if you miss your personal targets that no one else knows about. And I’m beginning to think that’s counterproductive and defeats the whole point of this exercise for me. I started c25k because there are/were a load of crappy things happening in my life and I felt like I needed something else to focus on (and I needed to get fitter) and it was working. But now I’m nearing the end (W8) I’m wondering if I have unwittingly set myself up with something else to worry about as I am panicking about fitting in runs this week so I can Parkrun on Sat. Maybe I should just stop worrying about that self-imposed deadline and remember why I started this thing (to clear my head from everything else!).

Does my rambling make any sense? I think you may have inspired me to think differently about it all today. 🤔

[Jundal in reply to Islerunner]

Glad to be an inspiration, islerunner! And yeah, I completely understand. The trick is to realise that even having a week off isn't going to really effect your level of fitness, (I wouldn't go more than that if you can help it though) so don't beat yourself up for missing a run. I'll be honest, as I've gone on, sometimes it's harder: I don't have the massive feeling of achievement at the end of each run as I used to but I do have a sense of calm. Even my wife notices I look like I've shaken off my problems when I'm out, and it comes with a host of benefits to my mental health.

As you get sucked into the world of running more and more, you'll hear of negative splits, fartleks, form, gait testing, shoe porn, race bling, running clubs, running clothes, (seriously, Aldi and Lidl are ace for these) but most people forget to talk about the main reason we run:

Run is one letter away from fun. And we run because we enjoy it.

So throw away your targets at least for one run each week and just enjoy it.

[Islerunner in reply to Jundal]

Thanks for that, Jundal. I think I needed to hear it. I’ve suddenly realised that I am just setting up more reasons to get in a stress because I’m giving myself targets all the time and then worrying when they are difficult to meet (because of the weather!). I do need to calm down and remember why I’m doing this. And if I have to put the Parkrun back a week or so, it’s not the end of anybody’s world. And I’m also probably more likely to achieve it!

Thank you for totally unwittingly helping me sort my head out. Isn’t life funny!! It sometimes takes a total strangers words to help you see what you have been missing.

I think I’ll still investigate the treadmill though!

[grumpyoldgirl]

I never ever thought that running would be the way to sort my head out. Or that, having discovered it, that I would forget and need to be reminded, but it's true, runs like this are the ones that remind us why we do it, and posts like this help others to work it out for themselves. Not sure I could have taken the phantom gate closer quite so calmly! Eek!