Hi everyone! Well, it had to happen sometime - I've been talking myself out of running. I last ran on Saturday at Park Run, and missed yesterday evening's Good Gym because I was giving a talk in the evening. I'd mentally marked this morning as a run day, not expecting my buddy to want to run tomorrow after her work. Here are some of the 'environmental gremlins' involved:
1) I am not training for a specific event anymore. This year was all about getting to the Great South, which I did at the end of October, and I've since been a bit aimless - just like many on here have found - I don't have a plan.
2) The dark evenings and cold weather - I have never had a healthy attitude to autumn/winter conditions.
3) Tech problems - more like bluetooth earbud problems - I've tried two different sets and neither have worked properly which is just yuk in the middle of a run, because I like running to music. And it's a minor thing but still a 'thing'.
4) The 'should be' stories I tell myself. I should be trying different routes, I should be doing more interval training, I should be running for longer, I should be better prepared for the days I run, I should be cleaning my filthy windows instead, I should be spending more time with the dog... should be, should be, should be.....
5) My actual running buddy has been taking a break from running and she doesn't like the dark either. My swim buddy has been experiencing migraines. So I've been without that commitment to turning up.
Today I had plans to run from my front door before rush hour - which I've only done twice before. Many of the routes immediately outside don't have paths, and I'd have to mix it with the traffic.
Then I woke up and the 'immediate gremlins' kicked in. I'd drank too much wine last night, I'd not hydrated well, I had too much to do, the dog threw up his breakfast. Before I knew it I had missed the very early morning chance to get out and I started telling myself I could go later - knowing full well that I have a swim scheduled for lunchtime, then an afternoon meeting, and I probably wouldn't feel like running later in the wet, dark etc etc....
Change of plan - address the gremlins. Running from the front door was too hard. I needed comfort and confidence, not performance and challenges. I dug out the faithful old plug-in earphones. I decided to drive to my local park, that I know really well. I told myself this was just going to be a Fabulous run (as in a Fabulous450 - 'out there, don't care!') and I loaded up the Nike Headspace 50 minute run, for whatever distance it turned out to be - it didn't matter - a run is a run, is what Fabulous always says.
I had another negative thought. Rush hour. Ach - the traffic would all be cutting down through the single track road to the park, and it will take ages to get there. Maybe I should wait until aft....... Nooooo!... Go NOW! Hanging about for another hour is going to waste more time than if you just GO!
Right. I'm in the car. Traffic was no problem (another 'story' busted). Park up. Strava, Nike, Apple Workout, Amazon music all being an utter pain and not co-operating. I get my usual Apple Workout going, and then start the Headspace app. 2 apps are enough for anyone. Off I go.
Immediately, my right knee hurts - just below the kneecap. I want to stop. But then I think "After ALL that it took to get me here this morning, nope, let's see if I can fix this...". The Headspace dialogue reassures me I'm only just getting into this run, and I go slow, land softly, maintain form, get my breathing going.
Round the back of Lydiard House, downhill and around the lake, then back up toward the access road... I noticed running up the inclines, that I used to struggle to walk up with the dog, are loads easier. Hey! That's amazing! My knee isn't complaining as much now. Past the carpark on the way to the main road, and then turn right and run along the edge of the park as I head out for a lap around the big field and back to Lydiard House.
Aside for the occasional twinge in my arthritic hip, everything is feeling real easy. I am enjoying the podcast, not really having to think about my breathing, keep focussed on my form. Finishing the lap, I barely notice the rain and wind as I head out again, up the path that cuts right through the middle of the large field. This takes me back to the highest point on the run, and now it's all downhill back to the car.
The Headspace session ends just as I get to the access road to the carpark, so I run the last 200m back to the car. I don't feel a 'need' to stop.
Back at the car, I took a moment to review how far I'd come (and this write up is part of that too). I wasn't gasping for water, or jelly babies. I felt fine - no bother! It felt great to have beaten the gremlins. And I coped with niggles better than I could have done before. The inclines were LOADS easier. I had no problems keeping going and could have gone further than 7k, if I wanted to.
And I looked at my stats and was chuffed with an average 7m29s per km - considering I was taking it so easy. That pace would have been a Parkrun best only a couple of weeks ago.
On this run, I'd been reminded by Headspace that striving for a positive mindset at all times and trying to block and dismiss those negative thoughts and feelings, just adds to stress. What we can do is accept the negative thought, but let it go. I don't have to buy into the stories I tell myself. I can talk to myself instead in an encouraging way, and a congratulatory way - like I would any friend. My mantra for my business is 'one step at a time', and it's true.
Some days all the self-coaching in the world might not be enough, and that's ok. But today, at least, I chose to run.
but now I can't afford to keep being put off exercise. So, when things seem like a battle, I think it's about finding a way forward with smaller, gentler steps towards the goal, and not giving up or beating ourselves up with the 'should be's.
Have I run 10k or not?
What side of the road is the correct one to run on?
Christmas Ministreak 7/16
