Do you feel you have more confidence in your life without your loved one now….

[chloe40]

Than 6-12 months ago?

Chloe

[Bingofox007]

I am more confident in my work but I feel I am not such a ‘nice’ person now. I’m more aggressive, less tolerant and more out spoken. I suppose that could still be interpreted as grief, being angry about it all?? I am more sensitive at sad situations snd even films/soaps. I suppose survival, getting through the grieving process and having to face life while ‘pulling yourself together’ in front of people who don’t know your circumstances can be seen as confident. My husband dealt with all the finances and I have never gained more confidence in this field since I have had the purse strings as it were. Looking forward to others responses to your question as always. Take care 🦊x

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Bingofox007]

Hi Bingofox007

That's interesting, thank you!

I think feeling angry about being left behind having to cope alone is totally understandable, I think most would agree x

Yes, let's hear what others think too.

[Caza in reply to Bingofox007]

I get that. I’m far more, how can I put it, assertive less tolerant. As you say more outspoken, not such a nice person. I’m not sure why. I’m often irritated by people less tolerant. & it worries me how I can cut people out of my life quite easily if necessary. I guess it’s self preservation 🤷‍♀️

[Turnipgirl in reply to Caza]

Nowadays I don't put up with stupid nonsense either for example things like short notice appointments that could easily wait I happily say no to unless I really really have nothing better to do!

Also giving that stupid pub a wide berth where you have to make an appointment for Sunday lunch which I had got fed up with a couple of weeks ago and also they aren't very reliable when another customer had wanted to order the roast chicken and there was no roast chicken!

One Sunday a woman had shouted at them in front of everyone when she was turned away as she hadn't made an appointment and I had laughed wishing it was me doing that but i wouldnt as theres no point but had dismissed my angry feelings over having to make an appointment that day as silly and childish but no they are not and that day a few weeks back was the last straw when that customer got told no chicken and the young family turned away as they hadn't made an appointment which I think is ridiculous myself!

Thankfully I had ordered roast beef that day and that was OK but still felt angry over the injustice of having to make an appointment just for that!

I had suggested to the lady upset and shouting to join us in the beer garden but no she had wanted a table in the restaurant and that was that!

I had said to her how its extremely frustrating isn't it when you fancy something and get told you can't have it and she had thanked me for my understanding which was nice!

Today for lunch we had an autumn chicken casserole which involved a carton of pumpkin soup, roast chicken from Tescos and a load of turnips and swede I prepared earlier on and it was delicious and trifle for dessert and some wine and beer from the off licence and spent the afternoon reading with cups of tea!

As far as I'm concerned they can stick their Sunday lunch appointments where the sun doesn't shine!

What upset me was the injustice of it all!

[Turnipgirl]

Yes I am a lot more confident now than I was back in the May of 2023 just after I was evicted and hadn't wanted to have gone out of the flat fearing if I did horrible things would happen so what I did was made small trips out of the flat at first until I was happy to do those and then worked up to where I am now and I go out now like it's second nature again like I used to but a lot wiser from my experiences and not letting those who make me angry run my life!

Wednesday just gone we had our flu jabs and yesterday I took an easy day as I felt hungover but this morning I was raring to go and had a nice early start and got things done nice and early!

This afternoon it's swimming which I am looking forward to!

[chloe40 Administrator]

You're doing great Turnipgirl

I'm having flu & Covid Sunday !! but I'll be glad when it's done.

Enjoy your swimming this afternoon and have a good weekend x

[Turnipgirl in reply to chloe40]

Here they say they will write to those eligible about covid jabs in due course so I'm not sure when I will have mine yet!

I really enjoyed swimming yesterday and have booked for some morning sessions next week as well!

I feel that getting evicted back last year nowadays was the best thing that could have happened to me and it was a good thing really getting removed from a place where I was miserable and needed to get out of!

Today it's the Newport food festival which I am looking forward to!

[Caza in reply to Turnipgirl]

It certainly seems that you’re getting out & about & enjoying life again. Well done you x

[Turnipgirl in reply to Caza]

Yesterday I really really enjoyed the food festival in Newport and taking part in some of the activities at the arts centre like making jewellery out of pasta and making pot noodles from veg which is something I do at home anyway put frozen veg in with noodles and also trying out a vegetarian curry that the children from the local schools had made from locally grown veg!

Then we went to an open day at a place called the cosy cinema which was different from the regular cinema where you have your own pod!

I loaded up with fruit and veg at the greengrocers there as well and chopped them up when I got home yesterday so they are ready when I am for next week's dinners!

I got fed up with one of the pubs round and about having to book an appointment for Sunday lunch and a couple of weeks back I had become ever so upset over it as I think it's stupid and decided best thing to do was save myself the upset on a Sunday and not bother and reckon I will save £120 a month by giving them a miss!

This morning I thought I would have a nosy at their website to see if an appointment would be necessary and yes it will be and it confirmed to me that I had made the right choice in saving myself the upset and not bothering with them for Sunday lunch and they aren't very reliable anyway either so yes I am right in not bothering with them!

Booked appointments have no place on a Sunday and are something to do on weekdays and perhaps a Saturday if it's something special and important!

Saying to book for things like Christmas day that's fair enough but for stupid things like that that's ridiculous!

That Sunday a few weeks back when I felt really cross over having to book there a young family had turned up to be greeted with have you booked and no they hadn't and had been turned away in front of everyone which I didn't think was very nice myself and with children things like that feel like the end of the world and I had felt cross for the young family but they probably saved them a packet by doing that same as they have saved me a fortune as well by making me angry!

[Caza]

i think iam more confident in some ways. My sister & I had a very close relationship. She had my back & I had hers. She was my soul mate my best friend ever. I know your meant to say your partner but it’s never been the case. & I miss her terribly. If we were at a party she’d always take centre stage whereas I would hold back. So to a certain extent I’ve had to step forward at family gatherings etc.. which I don’t particularly enjoy. I’ve always been the strong one in my marriage but I’ve had to step up a bit more as my husband has been ill. But how I long for someone to look after me sometimes like my sister did. 😒