Did/do you feel let down

[chloe40]

At the very time you needed others to support or be there for you?

Chloe

[Hidden]

Yes I have had many times where I have felt let down like at the toxic job where they had been spiteful after I had gone back to work after having blood clots in my lungs back in 2017 where I had received a letter saying how lots of time off sick might result in getting asked to leave like they did to another colleague there who they had really had it out for who had gone sick with stress and had been off a year and they had sacked her and she had ended up in a right mess financially as the bank had repossessed her house as she couldn't afford the mortgage.

I had felt extremely let down by the crap management at that job after I had been seriously ill as well and the nasty attitude as its not like people plan to be genuinely ill on purpose and most people who go off sick are genuinely ill like I was.

There was another incident many years ago when I was 21 and I had received some devastating news that a friend had been killed in a car accident which was a right shock and I had been told by my mother that there was nothing I could do about it and I was to cheer up which had hurt.

In fairness the managers at the job I worked in at that time which was a catering job had been very kind and had comforted me saying how that is extremely bad news and said how when you are 21 your life is just starting and a great older friend had advised me I could shout at her as much as I wanted to to get the pain out of my system which had been appreciated greatly.

Then there was the uncaring attitude at the toxic job back in 2018 after I had received the bad news that my abusive father had incurable cancer and I had told them and trusted colleagues there who had been very kind but management weren't and neither were they kind to a colleague who's dad had died back in 2016 as she had received a telling off for having too much time off sick with stress and threatened with the sack as well!

To pout salt into a deep wound the uncaring management wouldn't give me a couple of hours off with unpaid leave I had asked for due to having to stop in one Monday morning to have a water meter fitted and I had been told I was to use my leave and they hadn't been very nice about it either and it was this incident that had been the final blow with that job and had led me to make the decision to leave but I decided to take my time over it as its not something you do on a whim and it took me 8 months to have finally given them my months notice and although it was the right decision I did go through a grieving process over what I had lost but now I have accepted it and feel they accidentally did me a favour not giving me that couple of unpaid hours off even though it hurt at the time.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

Yes, catgirl,

You've been through some tough situations but you've come out the other end and are stronger for it x

[kenster1 Volunteer]

absolutely our brothers let us down when our parents became ill hardly visiting my mum and my brother never visited my dad once in 4 months of being in hospital even after my dad saying he was giving up if he didn`t visit this was before his hospital leg break.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to kenster1]

Situations like yours really hurt when others behave like that Kenny x

[Sandradsn]

I felt let down at my mums funeral and afterwards.Family members having issues about something else.Instead of supporting me in my sadness it all turned onto other past stuff.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Sandradsn]

Really sorry to read of their behaviour Sandra, really hurtful x

[Greyone]

I felt let down by my mothers/family doctors and mums care home.

Here may think myself lucky for getting off relatively light.

I often wonder where dementia wisdom really sits. There is so much chatter in forums and the internet that it gives the appearance of burgeoning. I have a very small portion of sympathy because there is in truth little they can do. Most of our support cam from on-call doctors who just dip tested.

One thing I am deeply resentful of is the lack of training for carers . I have always thought there should be something that sings into action; just like international rescue. Even though we all know that it is just about care.

What i am most resentful of is that there are problems with many areas that will never be solved.

I must admit that one area where we were never let down was with mums care home manager. He was very understanding about our financial circumstances, The company itself were not caring in any way shape or form and deliberately cause moral issues for their own end.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Greyone]

The situation you were in was extremely hard to cope with Greyone we will always see things that should/could be better in the care of our loved ones. It's such a difficult area isn't it?

Care is one of the most stressful and difficult jobs is, every person has different set of circumstances and training probably cannot cover them all sadly.

[klr31]

I felt let down by social services, the manager of one nursing home, the staff of the second, and, most importantly, the hospital where dad died.

Karen

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to klr31]

So many let you down klr31 so sorry <3

[Hidden in reply to chloe40]

It's disgusting isn't it that those who are paid to help those in need let them down and being let down by those paid to help hurts as its a breakdown of trust as those people are paid to help those who are vulnerable and when they don't it makes things hurt a lot worse than they needed to be.

Something that aggravates me are those who trivialise others problems as its like slamming your office door shut in someone's face doing that and makes things worse as what's trivial to one person isn't to another.

[klr31]

A friend also cut contact just around the time dad died. I still don't know why but it hurt.

The social worker who was assigned to mum was useless 7/8 years ago too.

Karen

[Hidden in reply to klr31]

Friends who won't be there for you in your hour of need were never your friends anyway but still it hurts though when things like that happen.

When the people who are paid to help and support us are useless like the social worker was it makes things feel worse as you feel let down by those who are paid to help those in need but don't.

Last year I had a bad experience with counselling as they were rude and disrespectful and it hurt because they are supposed to help you not demoralise you and things had felt worse for me than they had needed to be.

[klr31 in reply to Hidden]

Sorry to hear that. Yes, I can relate to that too. I had counselling after my mum died with a woman from Relate. (We ended up talking more about my dad but that's another story!) I have M.E and she wouldn't accept that I was not made worse due to the stress, even though I repeatedly told her that it is a physical illness and I wasn't. It wasn't in her remit but she thought she knew better anyway.

Karen x