So little time. So much to say - Bereavement Care ...

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So little time. So much to say

Jennblank7734 profile image
15 Replies

I cant find how to edit the first post, sorry.I have someone I met last October. We were both going through a lot and we really became close. I care an incredible amount for him. It's been 7.5 months since he was diagnosed. They gave him two years but due to complications, he won't be here for the new year. I promised him in the beginning that I'd always be here for him. As time passes, it's hurting more and more. I wish I could do more for him.

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Jennblank7734 profile image
Jennblank7734
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chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Bless you  Jennblank7734

Really sad situation and you're being incredibly brave, it's very hard to watch someone you love suffering, knowing the end is close.

You have to think of your own health and well being too to be strong for him.

You'll need extra support, see reply below and remember we are always here for you.

<3

To edit your posts, click on more at the bottom of you post and select edit.

Hello this must be extremely hard for you for all you can do is try and make the most of the Time you have together even if it's just holding hands and been close and reminiscing on the nice times you had, I can only try and help by assuring you he won't be gone when he dies of his earthly body his soul spirit will live on the soul is energy and it doesn't die I can assure I have had so much evidence and reassurance from passed loved ones please rest assured and believe that love never dies your loved one will always be around just a thought away 🤗🌟🌈

Jennblank7734 profile image
Jennblank7734 in reply to

Last May, my fiancé of 6 years committed suicide. I had left months before but kept in contact daily. He was supposed to get serious about a few things, show me he'd do better. There was always a plan to stay together. He would tell me that he was going to die without me. He told me it was going to be my fault.

Jennblank7734 profile image
Jennblank7734

That was going to relate somehow but I forgot. I'm really on edge from my landlord's constant harassment. I can't take it anymore

Turnipgirl profile image
Turnipgirl in reply to Jennblank7734

Recently back in May I got evicted from a place and before they started the official legal procedure to evict they had harassed myself and other tenants claiming we hadn't paid the rent when we had and thankfully I paid by standing order so I had proof there yes the rent was paid and on time as well so they just made themselves look stupid when they did that!

Back in the June of 2021 we had all been told that they were planning to sell the place and I had reckoned that we were all going to be getting evicted in due course and how right I was and they put the place up for sale but the sale had ended up falling through!

In the November of 2021 we all received notifications that the place was now being managed by a letting agency who were rubbish and I was suspicious again that it was an attempt to evict and I had received accusing letters off them twice claiming the rent hadn't been paid when it had and so had other tenants there as well!

Then it was the March of 2022 and I had come home from an interview in Newport and found a letter from a place saying about the property getting valued and I had thrown it out but at least I had a heads up something was going on so when we received notifications in the April that someone was coming round to value the place I wasn't surprised so what I did that day was left the apartment whilst they were there and lied saying I wouldn't be there as I had early appointments that couldn't be changed arranging to be out in case I lost my temper with them!

So when everyone received the official section 21 back in the July of last year I can't say I was surprised but still it was a shock though and I had just come home from swimming and had received that in the evening which wasn't very nice but it was nice to know that no my suspicions hadn't been silly and paranoid!

The notice had ended up being invalid after all that and it was the November of last year when I received a notification saying that the original notice was bring withdrawn as it had turned out that it was invalid so I got sent a new one starting the process again.

Then it was March just gone and I received court papers in the post and even though I knew it was soon it was still a shock though and I had filled out the defence form and had put my points across and had sent it back to the court ASAP.

Then it was the Saturday of Mother's Day weekend and I received a frightening brown letter from the court saying how Judge had booked a hearing for the Tuesday after Easter as he wasn't happy as they had made a mistake with the paperwork so no they weren't being given possession of the place with paperwork only and I was glad that they were doing a hearing in court as at court you have support whereas at home there would have been no support if Judge had given them possession based on their papers!

It was the Tuesday after Easter and I made sure I attended the hearing along with my solicitor and they had asked Judge for a high court bailiff and Judge had said get stuffed as he did when they had demanded I pay them £2000 of costs and they had left court with faces like thunder but Judge had to give them possession as all the papers were in order and I wasn't surprised and I was ordered to leave that place in 14 days and no I wasn't getting extra time there to find a new place like I had asked for!

I wasn't surprised when Judge gave the order but he had no choice in the matter and part of me was glad as it was official that yes I was going to be leaving there!

Then it was the start of May this year and I had come home one Wednesday evening to find an eviction warrant hand delivered by the bailiffs saying they were coming to evict the Tuesday after the late May bank holiday and advised me to leave before they came in to evict which thankfully i did as well!

Even though I knew the bailiffs letter was soon it was still a shock to receive it though!

Now I have been in my new place a couple of months and I have sorted out the essential furniture which most has been paid for and working through fears of frightening letters coming through the door like what had happened there when I had come back from places and had received frightening letters like the bailiffs warrant was and my brain has linked being out all day with the receipt of frightening letters which I am aware is irrational but you can't help it!

So far in the new place things have been fine and no problems with noise or anything!

Jennblank7734 profile image
Jennblank7734

Oh, right. When he died I was in shock. I was hospitalized. It did make me want the comfort of religion and belief. It's just not who I am. I'd give everything in the world right now to feel the comfort of knowing that I'd see him again. I'd do anything to feel that way.

in reply to Jennblank7734

Unfortunately if we don't believe and our minds are closed they can't get through maby if you trust what I have said and believe he will get through 🤗

Jennblank7734 profile image
Jennblank7734

I have been wanting to talk about beliefs with him. I really hope he believes he will see his wife and son again.

Itzallgood1 profile image
Itzallgood1

Just be therefor your friend. I had someone I talked to on here and they weren't expected to last long either. I haven't heard from them in awhile, probably 8 months now. Sometimes I wonder what has happened to them. They appreciated the talk we had. That's all they wanted was a friend to talk to.

Ellamaye profile image
Ellamaye in reply to Itzallgood1

You'll probably never know what happened but I'm sure you were appreciated

Itzallgood1 profile image
Itzallgood1 in reply to Ellamaye

I hope so

Midori profile image
Midori

Just be there for him, it's a difficult situation for you both.

Cheers, Midori

Jennblank7734 profile image
Jennblank7734

I feel very bad over how I broke down in front of Gustavo lately. Maybe ashamed too. I've already told him that I felt really bad and he says not to worry about it. I don't know why I'm still beating myself up. I wasnt able to hear from him today. The last time we talked, I forget which day, was a really bad day. To be honest, now that I think about it, I'm remembering I was a mess 3 weeks ago too. Maybe he means it when he said no worries. I laughed at myself a little and the thought made me feel a little better

Jennblank7734 profile image
Jennblank7734

I haven't heard from my friend in a month and maybe more. I had asked him to give my info to someone in case something happens. Maybe a week ago I got an email saying he is in a coma. They said his body had started responding and he might wake up soon. I've barely had time to think about it too much. Wow. That will be a lot to go through again with what's going on now. I'll find a way to still be there for him. I think I suffer from too much empathy.

Jennblank7734 profile image
Jennblank7734 in reply to Jennblank7734

I've barely had time to think about Gustavo. I have been writing him multiple times a week and I was told it made him happy to see my mail. I miss him so much. I know if I'm lucky enough to hear from him again that it will probably be the last time. I hope it happens. I have so much still to say.

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