Still can't go anywhere

[Cpearl]

It has only been a year and a half for me. I'm really struggling with grief/ love/anger... My late husband was an addict and a narcissist. He used my very fragile confidence as a weapon againist me. He tore me down on any subject and made me feel that no one could ever love me. All we ever did was fight. But he was a charmer and had all the people who knew us believing I was a horrible person. I miss him everyday but at the same time I don't miss the being put down and the fighting. Oddly enough, I was much more attractive than he was and have a much higher IQ than he did. I guess that's why he felt threatened and the need to destroy me. And he did! I don't think I will ever have the courage or the confidence to go out into this world and do what I would like to. So I just sit here and wait

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hi Cpearl

Truly sorry that you're distressed, it's still early days for you. You've been through a pretty horrible time from what you say, but I would like to think your life will be better in the future.

I think you hit the nail on the head summing up what was behind his treatment towards you, you're confidence has taken a dive but you will move forward when you're ready of course, don't rush it.

One of the best ways to meet new people and gain confidence is by volunteering with a worthwhile cause, you can do this, really you can. You'll soon realise that there are decent people out there and you'll experience a boost in your confidence.

Your confidence will grow and you'll meet others who will treat you will respect, they'll value you for you!

Please keep in touch

Chloe x

[Cpearl in reply to chloe40]

Thank you for your kind words. I'm trying. But it's still so hard and sometimes I feel like no one will ever want to talk to me ever. Thanks though I will try to find a volunteer position and see where that might take me.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Cpearl]

They will talk with you honestly, just give it a chance, it's got to be worth that much x

Take care x

[Turnipgirl in reply to Cpearl]

A place where I have made some new friends is at the warm space and the pantry in the community centre a few doors down and today I got a load of vegetable bakes and vegan sausage rolls and oranges and pasta and sauce packets from there all free of charge and lots of cups of tea there!

I tried another one of those last week at the community centre at the next village and I thought that they were very rude and unwelcoming when I got huffed at and told how those places are for local people only when I said how I live where I do and took it as a lesson to stay away from that district in the future!

The part of the district near the district shopping centre is friendly and welcoming it's the bottom bit with the new builds near the park where they are rude and unfriendly and it's not very nice when you have done nothing wrong and the pub nearby as well I parted ways with back last year when I received one too many rude comments about how much I put on my plate at the Sunday carvery there!

The pubs in the old village can't do enough for you and are friendly and welcoming there!

I got told recently by a lady who lives in the flats how everyone in our district likes me which was nice to hear!

[Turnipgirl in reply to chloe40]

Another thing I have found that helps ease the pain of things is the passing of time myself!