Are you suffering despair and anguish due to Grief...

[chloe40]

And have no one to share those thoughts with?

You can chat here with us, in our friendly supported Forum

Chloe <3

[kitty7]

Hi Chloe: This isn't the first time I've posted here. I seem to be going in circles and feeling really bad. My son died suddenly five years ago. He was a good person with a lot of problems one being drug addiction as well as mental illness. I've not been able to get any support from my husband (not my son's father) and any other source. Early in my son's life I was divorced and I had to deal with his problems by myself. Now, I'm older and retired from work with so much time on my hands I don't know what to do with myself. I really could use some kind words.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to kitty7]

Hello Kitty {{{hugs}}}

I'm so pleased you've posted<3

You know Kitty, if you can share some problems, it always helps and that's what we're here for, to support you and give you the strength to face difficult times.

You really have been through an awful lot of anguish, and alone too, and I understand that you feel like you've shouldered so much for far too long.

I really think it would be helpful for you to have Counselling, you have so much to talk about and things need to be said don't they? If you're in the UK you can check online for a Bereavement visitor or a Bereavement Counsellor and of course if you are outside the UK too. If you can't find anyone, please message me privately, I'd be pleased to be there for you Kitty<3

Whatever you decide, we are always here for you, so please keep posting, whenever you wish, we have a very supportive Community here<3

Chloe <3

[kitty7 in reply to chloe40]

Hi Chloe: Thanks for your message. I'm trying to change doctors and its difficult because of my insurance. Right now I go to a doctor who is not helpful at all and is annoying. It sounds like the UK has more options than where I live (USA). Like everyone else, I have good days and bad days and I always keep on trying to help myself. Thanks again and I'll keep you posted.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to kitty7]

Hi kitty7

Yes, we are lucky here in the UK it's true, we don't have the problem of insurance unless we want to have private medical treatment but we do have the NHS which is free.

Take care

Chloe

[Vasiliki99 in reply to kitty7]

Sorry you have lost someone you treasured - you will always treasure them, have you thought of buying presents or making shrines to them writing letters of creating things in their memory for them. I do this or pray for them it makes me feel close to them I think about people I lost 20 years ago and I pray for them ---I would say that dont be afraid of grief and anguish at times it can be sacred as scared and sacred are every similar letters

[kitty7 in reply to Vasiliki99]

Thank you for reply. What you said is so true! I remember my son every day and I honor his memory by doing small things for others. His memory is sacred to me I'm sure you understand. Thanks again.

[tennisgreen]

Hello Chloe,

I suffered a breakup after 16 yrs.(partner cheated-56yr old married woman)I don’t really have a lot of people to talk to about this maybe one friend,I had to move back to former neighborhood,I don’t really like but can’t afford on my own go back to original place.Former partner said she strung me for a yr(feelings),claiming I had nowhere to go.

It’s only been a month,I’m trying move forward...I clearly loved this woman more than she did me,how do I move forward,to start my life get over her?? ..as she told me at breakup,

I love u but not in love with u anymore.

I know I have to grief,..I also feel she isn’t worth the trouble??..Mixed Emotions🤢

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to tennisgreen]

Hello tennisgreen

Really sorry to read your post.

You're clearly deeply upset by the break-up and I can understand why. 16years is a long time in a relationship and you can't just turn your feeling off after all this time.

I've heard that phrase before and it doesn't help.

As you say it is very early days and I hope that you can somehow be kind to yourself, give yourself a period of adjustment, you won't be able to just 'move on', it will take time to process and then you'll be able to move forward in stages. Give yourself small goals, by doing this you'll know when you are ready for the next stage.

In the meantime, please do take good care of yourself.

Chloe <3

[Vasiliki99 in reply to tennisgreen]

its a shame she was so selfish to not care about you- but I suppose we are all in a mix of emotions and things ......................sorry about it really I hope this year things are ok for you,

[Hidden]

So glad I found this forum. Anxiety and bouts of low mood I thought were for other reasons. When I think, the root of how I have been feeling for years, is loosing my Mum suddenly.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

Hello Hidden

A very warm welcome to you.

I really glad you found us too!

Yes, I think you're absolutely right, the sudden loss of your dear Mum could very well be the reason you feel like that.

You may have blocked out your emotions, tried to 'stay strong' for others or just not had time to digest her loss. Even when we 'come to terms' with our loss, it's always there in our heart and Mums are special aren't they?

We have a really friendly community here and our members are always willing to support others, so post here whenever you wish. Lovely to have you with us.

Chloe <3

[Hidden in reply to chloe40]

Hi Chloe,

Thank you for your kind welcome.

I think I probably have blocked my emotions on loosing my Mum, and Mums are special. There is a big hole in this family. Mum was a strong character.

Happy to be part of this group.

[Hidden in reply to chloe40]

Hi chloe,

Your mention of maybe not having had time to fully digest a loss sticks out to me here. As I've mentioned before, my grieving process has been filled with outside complications. I'm actually trying to get back to grieving mom. The first complication which I now refer to as my main trauma happened mere months after her death. I remember the psychologist saying that grief of my mom is at the bottom of everything I'm experiencing right now. I never thought I'd have to work so hard to get back to my main grief.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

Hi Hidden

I agree, you've had to work hard to get back to the point you need to be. I do hope life will then become more positive for you.

<3

[rich68]

Yes

[Arniestal]

Ive posted before, its 4years and 2 months since the loss of mum suddenly. Its clear to me now im never going to get back to the person I was before losing her. I often have days still where there is no stopping the tears. Where i wish to be totally alone, in a corner. So much of my former self is now lost. I was so motivated, always, not now. Iam constantly unhappy and anything i involve myself in in only a plaster over how i feel. The huge emptiness inside has not gone, i feel this will go on forever.

[Arniestal]

I cant help thinking that it depends what else you have in your life that helps or not when ypu are continuing to suffer long term grief. I kniw even if you have a full and loving life the lose of the person you are grieving for will still be there. But getting on with your life with the loss is it easier if you have more in your life? We all have to live with the loss but for some, myself included 4 years on im unrecognisable as the person i was before. But i dont have a full life, i am married but not really. Not in any sense i am waiting fir my husband to have a brain scan to see if any damage is the reason for his behaviour. So i feel very alone, i have a daughter and a gorgeous granddaughter. Sorry I'm rambling just dont know how to "puck myself up".

[chloe40 Administrator]

HI Arniestal Good to hear from you.

I agree, with your sentiments and whist our loss is always with us, I too have found the more my mind is distracted the better for me.

I'm so sorry to read about your situation and you must be feeling so sad but please don't feel alone, we're always here for you!

I'm really thankful that your daughter and granddaughter lift your spirits x

You're not rambling <3

[Booblet]

I miss my Mum so much. Its been 4 years since she died and I am still heartbroken.I'm suffering from Depression and Anxiety. Which doesn't help.

[Frankie24]

I lost a very close and dear friend and companion. It will be two years this Sunday May 7th. I still haven’t recovered. I am productive and my life is back on track but whenever I am alone or look at his photo I cry uncontrollably. I have tried support groups and therapy but I feel the heartbreak will never go away. I don’t know how to move on.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Frankie24]

Hello Frankie24

Welcome to our Community.

You'll always have the love you shared in your heart, we never forget our loved ones.

Find a place in your life and heart where you can have some kind of life and carry your love and loss too. It will never be easy, I understand that only too well but eventually you'll be able to carry both.

Please stay with us for support.

Sending best wishes

Chloe

[Frankie24 in reply to chloe40]

Thank you so much. I have personal difficulties that I deal with that add to my sadness as I have end stage renal failure and am on dialysis. I still try to live life to the fullest despite all of this ❤️ My companion died of kidney failure as we.

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Frankie24]

Welcome Frankie. I lost my daughter two years ago. And next week is Mother’s Day. Also my father died on the 7th many years ago. Grief has a life of its own. I just have to let it roll and ask for support.

My husband’s kidneys failed in August and he’s been on dialysis since. I understand the process. It’s life changing and takes a lot of work and dedication. We call it his job. Three times a week he “goes to work,” and gets paid by staying alive.

I’m sorry you’re struggling and sorry for your loss. 💔

[chloe40 Administrator]

Oh Frankie24

I'm so very sorry to read this.

I am always here to support you.

It must be so very difficult for you, I hope you have support around you.

Don't keep it all inside,

Chloe

[Frankie24 in reply to chloe40]

That is the hard part of all this people seem to disappear from your life and not much understanding or support.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Frankie24]

So very true Frankie24

<3