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Have you suffered physical symptoms of grief?

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator
35 Replies

Hello everyone, I thought I'd visit this question as I am so often asked about this.

I do believe we can suffer physical symptoms, which are related to the deep sorrow we feel within us and the inner turmoil we feel for a long time afterwards. Often, once we have begun to make the inevitable changes in our lives, we feel better.

Has grief affected you physically?

Chloe

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chloe40 profile image
chloe40
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35 Replies
Bobben profile image
Bobben

The physical pain in my chest (from emotion) makes it hard to breathe some times.

Hello Chloe, bereavement to loved ones has caused me stress anxiety and everything that goes with a stressful situation. Poor quality sleep and loss of appetite.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to

Hi Hidden

You know Jerry, I think we suffer so much stress and anxiety with grief that it can then develop into all manner of health problems and I think our appetite is the first to go!

I do hope you're picking up now .

Chloe <3

Greyone profile image
Greyone

MY physical symptoms echo others. When I grieve alone, my crying feel heavy and prolonged and can say with me till bedtime. This gives me a very dull headache that stays with me and triggers the same set of emotions until I try to relax.

All this gives me a tremendous feeling of tiredness.

As I write this, I am just resting after such an event and wondering what to do about it.

BetterFlyAway profile image
BetterFlyAway in reply toGreyone

Hey Greyone,

I can definitely relate to the physical and emotional symptoms you are experiencing. I would like to recommend a video that help with my headaches and I hope this will do the same for you. - youtube.com/watch?v=TdYWtHb...

I would like to recommend meditating on a daily basis as this will calm down the nervous system and help with breathing techniques. Most of us breathe incorrectly and this causes a lot of tension and strain in our bodies. Here is another video I also use on a daily basis: youtube.com/watch?v=9B_NSBW...

I really hope you will feel a lot let better soon!

Best wishes!

Greyone profile image
Greyone in reply toBetterFlyAway

Hi BFA - I like Light Meditation at the moment, it gets me off to sleep easily. Unlike the time I tried mindfulness meditation.

Unfortunately the links you included don't work for me. Could you try re-posting or DMing the URLs ?

BetterFlyAway profile image
BetterFlyAway in reply toGreyone

Headache relief guided meditation: youtu.be/TdYWtHb6yWQ

BetterFlyAway profile image
BetterFlyAway in reply toGreyone

Tension release: youtu.be/9B_NSBWGYCw

Greyone profile image
Greyone in reply toBetterFlyAway

HI BetterFlyAway.

I'll certainly look at them today, they sound interesting.

Got up this mornin' feeling good with purpose. I plan to have a great day. Hope you do too thx.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Hi Greyone

Really sorry you're going through this alone but we're here for you, though I appreciate it's not the same.

Now that you have recognised what's happening, maybe you could incorporate something that relaxes you during this period, maybe reading something you're really interested in, do hope you find something to distract your mind.

Chloe <3

Greyone profile image
Greyone in reply tochloe40

One nice lady on twitter recommended just relaxing music. At night, I also find that Jyothi Meditation works for me.

BetterFlyAway profile image
BetterFlyAway

I recently lost someone dear to me that died in a car crash last year in November 2019. I am still grieving and at times cry privately in my room alone. It breaks my heart that I was not there for him as I feel he was suicidal.

It was a complicated situation because he betrayed and hurt me on numerous occasions. I held on for two years but in that time he did not appreciate my presence. In the end I was just someone there for him to lean on. He had relationship issues and came to me in times of comfort. I was unable to provide this comfort in the end because I felt he did not care about my feelings anymore. I had to let him go in the end.

The last time I spoke with him was back in March 2019. A few months passed by and then found out he got married. This was the time I blocked him on WhatsApp and officially let him go. He was married only 4 months and in December this was when I found out about the car crash via social media.

I know in my heart that I have to forgive him as this will give me peace in my soul but blame myself as I was not there for him in the end. I wish I could have saved him. :(

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply toBetterFlyAway

Hi BetterFlyAway

A very warm welcome to our Community.

I'm so sorry to read of your loss, such a difficult situation for you too. I think you're absolutely right about having to forgive him to find peace yourself, that is exactly what I did, and after 10years of grieving, the pain was gone! so please try and find a way to do that and save yourself so much anguish. You deserve to find peace.

Chloe

Aisha12 profile image
Aisha12

I’ve recently started to have a breakout of shingles (reoccurring), I’m 28 years old, and the first thing my gp, or any other doctor I’ve seen says about it is that it’s stress related. I broke down in my doctors office, and he said the first thing I need to do is treat my grief. I’ve never coped with losing my dad, and in the 3 years he’s been gone, my grief has manifested itself through many health conditions. Before my dad passed away I was healthy, fit as a fiddle. Since he’s passed I’ve had one thing after another with my health - all stress related. I have never slept properly, and in the past few days I’ve been dreaming about my dad every night. I guess I’ve just suppressed everything, but I honestly thought I was coping - I guess not.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply toAisha12

Hello Aisha12

I'm not all surprised to read your post and I'm really very sorry to learn this. You seem to have mirrored my own grief and the health related issues , mine seemed to continued until I finally allowed myself to forgive my dad but yours is a different situation but I do hope you find a way that changes your situation. I buried myself in learning and taking volunteer roles, it really does help and less time to think of other things.

Take good care of yourself.

Chloe

WeeNanny profile image
WeeNanny

The only thing I have experienced is lack of sleep. I wake up several times during the night, don't have an afternoon nap, don't wake up refreshed. Told my GP this but she is very reluctant to prescribe sleeping tablets. I keep active during the day, take my dog out but still sleep doesn't come easily at night. At my wits end.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply toWeeNanny

Hello WeeNanny

Ooh, so sorry, lack of sleep is soul destroying isn't it? I still haven't go the answer to this one but you're doing everything we are told, exercising your dog and not napping. One thing, do you switch off your computer or tablet etc at a reasonable time? because it can affect you, it certainly does me if I don't come off at a reasonable time.

Keeping your mind occupied with maybe reading or something that you're interested in should help a little, but I feel we soon fall into a pattern of waking up and that's so hard to break.

Best wishes and good luck, if you do find something that works, please do share with us.

Chloe

WeeNanny profile image
WeeNanny

My laptop and tablet gets switch off at roughly 6pm, before I go to bed I read a magazine then go to bed. I am tired but sleep evades me

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Sounds good WeeNanny

Maybe a chat with your doctor may be in order now. I do hope you find something to help you sleep soon, I really empathise!

Chloe

Brina423 profile image
Brina423

I cry to the point of throwing up and shaking I’m so lost with out my mom it literally kills me I’m a emotional wreck with health problems and adhd.:(

Aisha12 profile image
Aisha12 in reply toBrina423

Im so sorry you’re going through this. I was at this point too, having crying fits and getting myself in such a state where I would just shake for ages afterwards. If you haven’t already, maybe seeing your GP will help with the extremity of emotions you’re feeling. I hope you feel better soon. If you need to talk or just vent, I’m just a message away. Take care xx

Brina423 profile image
Brina423 in reply toAisha12

Thank u yes I have a gp but it’s hard to explain to her wen in fact I have no clue myself what I’m going thru Aisha I feel guilty for everything like my mom ain’t eating is she hungry slpy ugh it is so hard I actually thought about calling a psychic just to c if I could talk to mom this is crushing my heart ugh I just don’t know

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply toBrina423

Hello Brina423

You're going through such distress right now, I really feel for you {{{hugs}}}

Please do make an appointment to see your Doctor but this time, write down everything that you think and feel, all of it, no matter how garbled you may think it is, it's so important. If you have a friend or sibling that could go with you that would be good too as they will often be able to recall more of what the doctor said and advised.

This will be a positive step forward for you, be brave <3

Chloe

Arniestal profile image
Arniestal in reply toBrina423

I feel your grief, I've cried so much my eyelids were affected by all the tears. Tears constantly ran down face without me knowing. Crying so much I had to stand over the sink as the torrent fell.

Yes like you guilt, terrible crushing guilt. Why didn't I see signs. Why didn't I take her home with me. Sooo many things to feel guilty about. It still crushes me at times, the slightest thing will set it off. You just have to let it wash over you. I'm not crying constantly now, there is hope, you will feel lessening of it. I won't say I'm better 3 years on I'm so different, I have depression but just take one day at a time. Love to you.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply toArniestal

Hi Arniestal

You will get through this {{{hugs}}} allow yourself time and please try to have some me time, something that makes you feel good, even if it is only a short period each day<3

Chloe

Arniestal profile image
Arniestal in reply tochloe40

Thank you, you look after yourself too.

Brina423 profile image
Brina423 in reply toArniestal

Thank u for sharing yes it hurts omg I never felt like this in all my life I am getting a lot closer emotionally with my dad I called him up yesterday and said poppa momma ain’t here and I need advice he said oh boy let me sit down 🥰🥰 he remembered how long mom and my conversations lasted:) then at the end of the call about a hour later he simply said Brina I have no clue what the heck u are talking about he said here is ur auntie number call her :) but my dad actually sat and listened he is older and I still didn’t get help but he sure put a smile on my face and he hugged my heart 💜

Arniestal profile image
Arniestal in reply toBrina423

I know my dad is no supstitute for mum in any way. She was my best friend and we had lovely long chats together which I will miss till the day I die.

Brina423 profile image
Brina423

Thank u chloe {{hugs}} to u ur a great help to me :)

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Always here for you Brina423 you know that <3

Chloe

Brina423 profile image
Brina423

I wish u was closer <3 it’s like all the good people are far far and away pikeville Tennessee is a small small town

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

I'm only a message away Brina423 <3

Chloe x

Arniestal profile image
Arniestal

Yes I have had physical symptoms, my hands shaking, a real feeling of a hole inside me. The feeling of collapse to drop to my needs, I could go on it is definitely physical as well.

Brina423 profile image
Brina423

Chloe40 hi :) yes grief has made me so sad that I gained weight and I ate food every time I’d cry I learned that I am a emotional eater which btw I think I’m finally on the right combo of meds now :)

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Hi Brina,

Lovely to hear from you! <3

Yes, grief affects us in so many ways doesn't it?

Really pleased you have found the right meds now, that's good news.

Look after yourself Brina <3

Chloe

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