This is my first time posting in the bereavement section of HU as I discovered the app for other health related issues I’ve been having.
I lost my father 5 years ago when I was 16 y/o and I cannot express how painful that was, although I’m sure some of you can understand. The first 1-2 years were unbearable. Hardly left my bedroom, ate or socialised during that time and found it extremely difficult to come to terms with the fact that my everything had been struck from my life with no answers. I was hospitalised for a period due to severe mental health.
Fast forward to now. I’ve just been diagnosed with Endometriosis which has completely consumed my life. It is such a debilitating disease and I don’t have much family support. It has brought back such dark thoughts and feelings from when my dad passed and I feel as though I’m slipping back in to that mentality after years of progress and healing. He recognised this illness in me 6-7 years ago and was the only person in my life that truly cared. Unfortunately GP couldn’t see the signs and after years of pain and suffering I have finally been diagnosed. I miss him so so much and going through yet another tough time without him by my side. Struggling to see why things like this happen to me? Am I a bad person? Do I deserve only to live with pain and suffering?
Just started antidepressants after years of pushing back. I gave in and took my first fluoxetine yesterday so hopefully these thoughts subside within a few weeks although I’m not sure how this process works. Any stories, advice or any kind words would be massively appreciated. Missing that wisdom and support from my dad so much it hurts.
Thank you and I hope everyone has a lovely Saturday xxx