Bereavement Care & Share
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What have you learned from your writing?

Hi everyone,

Such a bleak time right now isn't it and I read a post by Greyone discussing my post about physically writing down our experiences or even just bad days and how this has helped, especially when you look back and read how you coped or didn't cope! This helps discover what triggered certain things, how you handled bad times and how far you've come today.

Love to hear what you've learned about yourself by writing.

Chloe

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journaling is, dare I say, crucial. It re-looks, relates, and even relieves you from the pain . and when there is no pain...then it is a day to remember; write it down!

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Thank you abirke

Totally agree with you!

Chloe

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Hi Chloe,

I find writing enormously helpful, usually writing down exactly how I am feeling. One of the most helpful is writing down an action plan, a list for me to refer to when I need support. This has proved invaluable.

I plan to write every day but can go days without. I am working at this useful discipline.

Lottie x

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Hi LottiesWeb Lottie :-)

This is great news and I like the idea of an action plan, really helpful at difficult. times.

Chloe x

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Over four years ago, I decided to start a private blog anonymously as a way to help vent my unspoken words. That way I would have a permanent record to look back on and it would not get lost.

That's not the same as writing a letter through and when I finally achieved a GCSE English Language after 37 years, I decided to take up writing again because mine was terrible. So I find writing pen and paper letters hard, especially to mum. But it does allow me to think and write slowly. Here is what I discovered:

I can only write about things I know we used to or could talk about.

I have to write in a way which compliments the way I used to talk to her, slowly and thoughtfully.

When I write I have to keep stopping at points when I think she would want to say something.

Sometimes I find it better to go out somewhere quiet so that I am not inspired by my scenery.

I prefer to set aside a day and time for writing so I can complete the task, but sometimes I have to write as well when something is on my mind or when I'm worried. My favorite time is on Sunday Morning when I'm not tired and everywhere is quiet.

Although I think I could predict the subject that we talk about, the details sometimes surprise me because I think I spend more time thinking afterward.

After all, I've only been trying this for just over a week so hopefully, i 'll get better in a year. I have started to experiment with writing a letter to my future self as well. Has anyone else tried that?

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Hi Greyone

Thank you for an inspiring post, let us hope we'll hear from others who have done similar.

Chloe

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P.S I wonder if anyone one thinks this a good substitute for visiting. I am wondering if this will help me reduce my number of visits and so the amount of grieving and tiredness I endure as a result of each visit.

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I think it can certainly be in addition to and may even reduce some visits. Each individual will need to judge for themselves but I do think it will help in the very early days.

Chloe

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I must agree with you. I always fond my visits very tiring, especially since I have to incorporate other tasks on the day. My visits have got less tearful but last 30 to 60 minutes at a time I can set aside to cry and say as much and what I like. Yesterday I tried to write my letter instead of visiting and I had nothing to say so I think my visit would have been the same. I plan to write another letter next Saturday and make the following my next actual visit and after that, i may feel happy with just a monthly visit. I think next weekend also I will read through my letters and see what they say.

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