living bereavement

Bereavement is not just felt by those that have been left behind by those that have died.

BUT by those like my self looking after someone in final stages of dementia.

living bereavement grief is nothing to be ashamed of and is important part of grief living bereavement process.

Would be nice if living bereavement with in dementia care was worthy of mention ... But sadly as career for my father given the conditions there left at way side.

The talk of having good death but WHAT about having good life.

[Heady]

Hi, my husband has just died from PSP. For the last years he couldn't communicate at all. The disease took everything from him, speech, movement, some sight problem and swallowing. So yes, there is living grief. I lived it for about six years. Now i am facing the grief after death. I am hoping I have been through a lot of the phases, the anger etc. I had load of counselling during my husbands illness, which has and is still helping.

Lots of love

Heady

[Hidden in reply to Heady]

Hi Sorry to read about your and husbands troubles.

My dads in process of being bed bound and as trouble swallowing also he as heart issues.

We been threw it to and only got help in last 6 months.

Is horrid condition and horrific emotions go threw.

We have admaral nurse thats helping us and to be honest as been shining ljght of darkness despair we have all felt.

Am glad your getting help as can seem at points like fair weather friends.

If ever want to Chat am always about guess thats joys of being 24/7 career

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hello and a very warm welcome to you JeffAjaxSmith.

Sadly, as you say and as we have discussed in a previous post, bereavement comes in so many forms and few people understand that unless, like yourself, they go through the pain and distress of a living bereavement. I'm so sorry and I hope you find a small comfort knowing you can pop in here anytime and be with others who understand.

Take care

Chloe

[Hidden in reply to chloe40]

Hi Cheers i never heard of living bereavement but did explain stuff and more you learn about dads condition the more emphipfy you have.

As i have learnt experienced given my dads resent hospital admission with a broke dislocated hip.

The so easy neglected AND with me being ill .. I always said my dad given he's condition would not be starved or neglected.

And to my horrorthats what happened in hospital at xmas.

He ended up with sepsis hospital tried to say was pneumonia but was sepsis from catheter that trashed is kidney.

Is shocking how was left neglected given he's condition.

But now am a sepsis dementia champion fighting for better care compassion in our hospitals.

And even tho my dad suffered things are improving for other suffers and even tho my dad cant remember he would be proud and thats what gets me threw grief of is horrific condition

[jaykay777]

Jeff -- I felt grief when my husband was under hospice care and he began forgetting many of the stories he used to tell me about his life before we met. After a while, I began telling him his own stories like, "When you first started your own business, you met two men from San Francisco who offered you advice . . ." I grieved because I knew my husband had lost part of himself.

[Hidden in reply to jaykay777]

True i don't grieve for me I do for my dad and what is lost.

His lost so much GUESS the lucky the forget.

But then its the frustration they feel IS it any wonder the get agitated.

Think anyone would.

But am we are lucky my dad as retained is long term memory BUT as his moments when he don't remember us.

He as no short term memory tho.

But like your self we talk about stuff he's done places been.

THE talk about photos but when losing sight things are never easy.

[chrissapam]

of course you should be a valued member of society with significant and generous benefits..

perhaps with changes in our political and social system this will occur....meanwhile you are doing a super job...C