Interesting but so true for me

Found this article some time ago when I was trying to educate my oh on the illness I have (GAD) so he could fathom me out a bit more HA!

How to decode a person with an anxiety disorder

things we are trying to do all the time:

1. be safe

things we can’t help but do all the time:

1. second-guess ourselves

2. behave impulsively and reactively

3. take everything personally

4. worry

5. worry

6. worry

7. have difficulty accepting compliments

8. have difficulty reciprocating friendly gestures

9. have difficulty finding the courage to respond

10. have difficulty not being suspicious of others’ intentions

11. make a huge deal out of the smallest thing

things you should keep in mind:

1. we’re scared of everything

2. pretty much all of the time

3. it’s an actual disorder

4. it manifests as impulsive behavior

5. you can’t fix us with words

6. telling us “worrying is silly” won’t make us stop worrying

7. it’ll only make us feel silly

8. and then we’ll worry even more

9. “oh god, am i worrying too much? what if they call me silly again?”

10. like that

11. also, we wear a lot of armor

12. cold, heavy, affection-proof armor with spikes

13. we constructed this armor as children

14. we’re fairly certain you will never be able to pry it apart

15. but there is a nice person under there, we promise

things you can do for a friend with an anxiety disorder:

1. stick around

2. ask them if they’re comfortable in a place or situation

3. be willing to change the place or situation if not

4. activities that help them take their mind off of things are good!

5. talk to them even when they might not talk back

6. (they’re probably too afraid to say the wrong thing)

7. try not to take their reactions (or lack thereof) personally

8. (the way they expresses themself is distorted and bent because of their constant fear)

9. (and they knows this)

10. give them time to respond to you

11. they will obsess over how they are being interpreted

12. they will anticipate being judged

13. it took me four hours just to type this much

14. even though i sound casual

15. that’s because i have an anxiety disorder

things you shouldn’t do:

1. tell us not to worry

2. tell us we’ll be fine

3. mistake praise for comfort

4. ask us if we are “getting help”

5. force us to be social

6. force us to do things that trigger us

7. “face your fears” doesn’t always work

8. because—remember—scared of everything

9. in fact, it would be more accurate to say we are scared of the fear itself

emergency action procedure for panic attacks:

1. be calm

2. be patient

3. don’t be condescending

4. remind us that we’re not “crazy”

5. sit with us

6. ask us to tighten and relax our muscles one by one

7. remind us that we are breathing

8. engage us in a discussion (if we can talk, then we can breathe)

9. if we are having trouble breathing, try getting us to exhale slowly

10. or breathe through our nose

11. or have us put our hands on our stomach to feel each breath

12. ask us what needs to change in our environment in order for us to feel safe

13. help us change it

14. usually, just knowing that we have someone on our side willing to fight our scary monsters with us is enough to calm us down

if you have an anxiety disorder:

1. it’s okay.

2. even if you worry that it’s not okay.

3. it’s still okay. it’s okay to be scared. it’s okay to be scared of being scared.

4. you are not crazy. you are not a freak.

5. i know there’s a person under all that armor.

6. and i know you feel isolated because of it.

7. i won’t make you take it off.

8. but know that you are not alone.

8 Replies

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  • Yep, sounds like me :) x

  • Yes me too...forcing us to be social is a biggy, but we don't like to tell people we have anxiety. They don't know so forcing us to be social is an ongoing battle. I wish people new and didn't do this forcing thing.

  • Thank you xx

  • I shall not be moved lol I can relate to most if not all of that, thank you for taking the time to write it. I type with 1 finger, it would have taken me hours lol

    I won't be forced into anything, I'm a stubborn Irish redhead lol I dare them to try xxx

  • Ha that made me laugh, Im a very stubborn "I can do everything myself girl" ha...I just cant ask for help and I am very reluctant to accept it also...I know it would ease lots of things but thats just my way...ha xx

  • Thats brilliant,,,,, made me cry by the end but brilliant.........

    XX

  • oh dear thats scary...............its like this is my life. xxxxx

  • True for a lot of us

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