big mistake

hi I am new to this site, I joined because I have started to suffer anxiety, I am not sleeping at night because of this problem, its messing me up well and truly, I know what caused it to start

I was always in business through my life and could handle almost anything calmly, now I have gone and made a right mess of things, I went and sold a beautiful house I self built overlooking the sea, due to financial reasons I could not afford to live there anymore so I downsized and purchased a house that looked fine although I could see some work needed doing on it, after buying the house I discovered that I had bought a can of worms, the previous owner had used some good cover up methods on the place, to put things right would cost a small fortune, all I can do is try and correct things slowly, I even wonder if the place is structural sound, surveyors' T&C cover them so I have no redress against them, anyway seeing the doctor to for some help and learning relaxation techniques hope it will help me cope better, looks like I may have lost 150K + if things go wrong with this pig in a poke, ok for money at the moment, if the worst comes to the worst I will just have to sell it for the land value at a auction, I was so foolish I rushed into the purchase and ignored warning signs that i previously would have noticed and stayed well clear, I am aged 61 there is no fool like a old fool, I am really p***d off with myself for being so darn stupid.

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  • moving/selling your home is one of the top three most stressful things so i am not suprised you are anxious. we cant change whats already happened and its just one of those things you will leaarn by. in my opinion you have a roof over your head which is important and some poeple dont have that so focus on that even though you dont like the place. similar thing happened at my sisters place, the previous owner had filled holes in the wall with card board and painted over them really well, you would never of know untill she put a nail in the wall. your not the only one to be fooled over. its a sad fact that some people do do this cos i dont think i could sleep if i done someone up like that. in time you will live somewhere you love again. xxxxxx

  • I was always a worrier,but the same has happened to me,I moved house a year ago and the moment I moved in I went into big anxiety over the house.I thought I was just homesick.For 21 years I had a small(1employee and myself))business which was a good paying business.

    I sold the business when I was 61 ,and retired,as it was a small business I did not take any holidays except Xmas and new year,I done nothing but work.My husband and I lived in a beautiful 5 bedrom,3 bathroomed ,double garaged house,we lived in it for about 22 years.When I was 55 my husband suddenly died(an other story)he went into hospital for an angiogram but unknown to us his artery had been nicked,he was discharged but was slowly bleeding to death.

    So left on my own,and when I retired I could not afford the bills,gas,elec,council tax,ect on my house so sold it to move somewhere smaller,a two bedroomed cottage,as it is an old cottage,no matter what I do ,it is cold,Heating bills are no cheaper than my old house(probably of the fuel increases) and it needs money spent on it,like when stripping wallpaper in sitting room all the plaster just came off ,stripping bedroom ,damp patches and so on,work needed done on the roof,every room needed plastered,money pit!Now I worry all the time!anxiety worry,over the top,I worry will it need rewired,new roof,new heating,I think the floor is sinking,I don't allow visitors ,I think it smells,every room,I don't like going out as I hate coming back.I should be enjoying life,sitting back,but I can't.

    Every thing you wrote is me,this house looked fine just needed a few small things done,as a workman said to me the sellers were very clever,seen me coming,put in a new kitchen,a new toilet,wallpapered the house,looked good.I feel as if I was drugged or drunk when I bought it.LOL. Hate being away from my family,miss my old place,miss my son- in- laws.

    Feel or you as I no what it is like,sometimes can't stand the pressure in my head.I was always so careful,thought things through ,sometimes I think I am being punished for something I have done(don't know what,I,ve always tried to treat people how I would like to be treated)I will need to go to Rose,s tree house to calm down.Hope we both can find a solution.AND wait for it,I,ve also been thinking sometimes,is it haunted?I won't say anything in the house about it incase it "hears" Hope it can't read!!!

    Hope I have not made you feel worse,all this ranting just to let you know you are not alone

  • I think it sounds as though what you are experiencing is true grief - for your husband, your old house and your old way of life. It's a sort of rage against the world. Have you tried to get any help - apart from this site, I mean?

  • Wow,I,m exhausted with that.

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