Can't sleep!!

[Haze78]

Been awake since 3am. Suffering with GAD and mornings are always the worst. Usually by the afternoon my anxiety seems to subside a bit/not so intense, however it leaves me feeling so physically tired and exhausted. Been struggling to take my child to school in the mornings and get to college on a Tuesday. I wake up with this ball of anxiety deep inside me. I feel sick to the point of heaving, tummy pains, can't eat and I feel weak. I don't quite know what to do with myself to try and take my mind off how I feel, so I googled anxiety uk and decided to blog how I've been feeling lately.

[ilsonbunny]

Hi Haze

welcome to the site. There are some great people on this site who are all sufferers and understand what you are feeling, I have suffered for over 35yrs and thought surely no one could have Panic/Anxiety attacks as bad as me.

I think whats worse than the Panic Attacks are the constant feeling of SOMETHINGS GOING HAPPEN which is why we are knotted up in a ball all the time and feeling Anxious. I f anything was going to happen it would and you could not stop it.

With your Anxiety you can control it. We all have different mechanisms we use to divert our Anxiety. The fact that you cant take your mind of it FEEDS the Anxiety. Accept that you have this disorder and IT WILL NOT HARM YOU.

I got to a stage where if I happened to feel less anxious I had a Panic Attack as my body was not used to it. You dont say what support or treatment you are having for your GAD maybe if you have not seeen your GP thats where to begin.Although I guess you have

We do not judge or think anyone is BARMY so dont be afraid to ask anything. Thankfully this site is not FACEBOOK so we do not discriminate or offend people we dont know.

Keep us posted xx

[Kaz12345]

Hi Haze, welcome, I've only joined a few days ago myself and people seem very kind and do not judge. I never thought I had panic attacks as such, always been a worrier, but so bad recently that my thoughts overtake me and I suffer from heaving and gagging when it gets bad (usually when I wake up). Nighttime and mornings are worst for me too. I am going to try cbt shortly, may be something you could look into. I have kept thinking I can fight this, it will get better by itself, and feel weak because I can't seem to control it. but coming round to thinking medication might help or is needed.

There are people here who understand.

[Haze78 in reply to Kaz12345]

Hi, thank you for your comment, means a lot and feels good to know I'm not alone. Understanding each other and supporting each other is definitely the key. I really hope you can get help and overcome this too. I have been here before. 15 years ago I had a baby at age 19 then lost my dad to cancer 2 months later. I beat it then and I can beat this feeling again. I am never one for taking medication. Won't even take anything for a headache, but I realise this time I need a little help, just to get me past this. I have been prescribed diazepam and an anti-depressant and I have been told that although the diazepam is addictive it will leave me feeling so calm and relaxed. I will update you and let you know how the medication goes and if it has helped, and hopefully that may help you too.

[schneck]

Hi Haze,

A warm welcome to the side. Have you tried getting up diverting your mind, I know it isn't easy but give it try. When I cant slept I get up and clean the house or listen to relaxing music. There is self-help book which is excellent by Charles Linden, Google him. He has some great advise. It helped me through my bad period of anxiety. The other option is to take up sport, which really helps too....People with GAD never switch of their minds, so we must fill our day with not with stress but with thing we enjoy doing. It does work, but it will take time. Let us know how you get on.

Best wishes

Schneck

[Haze78]

Thank you everyone for your kind words.

Unfortunately it has been so bad this morning I have vomited about 6 or 7 times. I wish I could get up without upsetting the whole house too. I tried to take my mind off things this morning by coming onto this site. My 6 year old woke up and couldn't find me and he's been very upset this morning, he can obviously sense something is wrong. He's been awake now too since 4am, so there's no school for him today now, which I feel truly awful for. I went to the dr's on Wednesday and she felt she didn't want to give me any pills, but instead refer me for therapy (have an assessment for that wed 6th). She felt medication would only paper over the cracks. I am feeling so bad, however I really feel I need something for the moment until this assessment, just to get me by. I hope someone can relate to this as it definitely helps to know I'm not alone.

Thanks again

[Hidden]

Morning Haze, Im always worst in the morning so can relate to it.... you know it will pass but might be worth going back to gp and telling them how it is affecting your everyday life and maybe they could give you something short term to help you through until the referral.... only a thought, its what I did.....but you have to be honest with gp and let them know how you feel...

Let your feelings out on here, you are amoung people who understand and this site has helped me greatly...

I hope this helps a little,,,sending lots of love xx

[Deecey]

Hi Haze

I too suffer with GAD and the mornings can tend to be the worst, so if i wake up way to early with that intense ball as you call it in the pit of my stomach I normally get straight up, go make myself a cup of tea, get my book out and start writing stuff down, I do a bit of ironing and just try my hardest to divert my thoughts...I do also try going back to bed and this does work...When my GAD is very bad sometimes it can be quite late in the day before I feel any kind of release, i think sometimes my brain just switches off as it gets exhausted...Exercise helps me a lot, especially going to classes, and walking, this is a natural way to boost that serotonin in your brain and be out and about with people, even if im feeling like theres no way I could stay i say to myself go and if you cant stay thats fine at least you've tried something....This site is great and everyone on here can relate and theres always someone around day or night...Remember as a mum you'll be busy so be nice to yourself, treat yourself and take time for yourself, as mums you sometimes forget the person you use to be before they came along, its important to just be "you" on occassions...kepp in touch xxx

[Haze78 in reply to Deecey]

Thank you for your kind comment. I tried the diversion this morning, but woke up the house, causing upset, which only made my anxiety worse. It's definitely the dark mornings that get to me, always feel better when it's daylight. I am exhausted with this and it only started Monday. Actually thought it was a tummy bug on Monday. I've been back to my gp this morning, who I cannot praise enough. Seeing the state I was in I didn't have to even say much. She has prescribed me diazepam and an anti-depressant. I am aware diazepam can be addictive, but I need to get over this feeling that I have at the moment. I have been down this road before (15 years ago at 19 when I had a baby then lost my dad to cancer within 2 months). I overcame it all then and I know I can do it again! xx

[matosh]

I can relate to what you say...i don't sleep well at night and yes mornings r worse. Even though i may go to bed relaxed the night before but i wake up worrying. All the negative things in my subconscious mind comes too the front mind in the morninggs and the worry cycle starts all over. It's worse in these dark mornings. I like staying in bed a for few minutes after waking up but this is r my worst enemy as i tend to fill them with worry. I avoid all morning appointments as i feel dreadful in the mornings.

All i try to do now is to try and get up and do something even i feel exhausted and as the day progress feel some relief. I try to walk or goio to the gym and it helps a bit. yes it's hard but i 'm working on it.

All the best