I have never talked about my anxiety to anyone before including my long term partner even though she has called me a hermit in the past .
I have been looking back through my life as far back as i can remember and it all started being dragged to school as a young boy probably 6 or 7 not sure as i do suffer from memory loss .
I am now in my early 40's and i seem to be getting worse even going to the diy shop is a nightmare just been today and i couldn't wait to get back in the car .I just don't know what to do about it all as I am getting more and more depressed by the day .
I went to see the doctor a couple of months back and they wern't very helpful i thought at the time i was suffering from depression and spoke to doctor about it and she wanted to put me on anti depressants and i said no ,she did give me a nhs number to ring but i didn't ring it.
I always seem to suffer from anxiety more around christmas and the new year and sometimes do rash things like 4 years ago i gave my job up about 1 week after my 40th birthday and have been struggling to find work ever since .
I feel like going to live in a cave on my own even though i love my partner so much i just cant cope much longer