How many are looking forward to Christmas?

[Annadove]

I take it that some of you, like myself, are not looking forward to Christmas that much - if at all? It reminds me of so many Christmases in the past and the feeling of not having moved on or grabbed life by the scruff of the neck. It invariably wriggles free anyway!

[Cleaner]

i am not looking forward to christmus to. I am in a bad way at the moment with clinical depression and seeing someone from the mental health crises team every other day to try and keep me here.

[PoppyRose in reply to Cleaner]

Hi

This is a general statement - not intended directly to you.

Christmas is a time when Jesus was born, you may chose to acknowledge that or not depending on your beliefs. The extreme as to which people celebrate this event is 'their choice' so I say to everyone please DON'T get wound up by what everyone else is doing, spending or organising. If you believe; celebrate it YOUR way, and doing it quietly or privately is....OK.

It's 'others' that make you feel bad. Your health comes first.

Take care. xx

[fadedlizard]

Hi Anna,

Yes, if you've read a few of our recent posts you'll see you're not the only one who's not feeling festive. And feeling really rubbish about not feeling festive too!!! Like you I'm really struggling with the feeling that life has passed me by and nothing anyone says to me at the mo is making that feeling go away so I'm now trying to ignore it!!!!

I've got two weeks hol coming up over Christmas which any "normal" person would be looking forward and I'm absolutely dreading. I feel safe at work. I'm occupied there. At home I tend to drop into a crisis. I haven't taken any long breaks for ages to avoid this and now I'm so scared it''ll happen again.

Sorry this isn't an especially helpful reply but no you're really not on your own.

Keep in touch.x

[manu72 in reply to fadedlizard]

I feel just like you

Manux

[Annadove in reply to fadedlizard]

I really emphazise with this. Christmas throws your life into sharp focus and the lack of christmas cards, jolly parties, etc. etc. but mainly the fact that I've never really established any relationships head butts me in a very unpleasant manner. The copses of christmases past rear their ugly heads and I've feel so so redundant to society. People say, '...it's only two days'. It is ten days of misery for me. Best of luck to you. I've course I'd be delighted to keep in touch. It's great, though, that you have a job where you feel secure.

[Pennylayne]

Christmas is such a difficult time for many people, those with anxiety and depression and other mental health issues.

As you said it's the memories and reminders .......the ghosts of Christmas past, the passing of time.

I have now got into the habit of looking on Christmas in a detached way and not trying to make myself feel that I should be jolly or festive etc. There is nothing to say you have to be, other than all those adverts trying to sell us things we don't need.

I think we can expect things to be a little more bumpy than normal around this time ......a bit like seasonal 'turbulence' ......but afterwards things will go quiet again.

PL

[anxious_hb]

My anxiety is centred around work and the chance to have a week off and spend time with my family is a great medicine for me, however it's the come down from the high of Christmas and facing another year that fills me with dread.

[Annadove in reply to anxious_hb]

Annxious_hb - my other reply was to fadedlizard, but thanks to everyone that took the time out to reply.

I can emphazise with how you feel too. There is a real down period after the build-up and while nature starts to regenerate itself, I don't!! Sorry to be so depressing.

[PoppyRose]

Ditto anxious hb - me too!

For me it's all the hype around Christmas. The media, marketing, money (or lack of), sudden pressure to entertain, meals AND worst of all the 'sudden' expectation from everybody that we all have to be on best behaviour, show love to one another, not offend, fall out etc....

Where does it say that after being vulnerable 11 months of the year you suddenly have a 'reserve' to dip into that gets you through the worst month of the year?

I've had a lousy evening and feeling pretty sore and angry and now feeling guilty for being cross with my daughter who was sick today, and my hubby for not standing up for me (or at least correcting her) when she was rude to me this evening. So they've all gone to bed and I'm sat here seething with chest pains... again!!

[Annadove in reply to PoppyRose]

Oh dear, I allowed a friend to upset me this am over a laptop he claimed was faulty - not. I had the embarrassment of taking it back to John Lewis. Actually, I am totally to blame for talking him into it. I was so uptight and the accumulation of things that went wrong added to my already short fuse. He's apologised and said I could keep all the monies due back for my time and trouble, which makes me feel lousier still. I won't do that, but I am sat here feeling more than usual out of salts with the world. Hope you are feeling calmer by now.

[PoppyRose in reply to Annadove]

Yes, a little thanks... and hope your feeling less lousy too.

[Maya_dawn]

For me its the reverse. Spending time with family sets my teeth on edge. Christmas = being nice to everyone, trodding around on eggshells, so you don't offend them or make them angry, and gritting your teeth and taking it when people make comments about you to your face.

Plus, God forbid should you spend Christmas alone, for you must be sad and pathetic if you do.

Grrrr!!

[PoppyRose in reply to Maya_dawn]

Hi Maya, ditto your comments!

[Pickle165]

hi....the closer i get to xmas the lower my mood seems to be getting, i cant seem to shake it off. x

[PoppyRose in reply to Pickle165]

... listen... think of it this way .... people are running around frantically 'getting ready' and promoting an unnatural 'hyped up state' but I'm sure many have lost focus on what the are 'getting ready' for!!!

Poor them I say.

By the way what is it exactly that makes you feel down? can we help you with it?

xx

[hairyfairy]

Christmas for me is a much happier time than it was years ago when I was expected to join my parents at my uncle`s house because his place was the only one big enough for all of us to stay in. I never really got on with my parents because they were stuffy & old fashioned, & always treated me like a five year old with learning difficulties. My parents are now dead & Iv`e lost touch with all my other relatives who I wasn`t close to anyway, so I always have a nice relaxing time in front of the tv, or doing anything else that I want to.

[PoppyRose in reply to hairyfairy]

How lovely for you. What a positive outlook on Christmas fro you now.

[Maya_dawn in reply to hairyfairy]

Ahhh....you are my hero! You managed to do what I never could: saying to society at large "I'm gonna spend Christmas in whatever way I please, even if it means spending it alone relaxing in front of the TV, so sod all of you and your expectations!"

For me if I don't spend it at home I'll get lots of snide comments and anger from my mother, who ought to get a prize for the best guilt tripper ever! Sigh. Tidings of joy and comfort.

[Pennylayne]

Love your post hairyfairy.......sounds great after years of the duty Christmases.

Hope you have a lovely chilled out day when it comes doing whatever takes your fancy.

[warren218]

Looking forward to it being over quite honestly. This time last year I had a nice day with extended family, I was sort of reconciling with my ex-girlfriend and I felt positive about the future. Now all that has gone, there's only gonna be four of us around the table plus the dogs, I am gonna do my best to enjoy it and not be miserable for their sake. But I really have little interest in it this year.

[hairyfairy]

Thanks for the approval, because people like me are often seen as sad & lonely because wer`e alone at Christmas. T he people I feel sorry for are those who still feel obliged to spend the festive season with people they would normally avoid like the plague. I wonder if you can guess which films are my favourite at thiis time of year, yes, it`s scrooge, especially the one with Patrick Stewar, in fact I love all of the films of Dickens stories.

[thunderacer in reply to hairyfairy]

Hairy fairy you have the right idea! We put to much preasure on ourselves to live up to other people's expectations and then blame ourselves for not fitting in! What crap! What is wrong with doing what you want? Make plans, don't make plans, do a mega shop, don't, shops are only closed for a day! To much stress for no rewards and arguments, do what makes you and family happy be nice and if people only want you for expensive gifts they have lost sight of what xmas should be about

Steve