hi everyone, i have never done this before so even feeling anxious about typing this...I have suffered from anxiety since i was 12 years old i was playing with my pal who got hit by a car and died, needless to say death has been a big fear and the fragility of life. Time went on and as the years lapsed i did not know that i was experiencing acute anxiety i just thought that i was going mad. My teens passed and I married and have two wonderful children who it would appear are "normal", thank God. all that time is just a haze i cannot remember very much of it.(My husband does not have a clue how this illness works but is the most wonderful man on the planet) and through all that time almost 40 years have tried every conceivable therapy available albeit privately the nhs timescale for appts were unbelievable especially when you require help NOW.....At this point in time since maybe september i am experiencing what i would call a Blip! MY mood is low,the thoughts are back and the big black cloud is engulfing me i feel as though i am just existing I am waking in the morning with that gut wrenching feeling that makes you want to curl up and die, and thoughts that send my mind into a frenzy, some days are better than others. I am on medication long term which helps and for the past two years have been seeing a counsellor privately who i have to say is a gift, Its just this Blip that scares me rigid.. A big part of me knows that this is not permanent and that it is just a blip Its just that i would like to think that someone out there understands where i am coming from and encourage me while i am in this place... I only stumbled accross this website this morning and could feel the empathy of others immediately.
Can i also just say that anxiety is an illness it can be helped and that it does not make you a bad person as someone has experienced if anything i think if you suffer from this condition you have far more compassion for your fellow travellor.
thanks for reading x
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looloo
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Hi, that blip as u call it is an horrible place to b and is hard to get out of. Wen mood went down and I felt the way u do at the moment, I didn't know wat to do with myself. Even thou my partner was patient and good to me he didn't know wat I felt like. I felt so detacted from the world it was horrible. Now wen I'm full of an anxiety I relax in the bath with candles round me, and with sum relaxation music which meks my mind more carmer. Uve done well to cope with it for as long as u have, as my started march and I just didn't know wat to do or if it Wud go. I'm more postive these days. There r a few good books out that can help u get a more positive mood with it. There's one called at last a life and there some by Claire weekes, I don't know wat there called as I haven't red claires ones yet but I'm going to soon xxx hope ur feeling better soon xxx
Thankyou so much for taking the time to reply it is very kind off you,I will look for the book.
kindest regard xx
Hello
You did the right thing coming here to chat to people, you will get alot of good help and kindness from everyone here as most have experienced similar issues as you. So welcome :0) and I hope you find the site usefull.
I know how you feel when you say about NHS therapies being so unbelievable with their timescales for appointments, i did use the NHS for a time but i also used private services and services from charities which helped me sooooo so much as i my anxiety and deppression used to cycle and so when i needed help i needed it there and then and obviously the NHS can not really do that....so the easy access services from charities really helped to keep me going.
I have used samaritains (these were super and available nearly all the time) depression allience and anxiety uk, A site called living life to the full and During one of my periods when i was leaving the house quite comfortably i attended a group called stress pac, that was great too although not everything was specific to my needs but alot of the information has come in useful in helping me learn to control my anxiety.
thankyou caz27 for taking the time to reply to me with your advice it is very kind of you
it good to know that i am not alone in this.
kindest regards
x
Hi. looloo. Thank you so much for your blog and welcome to the site. What you are going through makes my recent little hiccup fade into the distance. Although I suppose it is all relative. Aren't you lucky to have such a helpful partner. They do not have to understand how we feel but just to be there is so important. I am well blessed in this way. What you describe is the good old 'roller coaster' or the 'yo yo' effect. This is so common in anxiety and is one of the most difficult symptoms to bear. We seem to get knocked down so often that we wonder if it is worth picking up again! But we always come back. That is why I say we are courageous people. Mornings can be the worse time and there are many feeling how you do. But all is not lost. As daisy says, get Dr. Claire Weekes book. You will find it is so YOU, and I am sure you will find the understanding very evident. Keep letting us know how you are getting along. We are all with you. Love. jonathan.
Hi jonathon going to take your advice and get that book i have been able to take so much solace in knowing that i am not alone on this journey. Keep being courageous, with kindest regards
looloo
Hi and welcome looloo. Yeah i can relate to the yo yo effect that anxiety brings on, its such a comfort that we have understanding partners and a supportive group such as this. I only joined this week and have found a great comfort that i can come and offload my woes and i can also try to help others. I have not many friends, actually, i really have not got any that i can talk to, no real close friends because my illness isolates me so much, but hopefully in time il be able to meet new friends now that im on medication again, maybe my confidence will come back and the blank brain during conversations will dissipate.
Anyways, welcome again and hope you get comfort in the knowledge that you are not alone.
Hi Lin, hang on in there i was once told that the thoughts are only that thoughts that they themself cannot harm us so ride with them i find sometimes that helps and the power they then have over me becomes less. Keep smiling and hey you have lots of friends..... count me as one
Life is so precious! And your experience at a young age would make everyone fear it and if it had happened to me I probably would too!
I on the other hand don't fear death!!! And alot of people find this wierd too!
I have accepted that we are here for a undetermined time and as soon as we are born we are dieing! I am more afraid of living! Especially when ill with "IT"
We are all the same yet oh so different, I hope your blip passes soon and I have only just found this site too but the comments are very helpful and genuine.
Hey steve thankyou for your communication it is very kind of you to reply no-one truly understands the nature of this beast unless you have experienced it for yourself. Keep well
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