WORDS.

Hi All. This site is composed entirely of words. But what are words? They are symbols of something else. If I say to you 'mountain' then the picture of a mountain will no doubt enter your mind. The word is not the thing; it is only a symbol of it. Words can be very hurtful. Suppose you went for counselling and the counsellor said, "Of course, you will never get over this". What effect would it have on you?' Devastating' is probably too mild for how you would feel. But they are only words. Why do they have such an effect on those who suffer as we do? Because we are so open to suggestion. In nervous illness suggestibility can be pretty awful. If, when in an extreme state, someone said you will cure yourself if you eat plenty of celery, then you would probably do so. We clutch at straws! That is why so many make a lot of money out of our suffering. We believe what they say because we are desperate. Whenever we write or say anything we must take care that we are not going to frighten or upset someone who is, at that moment, vulnerable to suggestion. Now on this site I have not once come upon this happening and I feel we can be pleased with ourselves about this. It is absolutely essential that the words are comforting and given with UNDERSTANDING.

But how can you understand unless you 'know'? That is the unique part of this site. We all 'know' otherwise we would not be on here. Mutual help is so valuable its importance cannot be overstated. To feel there is someone else on the journey with you and is suffering as you are is therapeutic in itself. There is a story of a man who said to his landlady one morning, "I have had it; I am going down to the canel and I am going to jump in". But, he said, "If the first person I meet smiles at me, then I won't do it". Are you going to be the first person he meets? Love and blessings to all. jonathan.

[downtoearth]

Hi Jonahan,

I love this post. I agree that words, even when we're not sensitised, are massively important. I can think of a few times when words were so crushing they stayed with me years even. When I'm sure a compliment would have been forgotten long before

'In nervous illness suggestibility can be pretty awful'. For sure. This makes me think of something the wonderful, late, Dr. Claire Weekes would have said. And it reminds me how when we're down there, when I was down there, even things, events and looks were suggestive of something.. not even 'just' words, but beyond them.

It is wonderful to find sites you feel at home in. I have known a few sites where blow-ups have occurred, exactly because well-meaning people picked the wrong words, the wrong grammar or the wrong CAPSLOCKS and the other person felt patronised or belittled or yelled at. And because we were all forming on-line friendships they were that much more fragile than face to face friendships and instead of getting over the 'blip', time and again the site would sort of implode and members would leave for other sites. I crossed a number of them elsewhere and it all felt quite sad and regretful.

It's posts like yours that remind me how beautiful an experience it can be, being part of a discussion board like this one.

[Hidden in reply to downtoearth]

Hi. downtoearth. I am so glad to come upon a Dr. Weekes quote. What a wonderful lady she was and what a legacy of help she left behind. I am also glad that you seem to be 'out' or 'coming out'. You will know what a painful and horrendous business this illness can be and words can be either inspiring or downright unhelpful. Yes, this is a wonderful site and to think I came upon it by chance. (Or was it?). Glad to hear from you. Blessings. jonathan.

[rouri]

love your post Jonathan as always, thank you for taking the time to pot, i always open this page at work to give myself some confidence and some warm feeling that people in here know exactly what i am going through. words can hurt sometimes, but people do not think how this will affect the other person, like some people will make fun of others if they did not understand a question, they do patronise as well which is sad. i came across people like that, it used to make me very upset, nowadays i don't care, i just put them in their place in a decent way.

no one should hurt anyone's feelings no matter what.

will catch you later

[Hidden]

Hi. rouri. Yes, it is good to know that when you open this page there are many, many people going along with you. Why do people make fun of what someone says? It is because they have no sensible coherent answer to what you say so they 'take the micky', as we used to say. It is their way of covering their ignorance. Instead of saying, "Now that is interesting, tell me more", they retreat into ridicule. It is a great step forward to say that you no longer care what they say. Neither do I. Unless it is from someone whom I respect. My old Councillor used to say. If someone calls you mean, do not get angry. Say, "Well, you may be right, I will look at it and if you are right I will thank you for pointing it out. If not then I will thank you for caring". Good luck and happy landings. jonathan.