one's own way of coping

I, like many others have all sorts of things to put up with, I honestly believe that the Life we have had sets some of us up for this Monster to appear in our lives, I had an hard Childhood for lots of reasons, and in 1977 I had an Ear Infection that made me lose my Balance for over 6 weeks, my Doctor at the time was arrogant and didn't help much at all, only when I started having Panic attacks he put me on Diazapam and there I stayed for 10 years!

In 1984 I had an Operation on my Right Ear and in 1996 I had an Operation for Cholesteatoma, called a Canal Wall down radical Mastoidectomy, a Tympanoplasty, to rebuild my Eardrum and a Ossiculoplasty to sort the little Bones out in my Ear, I was told before the Operation that I had a very small Throat and they had difficulty getting a Pipe down it but it was ok as it occured 1 in a 1000 and as long as they knew it would be alright.

No it wasn't alright, they caught my Throat and I was Vomiting Blood, and in the Recovery room I managed to pull all of the Packing from my Ear and a Needle out of my Foot, The Packing should have stayed there for 3 weeks and the Specialist was not amused that I had a 4 hour operation and then this! I had a "drop attack" for the first time the very next morning! I have never felt well since then. and along came the Monster!

I believe this Anxiety Monster is different to everyone, as I used to tell my Son, a Broken Leg is different to lots of People, to a Footballer or other active Sportsperson it is Soul destroying, to others it's bad and to some it is inconvenient, we all have our own ways of coping with things but sometimes a few tips are helpful along the way for us to try out.

I am trying to stop fighting mine as the more I let it win the more I get stressed out and feel worse, I find occupying myself as best I can lets me sometimes forget it for a short while, anything, like playing on the Xbox, playing music, watching tv etc, not always but sometimes it helps a lot, sometimes a little but any help is good to me, and other times when I push my self a bit more than I think I can it helps too.

I also am happy that I found this site as I believe knowing there are others in the same position and with tips that, hopefully can be of help to all of us.

Just to finish off................In 2004 I had Labyrinthitis and my Left Ear got much worse, now every time I swallow my Ear pops and makes my eyes move, my Eustacean Tube is blocked 99.99% of the time which causes this, I have a Nystagmus which makes my Eyes bounce from side to side, and I am Dizzy or unsteady most of the time, when I last went to the ENT I saw a Professor who was the one who told me there is nthing more that the ENT Department can do for me as I can't have an operation to cut the nerves in my left Ear as the right Ear might not compensate for the Balance and I could be much worse off! I also, since the Labyrithitis, have Nasal Polyps! oh woe is me, I can cope with most of it until the Monster pays me a visit, then I am done for for quite a while, but, with the help of my Wife of 44 years, I manage to tame the Monster for a few years but it does come back.

There are many, many People worse off than me, even though sometimes it doesn't seem possible, I am trying to think positive and fight through each day as it comes, we have an African Grey Parrot who is really, really funny, he also helps to lift my day, he sings, hums, is cheeky and acts like a 5 year old Child, amazing, until we got him 4 years ago I though parrot were like tape recorders and copied only what they hears, not so, he has a sense of humour and and intelligence I would never have believed possible, anyway, Life WILL get better I am sure for, hopefully all of us who have this nasty Monster which takes us over from time to time, I wish all of you the best of everything you need to conquer the thing!

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  • Just to add, the ENT have told me there is nothing else they can do for me as both of my Ears are bad, so what I have, I have for keeps, plus a Monster to try and tame!

  • welcome xx

    oh my lord I really feel for what you have been through. I totally agree that what happens in childhood affects us later on. I too had a hard childhood.. all we can do is to keep fighting using all the tools that help us. Never give up anxman .x

    brightest blessings x

  • Lotty, there is much more but I know I'm not alone in the things we have to endure, either with this Monster or as well as it, but, as in many things, People with the same or similar illnesses help each other at least as much as the Doctors do sometimes.

    Blessings to you and to those who you love too, x

  • sounds like a heck of a journey you've had my friend,and yeah,the terminology monster,i can relate to that mate.

  • Thanks Gordon, all the best,

  • hi axman ive always called mine a monster.i had an inner ear infection at the end of january this year, ive still not got full balance back nor full here my ears still feel as though theyve got water in them like when ouve been swimming.ive never felt so ill before as i did for about 2 months i had no balance what so ever, my husband bought me a wheelchair so he could take me, its important i go out every day as i have agoraphobia. so after 2 months of the same walls hubby decided enough was enough & solved the problem with the chair. im fortunate though, i havent had to endure what you have.xx

  • Janice,

    I truely hope you get over the Ear Infection completely, it takes time and some take longer than others, don't give up, I sadly seem to be some kind of expert on Ear problems after my stuff but I NEVER stop trying to be better, good luck to you. x

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  • Hi Anxman

    Your story was really intersteting!you went through a lot in your life and clearly it shows how strong you are to have to cope with everything.I wish I was strong like you.Pet therapy is also great and makes a big difference to our daily life.I wish you all the best and thank you for sharing your life with us.

  • Train80,

    Thank you, there are many things in my life when I was even younger that were just as awful and I believe it is the things that happen in our early life that set a lot of us up for this horrible Monster to be with us, I have managed to tame it a few times now and I am hoping I will be able to do it again even though it might return yet another time.

    I am so lucky to have a Wife who is amazing and is also my best Friend, she gets me through more than she will ever know!

    Best wishes.

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