That's how it seemed. When I wasn't totally engrossed in something.
By 'totally' I mean so totally that meant giving it 100% attention. Trouble being, as soon as I broke off, the flood of anxiety/catastophising was overwhelming and the dizziness kicked in together with a weird feeling that I wasn't part of this world. I'm sure there's a word for it - something like 'disassociation'. Today, moreso than over the past six months, I've been getting this weird sensation when I observe somebody - could be anybody - I think 'Wow, they have two eyes, a nose, a mouth and a head shaped head'. And it fascinates me. I know that I too have these attributes, but it's as if it's the first time I've seen a human - and I'm amazed at them because they're special - compared to me. This must sound really off-the-wall to most people, and frankly, I feel that it is whilst at the same time trying to tell myself 'It's because........ and it'll get better one day..... hopefully'.
Writing this reminded me of a song titled 'You're amazing'. Lyrics go:-
Ain't no doubt about it, you're a masterpiece
Adrift at sea'til I saw your face
Anybodys guess - now it's guaranteed
Sent to seventh heaven in my hour of need
Baby baby baby you're amazing
Taken by surprise
Don't waste time tryin'to explain it
Can't believe my eyes
Kind of apt - but I think I can resist the temptation to start singing!!