I'm confused.

[Littlecook]

I'm 62 yrs old and today watching christmas films I started thinking of my childhood days not good , I remember everything from my mom hanging my dad's socks over the fire place to the crate of pop behind the chair ,and opening the christmas presents 🎁, but then on boxing day all the presents 🎁 was locked up in a cupboard in the small bedroom by my dad ,I always thought of being a good dad but I didn't release how difficult it was with special need sons , both of them are grown up but I have so much trouble brought to me with all the lies from the boys , I so want them christmas but I feel like I will have a break down ,I can't cope anymore with my own health problems, my wife supports me and tells me to think of my self for once , sorry I'm confused and don't even know where I'm going with this hopefully you will work it out for your self's.

[Mamamichl]

thank you for sharing! I feel similarly sometimes. It’s hard to break the cycle of trauma. I had to disown my mother and go low contact with my father to keep my sanity from the trauma and have a good boundary and be a good mom to my kids.

Have you talked to your kids about the boundaries you may need for your own well being? You don’t always have to if someone is truly toxic, but it can be helpful if they may be receptive and respect the space. Even though they are your kids, you are not in obligation to have them around you if it causes turmoil. That is old school thinking.

[Littlecook in reply to Mamamichl]

Thank you for your advice.