need to get shut of this feeling

[dizzychar]

I’m a proper wreck at the moment, worried constantly it’s making me so miserable, I’m still trying to go out and about instead of locking myself away but even trying to carry on it’s not making things any easier. I’ve just recently started on meds a week ago, I was meant to have a telephone appointment for iapt but I missed it so that’s next week now. I’m always worried about my health and it’s all I can focus on, I’m not sleeping properly or eating, I’m obsessed and I can’t turn my mind off it

[Crystal89]

Oh DizzyChar. 😔 I literally feel your anxiety in your post. First thing, take some deep breaths. No, really. I know it's what everyone says.. "just breathe". But it helps to center your nervous system. Secondly, there is a lot going on for you, without knowing what the problems are, it sounds like it's a lot and it's getting on top of you. Living in a constant state of anxiety is horrendous. It completely over takes your life. I'm currently under doing CBT for my ibs problems and the thing it's teaching me whilst I work it all out is to break it all down. This might help you. Find a nice notebook and a nice pen that you like to write with. Start it, in a way like a journal I guess and section everything out..what about your health is worrying you. Break that down. Then you'll start to see where everything else is linked in. But first you just got to decluter the brain and the best way I find to do that is write it all down. Also, it sounds really simple but doing a little "5 things today", really helped me. Still does. What 5 things today were good. And it's the smallest of things. If you managed to have a good sleep. Or you managed to get out and about for a short while. Or you watched something you enjoyed.

I promise you, it won't always feel this way. Right now it feels claustrophobic and that this us all there is to life. It won't always be that way.

I'm happy for you to message me when ever you want to, if you want to. Just know, you're not alone.

Hope this helps in some small way. X

[dizzychar in reply to Crystal89]

thank you for being so kind, I’ve had cbt in the past aswell, sounds like it’s helping for you which is amazing

So a few months ago my daughter choked while we was out, it scared the life out of me understandably

Then I got abit fussy with food overthinking about swollowing, it did improve abit and I did eat relatively normally, but at the minute it’s been shocking, I’ve got it in my head I’ve got throat cancer, and I can’t bring myself to eat properly

Obviously little sleep and no food clearly isn’t helping with my anxiety either but I don’t no how to stop

[Crystal89 in reply to dizzychar]

I was scepticalat first about the CBT as I had CBT about 15 years ago when my ibs symptoms first begun. But it was group CBT and whilst it gave me some tools, the whole group aspect put me off. So when my gp suggested that I self refer to my counties talking therapy, and they suggested CBT, I was a bit disappointed. BUT I've given it a go. I'm still in the early stages, at the minute I'm keeping a symptom diary that makes me look at a few things like What/When/How I felt/My thoughts and My Behaviours. Writing it all down as and when I'm having an ibs episode, really makes me look at what on earth is going on. My condition has changed a lot in 15 years and I think that's why the CBT seems to be working better this time.Seeing your daughter choke is incredibly frightening and my goodness you must have been panicked. It very much sounds like since that incident, your brain has gone into safe guarding. You've experienced an incredibly scary and frightening situation, which came with no warning, and now your brain is on high alert. Which is why you're probably struggling to swollow. Swollowing is a reflex which we do without even thinking. But if we do think about it and subconsciously our brain is hyper aware that choking could happen, well, it seems like a normal response that your brain is then trying to prevent that by stopping the reflex of swollowing. Then the brain catastrophises further and makes you furthermore anxious about your throat. It sounds like these issues are a trauma response to your little girl choking and the fear that followed. Now your brain is hyperaware of the act of needing to swollow your food.

You said you don't know how to stop. And that's because it feels like these thoughts are there regardless of what you think or do. What you could try the next time an unwarranted thought about your throat or swollowing comes through, give that thought a name and tell it to go away. It's what I learnt on how to handle intrusive thoughts which is what this has become. You can say it out loud or in your mind. For the intrusive thoughts I had, I called them Billy. No idea why Billy but that were their names. When I had an intrusive, negative or anxious thought about this particular thing, I'd say "not now Billy, go away". And shake my head a little. And it worked. Over time, I found myself having these thoughts less and less. Not only that, but rationalising these thoughts is key. Again, you said you don't know how to stop it. You do have that control, although it doesn't seem like it, but you do. A massive part of CBT is taking control of those thoughts. So, as I said in my previous comment, write it all out. What are the negative thoughts. Why do you believe this. What's your brain telling you and what are the actual facts. Our brains lie to us all the time.

Most importantly, when it all becomes far too much to handle, look at your little girl and remember she is okay. And so are you. Choking is scary. But you won't choke. And if this was to ever happen to your little girl again, you know what to do. You're very much in control of this situation. It just doesn't feel like it.

I hope I haven't babbled on and on, sorry if this was a little too long.

[dizzychar]

don’t apologise I’m grateful for your reply, yes that makes a lot of sense I was telling my friend about it a few days ago and said exactly the same thing about swollowing without thinking but I’m obsessed, I said to her I feel proper stupid going off like I am but it didn’t stop me thinking about it over and over.

I don’t think I would get on in a group either it makes me feel so awkward and I doubt I would be able to speak, so hopefully they will get me doing some 1 to 1. It does make a lot of sense what your saying and I will try and break down my worries, I remember doing that years ago it’s worth a try

I just want to be normal lol and at the moment it seems far from where I want to be

[Jameshuh]

Hi dizzychar, constant worry is such a wretched feeling it is exhausting. Have you seen this video Paige Pradko put out about response prevention. It is not something that is easy to do at first but it can apparently be done over time. It is worth a watch and is another tool to gain control over anxiety over time youtube.com/watch?v=d0PI9HY...(Not working as expected?) I hope you find it helpful. Wishing you peace and health.