At the end of my rope

[Obsidian75]

I'm a 31 y/o male and I'm just at my wits end. Part of my biggest stuggle with anxiety (for me) is when you're at your absolute worst, there's nothing that can be done. I've dealt with anxiety since 2012, depression since 2010, and have had my major ups and downs, as I'm sure we all have. Right now I'm in probably one of the deepest lows I've ever been in and don't know how to keep going. I want to keep fighting the good fight, but again, even at my worst, going to a crisis center in the US means simply going and being told there's nothing they can do for me and being sent away to dwell in my panic and pain by myself. It literally takes all I have to move from my apartment, while feeling in the deepest despairs of anxiety, sweating profusely, depersonalized, derealized and hopeless, to be able to go to work. I am an ICU nurse (working nights working on switching to days). I also have been really good at pushing through my anxiety and doing things regardless and I have to say, this is the hardest it's been. and I've even been outpatient in a clinic for psychosomatic symptoms for 2 months (which was amazing because I lived in Germany and didn't have to worry about wages or sick days because it was all covered) and now I live in the US and it's very much different. I just dont know what's wrong with me, a few months ago, I was just getting into a new relationship, going on a year at my job, planning trips in the US and abroad, and now I'm paralyzed and the thought of doing anything is overwhelming. I'm seeing a new therapist and hopefully psychiatrist, but it's just so hard to push through to get through the shift, or to the next appointment, etc etc. My brain can't imagine me being in a successful relationship, job, or life right now. I think about how my life isn't even that bad and if this is the way I am, what happens when I experience real trauma and have to cope? I already fear going crazy and constantly having anxiety that that's the way Im heading, and then I can't imagine what would happen if I have to deal with something bad in my life. I just don't feel like there's any hope for me. I google and google for anxiety treatments and help and success stories, and I feel like there's strikingly few, and that discourages me futher. Like we can do so many amazing things with tech and medicine and yet I'm still struggling with thoughts? How is this fair, or supposed to be inspiring or helpful when I'm desperate for healing and help. I just don't know how to go on like this....

[Cat33]

Oh your post it brought tears to my eyes I can feel your pain so much and my heart goes out to you I hope I can be of some small help Don't know if you have already done this but if not please look into The Dare Response by Barry Mcdonagh That is a book but he also does Boot Camp which is an online course it says for people who want to "Finally overcome anxiety and live a life of freedom "

He suffered badly from anxiety so does know what he's talking about

I'm fuming that you have been told there is nothing that can be done of course there is

I was in a bad way with anxiety so I know what it's like too I learnt to let the feelings come do their worst then go and eventually I lost my fear of them It's adrenaline flooding your body but it always always dies down and nothing awful has actually happened to me I have imagined all sorts of scenarios happening but in all these years nothing bad ever has I've just felt the "fight or flight" feelings and that's it

When someone says they have stage fright somehow that always seems to be a perfectly normal thing to have but tell people you have anxiety and suddenly you are looked upon so differently but is it any different to stage fright - no

Dr Claire Weeks has been my saviour her books have got me through the worst of times Her videos are online too

There are hundreds of relaxation videos online My favourite person is Michael Sealey

Relaxation is the key ok now you can't think about relaxing but in time you will

Mindfulness is amazing too and going hand in hand with practicing letting the feelings come and not fighting you will feel so different

You work in ICU what an amazing caring person you must be and how dare that awful anxiety spoil it all for you

Be kind to yourself take it baby steps one day at a time don't fight the anxiety feelings but welcome them to practice and realise that yes it's uncomfortable but that's all

Be kind to yourself you can and will get through and over this and have joy back in your life It won't happen overnight but just know it WILL happen

Take lots of care I'm sending loads of love to you

[Yoga2011]

I feel so sad for you. You’re so young to feel and think like this and my heart breaks for you. Are you taking any medication? If not please look into some for your anxiety and depression, give that time to work whilst you see your therapist. No shame in taking meds and I’d be an anxious mess if I didn’t have mine. You WILL get better but it takes time. And you will have a happy life again. Do you have access to any CBT online? YouTube has good videos on how to get through an anxiety attack. Don’t give up and keep posting here x

[mentalhealthandme]

Ughh I totally understand how you feel man 🙏 lucky for you there's many people here that also understand and care. I hope things get better for you. I know they will, somehow

[carmie16]

I am 68 years old and I have suffered from anxiety and major depression many times, each time getting worse. I am currently in remission after changing my antidepressant medication s a few years ago. I was previously taking Lorazepam 1mg along with the antidepressant medications but no longer need it. Your title at the end of my rope caught my eye as that is how I have felt many times. In fact, in 2020 I was in a mental health facility for 12 days. My relatively new antidepressants have worked and I am my normal self again. For the last 20 years before changing medications I was on Zololt but it finally wore out on me I guess. Maybe you need a new antidepressant/anxiety medication? It took me some time of trial and error but I finally am on the right ones for now.

[01021968]

Hey bud let me tell you something. This might make u feel some what different. I’m 50. And have health anxiety. And let me tell you. It’s outrageous. Everything my body bows I feel it. I been to the er like 4 days in to days with chest pain stomach and more. I’ve been dealing with this since 24 years old exercise pretty regularly it helps but don’t stop it. I’ve seen many doctors over my life time and they all send me away after ecg. Blood work and then it’s back to square one. Todays date is 11/19/23 and for two weeks now palpitations feeling light headed and sick. And what can we do. I take meds for it but guess what it still happens. It really hard to injoy anything when you feel like u going to pass out r die. It’s really not understandable. Just know you’re not alone. And to answer your question about something bad happens what will it be like. Well put it to you straight because I won’t lie. What u fav wing now it really don’t get no worse. But the health system does nothing but give meds with side affects just know you not alone. By the way I’m in the us