hi everyone,
Just wanted to share my feelings with meeting new people. I was always a pretty shy person. When I meet people I know I can get along with, things are fine.
But when it comes to meeting new people or people I’m not too crazy about, I get so weird and can’t keep a conversation going. I get all nervous and probably unnatural.
I always feel like these people make up a reason to just stop talking to me and leave.
Is this normal or am I just weird?
Any tips on how to cope?
I get like that. Thank god for alcohol. I jwst a bit. There are some things the dr could give you. My only advice is "people arent looking that closely, they've thier own stuff going on. Thiee probably the same nervous as you. Be yourself, and if you think people really don't like you, move on, theres billions of us!!!! You got it😊
That’s true. Im happy with mu family life so I don’t feel the need strongly to have many friends but still it’s something I want to improve because sometimes I have to talk to people (kids’ friends moms etc….)
I’m not looking for alcohol or meds to get over this.
Im glad you dont hit the bottle or swallow pills. Keep doing what your doing and fill your Tinnitus toolbox, the more in there the better! Youll pick techniques from others. My only good one is that if its at its worst, go on a coach/bus even train, and the rumble of them and the passing scenery,maybe some tunes on , always takes me away from T for a good bit. All the best.
I have also had many mental illneiss if you would like to talk i am alwas here for you
hello and welcome to the group, I hope you find it helpful for you here.
I use to be very shy and developed social anxiety from being bullied and growing up in an emotionally and physically abusive household and punished and shamed for showing any signs of being proud of myself or trying to stand up for myself. As a consequence I also had no self-esteem or self-worth. I learned and believed things about myself and how others perceived me that weren't true. One of the best ways you can start to help yourself is working on improving your self-esteem/self-worth and learning to love and accept yourself. Most of us were never taught or modeled how to do this. There is a lot of good info on youtube about this, I also like the book "Drive your own darn bus" by Julia Kristina and her youtube videos. You might also learn more about social anxiety disorder and how to heal it on youtube or find a therapist who specifically treats it to work with.
I too was shy for many years. Then I realised I knew so many interesting things that I could hold a conversation with one or 100 people for as long as they'd listen. I came to realise that charm is a powerful tool in our arsenal of skills. So I watched charming people in action, good speakers and orators (you can find them on YouTube) and learnt how by copying them.
You can easily engage with anyone by asking them questions about themselves and their interests. Though don't make it sound like the Spanish Inquisition on a bad day. Flattery always goes down well so for openers compliment someone on something no matter how insignificant it really is.
Don't forget to smile and maintain eye contact specially to demonstrate your deep interest in what they're saying.
You can do it, Lalamom, everybody can do it, develop the skill that is, if you really want it. You have learnt things, discovered things, in your life that others will find of interest. Just remember that in your own way you are the equal of everybody that you meet. Oh yes you are.
It's time to cast off those inhibitions caused by negative influences from past days. Discard them completely as something you are growing out of.
It won't take long before your confidence grows, then it all comes as second nature. Most important of all ENJOY the impression you are making.
I suggest you start tomorrow.🤗
thank you everyone for the kind comments and encouragement!
Hi, Lalamom. I understand what you are feeling, even if it's not exactly the same. I have absolutely no self-esteem. My problems started in junior high and lasted until I graduated high school. Actually, things weren't going all that well in grade school, either. There was always some comment made to or about me, and I had bad things happen to me; I was treated very badly in school.
I have severe social anxiety, and don't like to talk to people in a store or be around ANYONE I don't know, or even people I do know, including family. I feel like people are staring at me and feel like they're not doing that to others.
When I was in college, things changed. People were more mature and respectful and didn't make fun of me. I still felt uncomfortable, but that was BC of being bullied in school.
The effects of those experiences (in grade school through high school), have stayed w/ me, even 'til now, and I even get uncomfortable around children (in a store or walking down the street). I think ALL people are thinking about me in a bad way. This is to the extreme, but that's how my yrs in school affected me.
There will always be people you don't know, around you, but if you don't give them a second thought, I think that will help. Try not to read too much into what you think they might be thinking. Once you leave the situation, people will most-likely not be thinking about what you had said, etc. That's what my therapist told me. People are probably thinking about their own problems, and will not even think anymore about the interaction you just had w/ someone or in a group of people.
As far as not knowing what to say or how to "behave" around others, for myself, if I have to, I ACT like I'm confident around people even if I really am not. That goes for speaking to them, also-(for me). I wish you the best!
Scared.
Scared
Scared of holidays :(
Scared
