Hey guys! I’m back, And while I’m thankful I’ve been away for so long (not suffering ocd/anxiety) I’m back because it’s come back full force.. as it usually does. I’ve been pretty much anxiety/ocd free for a while now, but over the recent few months, my boyfriend had talked about moving out of his house (him and his brother own it) and moving in with a friend. We’ve been together 3 years, given we’ve broken up a few times here and there, but we’ve been back together for a long time now. Anyways, when he had mentioned moving in with a friend, it sort of struck a cord in me. Making me envious and/or angry, that he’d choose to do that, rather than live with me. We’re 27 after all. So I had started thinking of other guys, past guys I used to talk to, thinking “what if” what if I had ended up with them, would I have a place of my own with them by now? And other thoughts. Then I had started to try and look up said guys on social media and such, because I was curious about what they’ve been up to in life, didn’t find anything, then let it go after some digging around.
Well, that’s when my anxiety struck. ROCD hit me hard, making me think I was being unfaithful, guilty of looking at other guys because I was unhappy in my relationship, and so obviously I had told my boyfriend about everything. He was very supportive, even though he was a bit upset at first. Long story short, we’re actually about to get OUR own apartment soon (and I’m super happy to hopefully be living with him soon) but I’m still suffering from ROCD currently. I keep questioning my thoughts surrounded by other guys. Like “oh he’s cute, you probably don’t love your boyfriend” or “oh, you want to be with that guy, not your boyfriend” and endless other frustrating intrusive thoughts.
TLDR; I know reassurance isn’t supposed to be asked for, but I’m hoping someone will have some insight, or even stories of their own if they’re going through/have gone through the same thing.
It can be so lonely at times.
Anxiety attacks the time after. 
Having a really hard time. 
Doctors, complete waste off time!
Break up after 27 years 
