I’m on this site as I’m feeling stupid after an anxiety attack yesterday. I knew it was anxiety but just couldn’t stop it.

[Ewloe]

I’m 9 months post out of blue heart attack at 59yrs. I’d had no risks & I exercised 4 times a week. I was fit. It’s left me with heart muscle damage, reduced ejection fraction and abnormal heart rhythms. I’ve got medication galore. I’ve been doing well- some psychological bumps but had support and felt I was moving forward.

Last week I was told I had a new dangerous heart rhythm needed urgent referral. That I had to pull back from exercise I’d been building up and not do anything to put strain on my heart till I’ve seen specialist. This floored me. I feel I’ve gone backwards. My usual support doesn’t get how I’m feeling and used words like. You need to get on with things, you could be hit by a bus tomorrow and die anyway.

I’ve had bouts of anxiety before but after a call from the doctors receptionist with what I can see now was not a very problematic issue, my anxiety suddenly overwhelmed me. It went from 20 to a million in minutes. I was imagining the GPS were going to change everything about my care. I don’t trust the GPs anyway. It’s like dr locum there.

I’m struggling to explain how awful I felt, couldn’t eat, crying, it was all going to be done to me and it would be a fight with them to get anything right with this overwhelming urgency to have it all sorted NOW so I could relax again. my daughter told me Iv a long term health condition I just need to get it in perspective. This awful feeling inside was awful. I knew I wasn’t being rational but I believed the doctors were going to get things wrong as historically they have been a battle over anything. It felt like the end of the world.

I’m going to have to deal with the doctors again. How do I not let this anxiety overwhelm me. I’m worrying already about the next time. I’ve told them about my anxiety but you’re in a system that’s not that understanding of how that actually affects you. I’m not on medication for it as I’m trying to avoid more medications and finding one that would be okay with all my heart medications is tricky. I’ve had some counselling. I’m feeling pretty stupid for letting things run with me away yesterday but need help finding something to help me through the next interaction with the doctors and receptionists.

Sorry for long post. If you’ve not been bored by it all any advice please.

Thank you.

[Abigaillove1696]

Hey there, it sounds like you’ve been through some scary stuff. Don’t ever feel stupid for how you felt, your body is just trying to protect you. It’s very normal given what you had to go through. Honestly YouTube meditations / guided / falling asleep to rain sounds, breathing excercies help a lot.

My therapist taught me to give my anxiety a name so when I started getting that noise in my head I could get a handle on it rather than thinking that every single thought was true. I call her Karen, and just say hey Karen I know you’re there what you’re saying isn’t true, I’m scared but I’ll get though anything . Ect

I’d feel so dizzy and have panic attacks and I feel you about the medication thing too.. I’m trying to taper off gabapentin for anxiety to manage it, it was helpful but ultimately the thoughts were still there I just wasn’t physically panicky . Proud of you for having the strength to go to counseling, it’s such a huge help, and I hope you keep up the good work.