Health anxiety at an all time high!

[Kellylou1712]

I for last year and a bit of had short bouts of shortness of breath, I went to my gp last year and they did an ecg, and referred me to a cardiologist for further tests - blood tests, ecg, echo and holter tests later and I have some benign arrhythmias. However my shortness of breath keeps coming back.. my cardiologist has said this isn’t to do with my heart but I can’t help but think I have coronary artery disease or something that wouldn’t be diagnosed from those tests.

Tonight I have googled shortness of breath and some other symptoms I am feeling at the moment, bad stomach issues, sore throat, and I have convinced myself I have leukaemia… I am so so frightened I know I have to book a blood test tomorrow now.

My last blood work was carried out in December 2021.

I don’t know why I do this to myself I really don’t but I just want to be at peace - health anxiety is the worst!

[Marysblue]

That is alot of worrying. Does anything help? Anxiety can feel.like heart problem. Cause stomach pain.Try to find something to help you relax some.

[Kellylou1712 in reply to Marysblue]

Hi Mary, thank you for your message - it means alot. Honestly the only thing that makes me feel better seems to be getting tested at the doctors for different things or running off to a&e in a blind panic and getting checked out there.. I feel at times it's just no way to live. Largely I am happy and outgoing and not really of an anxious disposition but when it comes to my health any little thing can cause me to think the worst and it can completely break me down.

[LW4078]

Kellylou, I am very sorry to hear about your health anxiety. I undestand what you are going through. Your post actually made me cry because I understand the mental anguish you are facing as I too suffer from health anxiety. I would like to recommend a book that I read a few months ago that changed my life. Self Compassion by Kristen Neff. It discusses sitting with your emotions (fear) and contemplating that you are not alone. To suffer is to be human. Also what you're going through is real, but it isn't Leukemia (most likely), its anxiety. Anxiety is very real and is painful. Therefore, acknowledge that you are suffering and be kind to yourself as if you were comforting a friend. The book also talks about how the brain tries to protect you by identifying things that are wrong and trying to problem solve, vs. focusing on things that are going well. This is why you're googling symptoms and booking blood tests and not focusing on how you are healthy. Your brain is trying to fix your fear by problem solving... But again most likely your real problem is the fear . have you talked to a therapist? I just started to a month ago... I think you would benefit too. Try the book, find a therapist, and find a hobby you enjoy that distracts you. That would be my advice. I wish you the best of luck.. Remember, be your own best friend!

[Kellylou1712 in reply to LW4078]

This was such a beautiful well though out reply, thank you so much. I know I need to and can do better when it comes to managing these horrible thoughts.

[Luna_Love143]

Hi. How are you right now any better? Health anxiety is the worst, especially these days with the corona virus and all. Try to relax. And my main advice for you would be to stay far away from Google. I know ( I myself am almost positive there is something wrong with my heart and am worried I have Coronary artery disease) Trust me I worry all the time and have had just about every test there is and it's chalking up to be my Anxiety manifesting other parts of my body. Try and find yourself a distraction. What makes your symptoms worse? and is there anything that helps them? And do you have a pulse ox to measure your blood oxygen levels? Maybe to ease your mind. Plus, it's a good item to have in your home incase you get sick one day. I hope you feel better. I am here if you'd like to have a little chat.-Luna

[Kellylou1712 in reply to Luna_Love143]

Hi Luna, I feel like my day to day life is being impacted I'll be running about happy with my kids and then all of a sudden get a little sensation in my body and be like 'oh yeah that's because I have CAD/Leukemia' and it's horrible to have my mind interrupt my day like that. I want to be able to deal with cold/flu like symptoms or something like shortness of breath which I am booked into the asthma clinic for without thinking the absolute worse all the time. I have an apple watch so always monitor my blood oxygen, take ecg's and I have a blood pressure monitor at home that I use too.

I did actually contract COVID back at the beginning of December, I may have caught a cold that is somewhat exasperated because of this? I don't know.. I'm testing negative on LFTs everyday.

Thank you so much for your message though, it really really is appreciated.

[marsbarr]

Hi I am sorry you are going through this. I don't have much to offer you medically. I completely understand as I too have health anxiety. Give your self a little credit, you at least go to find out things.. what I will suggest to you is stop letting Google be your Dr. Google will have you all over the place finding things you aren't even feeling. Try to relax and stop discovering what is not wrong with you.

I hope you have a better day.

[Kellylou1712 in reply to marsbarr]

Sadly I've had CBT before and the google cycle is just something that I can't escape even though I know it's a ridiculous thing to do.. but yes I know that's where I need to put my focus, I'm just so scared that something real is wrong and I'm not advocating for my own health if that is the case.. it's a process this anxiety stuff and it's horrible.. I'm so sorry to hear you suffer too.

Thank you so much or your message and kind words.

[Dixie9326]

Leukemia would have shown up in blood test you have had….a significant rise in white blood cells….and the chance of you having CAD at 30 yes old is nil…You’re certainly suffering from anxiety, as all the rest of us are,. If you need another test to help you cope, so be it..

I’ve been doing the same thing for years, thinking every symptom is something deadly and they are missing it. The sad part is I’ve wasted so many healthy years worrying needlessly..sucking the joy out of life.

You’re okay and until you truly believe that this cycle will continue all of your life.

You definitely need professional health to try and get this behind you.. it makes me very sad when I read these posts written by such young people and realize that if they don’t get a handle on this, they will end up like me…an older woman terrified of every health issue, real or imagined. It is absolutely no way to live, especially your young years, afraid you’re going to die ..I was an Emergency Dept RN and with everything I’ve witnessed my mind goes into great details of all of the “WHAT IF’S”…and after so many years I’m still here and worrying about the “What IF’S”…a complete waste .🤦🏻‍♀️.

Please try and find a good therapist to help you…you have nothing to lose but misery…

Take care and good luck…🥰

[Kellylou1712 in reply to Dixie9326]

Dixie, thank you, such a well written and thought out response. I can only imagine in your line of work and with your knowledge how I would be so many times worse than I am now. It was very brave of you to open up to me like you did. Thank you and thank you for writing to me and helping to settle my worried mind. I always say it’s because I love my kids and my life so so much that I want to try and guard it all as best I can, but I do know that how I think is unhealthy and I definitely don’t want to have these kind of issues regularly again as I go forth in life. I do actually think I need to try cbt or another type of therapy again. May you be well

[Golddogenzo]

I am so sorry that you are suffering with health anxiety the same as I am. I have OCD along with PTSD and health anxiety. So I have weird compulsive traits that make me think I need to take all my vital signs 20 times a day. It's a horrible feeling if you think you can't check your blood pressure or your oxygen or your heart rate. I am 65 years old and my body has worked fine all of these years but now my mind has decided it has a mind of it's own! I sympathize with you and hope that you can find some peace and happiness. I will offer one thing that has helped me some is start a good day jar. Every day write on a piece of paper one good thing that happened to you fold it and put it in the jar. After a month open the jar and read all the good things. Pretty soon the good things will replace the bad thoughts and it should bring you happiness. Blessings on your recovery.

[Kellylou1712 in reply to Golddogenzo]

Thank you so much for this! An excellent piece of advice and something my children can join in with me in doing. It’s nice to know we aren’t alone but I wish this on no-one and wish you all the best.

[SOPHIA24]

This is very normal for people that have health anxiety no matter what you do still gonna keep thinking that something is wrong the best to do is have all those tests done to reassure you I have the same problem and had the same test done and my legwork and everything is great I even get hard palpitations but if you look under anxiety everything that you are having is listed under there I tried deep breathing and meditation I got a book on Amazon written by Dr. Claire weeks about your nerves and anxiety it was a very good book in fact I keep going back to it and also the Dare book he actually uses the same ideas as Dr. Claire weeks did Good luck prayers are out for you

[Kellylou1712 in reply to SOPHIA24]

Thank you for your reply Sophia, it’s really appreciated, I will look into your recommendations!