here i go again!!!

[GJRWS]

hi everyone I just need to confess that although I swore I would never google symptoms again after the terrible anxiety I had a few weeks ago, I did last night. .. and it didn't make me feel any bette.r!!!!

I think I do it to try to get reassurance that the symptoms I am getting can have an explanation other than what I catastrophise it is and without the doctor suggesting tests that I will then have to wait for, continually fearing the phone call with the results. I don't even believe the results if they are clear ..even though I have very sympathetic doctors.

I have really built up a phobia to phone calls now and often switch them off completely ..not good ..as it leaves me even more isolated.

I am just a nervous wreck most of the time. I am on medication and have tried various drugs and psychological approaches over the years but I feel I am just battling against myself now until I die.... there is nothing for me.

My family are a fantastic support to me and I am not rich but have everything I need, I live in a beautiful place but I feel guilty that I am not thankful. I am just not interested in anything at all and things I used to like to do. I have to force myself to do but don't enjoy.

I know just what I need to do..get things checked out by the doctor, practise mindfulness more, go out for walks , get myself involved in something purposeful, but I still just feel it is all pointless and I am in the waiting room to die. ( not that I would ever take my own life...so don't go calling the ambulance!!!)

Sorry to rant but I know there are others out there who feel the same and will understand.i hate being so depressed and negative, I know it is not good for my friends a nd family to be around me.

[Agora1]

Hi young man

Right now, it's not about focusing on your age but your attitude with life.

We can be just as lonely at 20, 30, 40.. There are people who could be surrounded

by family and friends and still feel alone.

Nothing really changes as we get older, actually we become wiser

It's not very wise to have put yourself in that "waiting room" to die.

Life can be an adventure each and every day. Yes, even in what's going on

right now. People need people more than ever. You need to believe in yourself

more than ever now with this Pandemic.

You've made it this far in your life, don't you want to see where it's leading you to?

And no, I don't mean death. One day but not today, not tomorrow. So plan what

you would like to do til that long peaceful sleep.

You are so blessed in many ways. A nice home, surrounded by family and friends. I

know a lot of people who would trade places with you in a heartbeat.

Time to make some changes in your way of thinking. You know what needs to be

done. Now it's time for you to choose Life or just Existing.

I choose Life each and every time. xx

[GJRWS in reply to Agora1]

thank you, think I need to ask santa for some new bootstrap!!!!

[Agora1 in reply to GJRWS]

Go for it! Santa has some really nice boot straps.

I know, because I got a pair one year xx

[GJRWS in reply to Agora1]

YeH!!××

[Secret4706]

Literally read this and felt like you were talking about me. I feel exactly the same way. Also know that walks exercises and meditation will help but I never try as I just think what's the point it won't help. I suffer from extreme health anxiety and panic disorder and spend hours on Google making myself physically ill thinking about what I could have. Sending you hugs it's so bloody hard x

[GJRWS in reply to Secret4706]

Thank you, reciprocal hugs!!

[Secret4706 in reply to GJRWS]

Remember you are not alone ❤️