i am 46 yr old female who would reall like help overcoming anixiety/panic attacks they r bad housebound for 2 yrs bad

[NerevousLady46]

began about 3 yrs ago slowly now it is to the point i have not left home for about 2 and a half years at all for any reason

[FearIsALiar]

Hi! Have you tried therapy online?

Any reason why you are scared to go out? There’s usually a reason for everything. I experience anxiety and panic attacks as well. Maybe try taking baby steps? Try walking in your neighborhood and then go from there? Small progress is still progress! You can overcome this but you have to be willing to get out of that comfort zone.

[NerevousLady46 in reply to FearIsALiar]

very long reply i apologise.. ok i was fine up until 2016 used to walk everywhere do everything no issues really then in 16 i dealt with my baby passing away at 19 days old i knew it was going to happen but can you ever truly prepare for it then i got preg again in 17 lost that baby at 18 weeks along my water just broke still no idea how or why but gave bitrth she lived 2 hours... then in 19 my adoptive father who abused me bad passed away bringing bck a shit ton of stuff ive never really worked thru.. along the way ive had a few health scares of my own high blood pressure which i religiously take meds for now..i stopped smoking in 18 after one of those health crises after smoking for 25 yrs just quit cold turkey....but long story short i slowly stopped doing things going places it didnt happen all at once no i went out once almost had a huge asthma attack puking couldnt breath another time i was food shopping in line waiting to check out and my heart started racing i was hot n sweaty couldnt think straight all i wanted to do was go home so i did i walked outside called a cab lft the full cart right there fell awful aboutthat to this day but that is the day that pretty much did it for me.. and i have tried going to the corner store with my husband he is amazing holding onto him every sec i get thru it but i know he is there so i guess that helps but i dont have family or friends so no real supprt outside of him either n now with covid it makes me more nervous

[pblife in reply to NerevousLady46]

Hi, I really feel for you. I have been in a similar position. Over the last few years I have experienced multiple losses too and I became agoraphobic for 6 months. That was two years ago. This year, it's happened again. I sit on the stairs in tears at just the thought of leaving the house. I find the only way past it is to do it very very slowly. First thing I do is open the front door and get used to that for a few times. Then when I'm comfortable with that, next time I sit in the door step. Then I go one step out... I wait until I feel comfortable before going back in. Sometimes that is a long time. If I go back in when having anxiety or panic it just reinforces my anxious side. For me, walking to the end of the road seems too much, so I do less and eventually I can get back out. My neighbours may think I'm odd but I don't care anymore. It's torture living like this and we are stronger than we realise. I have no idea if that'll help but hope it helps to know you are not alone.

[NerevousLady46 in reply to pblife]

It definitely does help both to know I am not a complete weird person and others suffer to so first thank you so much for sharing this with me.. second I will begin doing that.. what do you do when u begin having a attack while outside cause I get light-headed sweaty heart racing it's scary ... So I don't want to be stuck outside

[pblife in reply to NerevousLady46]

When I'm outside, if I start getting an attack I get light-headed, heart racing, sweaty, feel like I'm not getting oxygen (I measured my oxygen and I'm wrong lol)... and I will admit, I find it hard to stop. However, the thing that I now do is to allow it to happen. The more I fight it, the worse it gets. The thing I find that helps me is to close my eyes (removes the distractions), breathe slowly but not too deep as this causes me to panic more, then if that fails I just sit down wherever I am and wait until it passes. I know I look odd to some people but I don't worry about that anymore. No point struggling to look "normal" and to be honest, nobody ever asks me if I'm ok so I guess I just look like someone taking a break. I have tried every technique under the sun but this seems to work for me. It means I don't worry about trying to stop it from happening and I don't feel like a failure like I used to. I hope that makes sense

I find that if I don't put pressure on myself not to have an attack outside, they happen less often. The other thing I do is only go out when you are feeling most optimistic. If you leave the house thinking that you don't feel up to it or you leave scared, I find this sets me back. If ever my brain says "I think I could go outside", that's when I do it, even if it's at a random time. I'm not sure this follows any therapy guidelines but after years of therapy not really solving my problem, I just do what helps me

[NerevousLady46 in reply to pblife]

I hear you about the therapy I find it doesn't do much for me I been in some form of therapy and on meds since being taken away from my very abusive birth mother and tried to kill myself and while I'll admit I have never really opened up to anyone about those things I fell why keep talking about it it happened I survived that and more so I am a strong person to a point ... Just pisses me off cause up until 3 yrs ago I was independent did everything by myself and for myself now I need my husband's help for just about anything having to do with outside our apartment I can manage inside our home ... I have always had depression been in meds ECT ECT ECT.. but this crap just began 3 yrs ago

[pblife in reply to NerevousLady46]

Same here... I was the most confident, independent and active person before all this. Until 4 years ago. Then one day I had my first panic attack when out shopping and they just got worse and worse to the point where I got stuck indoors unable to contemplate doing anything. Its so hard having to rely on other people and not being able to do everything I used to. I am a lot better than I was but still, it feels like each day is a battle. I always ask my husband, when will I feel like me again.

So sorry to hear everything you have been through and are going through now. I send you supportive vibes and will think of you and hope you're are improving. Little by little we'll get there. I think anyone who goes through panic, depression or anxiety is by default a strong person because this crap is not easy to cope with, but we do and that shows how strong we are x

[NerevousLady46 in reply to pblife]

you as well .. personally the only thing that pisses me off is when other people swear your faking exaggarating or being over dramtic.. like do you really think a person would willing stay inside... thank you for being a friend and giving advice so many people r so judemental

[pblife in reply to NerevousLady46]

The times people have said "aren't you over that by now... have you tried yoga!..." it's so frustrating that people don't understand what it's like. I agree, as if we'd be like this on purpose! The other thing is whenever I have an actual physical symptom, everyone always says oh, it's just anxiety! Just! lol

No problem at all... If even one thing helps, I am happy to share my experience

[pblife]

I agree 100%. When people say just go out you'll feel better, or pester me saying that I should meet up with them for coffee as it'll help to face my fears, it really winds me up. I too have tried facing my fears and it has never helped. CBT just made it worse. I have never tried medication, you say that helped, perhaps I should try. I tried beta blockers as that is all they prescribed for me but they just made me feel slowed down