Weird physical symptoms and fearing a brain tumor

[Scaredtobealive]

Hello!

I’m 17 and I’ve been struggling with anxiety and panic for almost a year, it started after a syncope episode that got my parents and me terrified. The physical and mental symptoms changed over time. These days I’m struggling with health anxiety(at least I hope so). My left side feels weak, I get these burn aches and stabbing pains in my head that panic me so much and I don’t know if I’m just imagining things because I read too many symptoms of brain tumor but I feel like I can’t speak properly at times and that I am more clumsy than usual...also a bit of nausea and lessened appetite. I dissociate a lot but I don’t know if it really is dissociation as it usually happens for a few seconds when I get panicked...it feels like I’m not really touching anything, like I’m falling and need to move so I can regain reality. I don’t know how to explain it but it is extremely physical. I am scared all the time that I will have an aneurysm or a stroke or that I’ll get diagnosed with a bad illness. I also get these brief moments of lightheadedness that come somehow from my stomach and I fear I’m going to die. I went to the doctors, did an abdominal and thyroid ultrasound and it came out normal. My blood work is also perfect. I went to the ENT for my tinnitus and she said it might be from anxiety and she gave me a b vitamin complex and it never happened again. On Wednesday I have an appointment with a neurologist and I don’t know how to make time pass faster so I can calm down cause I honestly feel as if I’m going to go crazy. I cry every day and pray and panic. I want this to end... how does anxiety feel for you? And have you experienced any of my symptoms?

Thank you for reading and sorry for the potential grammar mistakes, I’m not a native speaker.

[Antares__]

Hi,

my anxiety used to be a lot like yours except the constant worrying about my physical health. The thing you described as some sort of a loss of reality sounds a lot like depersonalization or some sort of dissociation. I've been trough some form of this too. It was more like whatever I did felt like someone else was doing this, like there is someone in my body who isn't really me and my mind and my body were just constantly disconnected. I get that waiting for your appointment with a neurologist must be really stressful and overwhelming. You are not going to go crazy though, everything will resolve. You are going to be okay. All the days that are coming are not going to be like this and you'll get better over time. Im sorry you experience these feelings every day. I must be really hard. You should be proud of yourself for getting through the day and doing something about it. Let us know how that doctors appointment went when you know something more )

[Scaredtobealive in reply to Antares__]

Thank you so much for your support! Are you over it now? Do you feel better?

[Antares__ in reply to Scaredtobealive]

Honestly, yes, my anxiety and dissociation got a lot better. Its still there and sometimes I still have these "episodes", but its not as bad as it used to be at all. It can take a long time to get rid of it completely, but it gets better.

[Scaredtobealive in reply to Antares__]

Glad to hear that..

[Scaredtobealive in reply to Antares__]

I went to the neurologist who couldn’t see me because I am under age, and they’re not a pediatrician neurologist, but after explaining my symptoms they recommended taking an mri, which freaked me out and I bawled my eyes out that entire day. Yesterday I had the MRI which was such a weird experience. I was in there for one hour because I had brain, angiography, sinuses and cervical spine, to exclude any cause for which the headaches could pop up. I wasn’t sure for how long I was in there, I was going to press the button to take me out cause I was panicking, my head was really uncomfortable and went a little numb and I thought I was bleeding and a lot of other irrational thoughts. Thank God I didn’t, because I found out later that if I do that, they have to start again. The doctor didn’t say much, for the results have to go to another city and then come back in a few days, but she said ‘Eveything is mostly fine, so don’t worry’. Now...I think if it had been a brain tumor she wouldn’t have said that, which calms me down a bit. I believe there’s something wrong with my cervical spine though, as it hurts to touch all the time and it feels deformed. I’ll let you know about the results, hopefully they’ll bring good news and therefore my peace.

[Antares__ in reply to Scaredtobealive]

Good to hear it calmed you down a little ) hopefully its nothing serious. MRI sounds pretty scary, sorry you had to go through that. Definitely let me know about the results!

[Scaredtobealive in reply to Antares__]

Well I’ll just start with the fact that everything is alright. The thing is they made a mistaked and added on my results that I have some kind of vascular malformation, which the neurologist said it doesn’t exist and showed my mom the scan and said that if there were anything she would be able to see it too. My folks didn’t tell me initially and freaked out so much my cervical spine is dehydrated and I have a thinner vein somewhere in the brain but apparently it’s just the way I was born. It scares me honestly though because I checked online and found some scary things about it but I’m trying to calm myself down and trust the doctors. The doctor said the shooting pains are because of stress and anxiety. I’ll see a psychologist from now on. Thank you so much for bearing with me and I wish you all the best!