When people in your life don’t understand

My husband and I often fight about my anxiety. He doesn’t have it and no one in his family has it. He is very laid back and chill and has never had any kind of serious stress in his life. I’ve had it almost my whole life and it runs in my family. Whenever I have a panic attack or feel strange from anxiety, he says things like “oh here we go again” “this happens all the time” “it’s always all about you..how about how I feel?” “this can’t keep happening” And it gives me more anxiety and makes me feel frustrated and angry. I care about how he feels and how other people feel but while I’m having a panic attack... it is about how I feel! Other than that, he treats me well and loves me. But when it comes to that, he just doesn’t get it. And even my doctor doesn’t get it. She says “what are you so anxious about?” I’m not anxious about anything... it just happens! No one takes me seriously because I physically look healthy. People need to start educating themselves and be more sensitive about mental health.

[greeneyes2]

Sorry to hear you are going through this and it is hard to explain to others that have never experienced it, it really is.

I recently had to attend my doctor to get antibiotics and i can hear it in him now that he just doesn't get it, so yes I agree more education on the subject required.

I hope you will be ok x

[Kaaayla]

Don’t worry you ain’t alone my brother is like it with me! Like I get myself into such a state panic attack where I’m screaming I can’t breath he’s like “ your breathing what are u even panicking for “ stop being extra. No one gets anxiety unless they have it!!!!

[Hidden in reply to Kaaayla]

Exactly. “Just get over it” “drama queen” it’s like who would want this??? You have to go through it yourself to understand

[Kaaayla in reply to Hidden]

I know this is such a bad bad thing to say but I’d rather have half a arm then living with anxiety and panic attacks everyday 😢😢😢😢

[kalif]

I have exactly the same my husband never talks to me about it, Iv tried to explain but he would rather not know..I just get through this on my own.he is quite a nice person but he just can’t handle my anxiety,so I say nothing and just try and get through it by myself,I’m sure I wouldn’t be this ill if someone would listen to me..I’m hear for everyone and help anyone but feel so alone.thats why I joined this group..

I really understand how you are feeling. X

[Hidden in reply to kalif]

I’m the same way! I usually shut him out when I feel anxious and I don’t usually bother talking about it because he doesn’t understand it anyway. He is a very sweet and kind person and he means well, but it’s hard for people who don’t have it to understand. And it’s hard when it’s your husband. Makes you feel like you’re living separate lives sometimes...like he has no idea what you’re going through at all and you have to fight through it on your own.

I’m here if you ever need to talk!

[Arlene99 in reply to kalif]

Hi there....I find myself in much the same situation. My husband is so laid back & doesn’t understand why I get so anxious about things. Like u I try my best to struggle through the bad days....I refer to them as potholes in the road. They r happening quite frequently just now as there is so much differing updates about this virus that I don’t know what to believe. I read something that is encouraging & next thing I read it’s all doom & gloom....no coping too well at the moment xx

[Hidden]

Hello

I hear you and that your husband is good in every other way but when we have anxiety I think the no 1 thing we need is for them to be supportive towards us

Someone that does not suffer cannot understand how bad this is because it cannot be seen only felt by the sufferer but they can still be supportive

I have to say I am lucky my Husband is good in every way and even more with my anxiety even though he is so laid back and till he met me I don't even think he knew what anxiety was , he certainly does now and without his support I would be lost so I feel for you

Could you not find on Google a good explanation about what it is like to suffer with anxiety and ask him to read it , explain that you understand that he does not get it but how him just been there for you and not making you feel worse would mean the world to you

I also would swap my Doctor , even though again I don't think my Doctor fully understands me she does her best to support me if I had one that didn't I would swap I would have to

The positive thing though is your family understand and you can come here knowing you will be understood and you are not alone

I agree though still more educating people about Mental Health is needed , it is a lot better than it used to be but still a long way to go and by speaking out as sufferers I think might play a big part in letting people know and where needed I do speak out not just for me but for everyone I know is out there suffering just like me

You have us when you need a chat

Take Care x

[lynstone60]

Wow I could of written this myself .sounds exactly like my husband .I have had HA all my life .I'm going through crap at the moment .I feel your pain x

[turtshlar]

What you are going through has to be so frustrating. Might I suggest to first search for another doctor. As a good doctor they should be a lot more empathetic with what you are going through. I would also try to find a regular support group for people who are going through the same thing. I believe this would help you tremendously. Also, I know what we put into our bodies has a huge effect on us. Have you looked into specific vitamins, organic products and holistic help? Also, know that we can't change another person but we can change how we respond to them. Praying for healing.

[Daniellesparkles]

At least you have us

[blueorganic1021]

I agree, my husband is the exact same way. No matter how much I try to explain to him, or how many videos and other resources I show him in hopes that he will understand, he just absolutely never does. And probably never will.

It definitely has created a wedge between us that would otherwise not be there, because we usually get along great when it comes to everything else.

With my anxiety, my depression, and my ADHD, he just thinks I am making it up, exaggerating my symptoms, or just completely overreacting about how much it effects me, and my ability to function in everyday life.

He also doesn’t realize that the more frustrated he gets at me, the worse and worse I begin to feel.

A lot of times I will go to a room by myself so I can be alone, which at least prevents him from amplifying my symptoms, and most often prevents us from arguing. However, he then views this as a sign that I don’t want to see him or to spend time with him.

Of course that’s not true, it’s the exact opposite. I do want to spend time with him, but when I’m feeling bad the fact that he doesn’t understand it, just makes me want to be alone. At least when I am alone I can try to calm myself down or do something else to take my mind off of it for a while.

Hang in there. You are not alone.

Oh and absolutely without a doubt, more education about mental health is needed, to raise awareness, provide support, but most importantly, to reduce the stigma.